Question:
What is there about this surgery that can give me hope I can KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF?
I have dieted off and on my whole life. I currently weigh 372#. I know a lot of people who have had the proximal RNY. Some have kept their weight off, others...not so much. My concern is, since I have NEVER been successful, in 49 years keeping it off, what is there about this surgery that gives me hope I will be able to keep it off 10 years later? I really don't WANT to have my guts rearranged for the rest of my life and STILL be fat. Thanks! connie — [Deactivated Member] (posted on May 25, 2007)
May 25, 2007
Connie... Here's the thing... RNY is an excellent TOOL to use. It helps
you in two ways... 1. It is restrictive in that it restricts the amount of
food that you can eat at any one time. 2. It is malabsorptive... you only
absorb part of what you eat, you usually will not be able to tolerate
highly fattened, sugared foods.. these will make you sick. There are some
people who can still eat like that and if you don't change your mindset
regarding food, then you will gain the weight back. As another poster on
her will tell you obesity is a head issue with a body consequence. How
true... so you will need to do the following things... and know this... if
you use this tool correctly, you will lose and keep the weight off... that
is the beauty of this tool, it is totally up to YOU.
1. You will need to commit to the idea and follow through with eating
healthy high protein low glycemic carbs in small amounts.
2. You will need to commit to the idea and follow through with exercise
everyday for the rest of your life... it will get easier and easier as the
weight comes off and you will want to get out there and move.
3. You will need to commit to taking vitamins and supplements for the rest
of your life - no getting around this one.. as if you don't there may be
very serious consequences to pay - sometimes immediately, but more long
term. You have, after all, rerouted the way your intestines and the way
your body processes and absorbs your food/nutrients.
4. Commit (through counseling) to change your relationship with food. Food
is an obsession for you now, a friend, confidante, go to thing when you
have emotions of happiness, sadness, anger, shame, etc. I always say that
it can be a seemingly good friend, but it is two-faced. Because, while it
is providing you with the comfort that it consistently delivers, it is
slapping the fat on you when your back is turned. The price of that
friendship is too high to continue to pay. Make no mistake the people who
are successful change their relationship with food. They no longer live to
eat, but eat to live. Don't get me wrong, eating can still be enjoyable,
but you will no longer be able to use it as a crutch. I went through some
intensive counseling... I was 317 when I finally decided to say enough was
enough (see my site). I learned other ways of dealing with emotions vs
going to the cupboard or refrigerator or the local fastfood joint. I
couldn't see myself changing my addiction from food to alcohol or drugs,
but definitely see myself shopping my family into the poor house. I still
struggle at times with wanting to eat badly, but choose to eat healthy
foods, as I don't want to go back to being fat and unhealthy. Since the
surgery, I have lost 95lbs, been off all of my high blood pressure and
diabetes medications, had my periods return to normal, be able to exercise
without thinking that I will have a heart attack, be able to shop for
clothes (currently a comfortable 18 with some 16s - my goal is a 10) So, I
still have a ways to go. You will hear people and your doctor refer to the
first 1-2 years as a honeymoon period. This is a time when you will lose
the weight without having to exert too much effort. The more you work at
it, the more you will lose. However, if within that honeymoon time, you
haven't changed your lifestyle to that of a healthy person wanting to do
the best things for her/himself vs being self destructive, you are doomed
to gain the weight back. The pouch can be stretched over time by
consistently eating too much, you will gain the weight back if you don't
exercise, you will gain the weight back if you don't change what you eat,
and above all you are doomed to fail if you don't change your relationship
with food. Make no mistake, Connie, the RNY is NO magic pill, surgery
etc... it is simply a TOOL to use. As with any other tool ever invented...
it can work and be very effective if you use it as it was designed to be
used. And like anyother tool, ever invented if you misuse it, you will get
hurt, and be sorely disappointed. The RNYs honeymoon period gets you
excited about changing for the better, as you will FINALLY see the scale
going in the opposite direction than you have seen it go in years You will
be able to get out there and exercise and feel good about yourself. You
will be able to see results and stay encouraged. This is the jumpstart
period ... but it is up to you on how successful it is. The surgeon will
do his/her part, the surgery will do its part, but the most important
factor is whether or not YOU do YOUR part. There is no cheating. For
years, who was I fooling (myself only) that if no one saw me eat that food,
then it didn't count ... how many of us have though that???? Anyway, I
recommend the following things for you.... Some honest self-exploration
regarding if you think that you can do the things listed above, lots of
research and reading books and the internet (there are millions of things
being written), go to some informational meetings (every hospital that
performs this surgery will have support groups) there will be a part of the
meeting which is strictly for pre-op people seeking information, then if
you want, you can stay for the rest of the meeting where you will hear
about the good things and the problems that people are having. And,
without exception, there are problems with some people. It is major
abdominal surgery. And like any other surgery, where millions are being
done, there are potential complications... so go into this with your eyes
wide open. Don't expect this surgery to fix everything that is wrong in
your life. That is the other thing that people who fail, I think, have
made their mistake. It is very easy at this point in your life (been
there) to blame everything that is wrong with your life right now on the
weight ... I would be more happy if I was thin, I would have better
relationships with men/women if I were thin, I would have a better job if I
were thin, the sky would be bluer if I were thin... you get the idea. When
people lose their weight and find out that maybe the weight wasn't to blame
with some of these issues, they turn back to food for comfort.... it
doesn't fix everything wrong in your life, but it is definitely easier to
deal with some things being lighter. So I hope I have helped. Keep asking
questions, you are bound to get all kinds of answers. Keep in mind that
most have no medical training and are speaking through personal experience
only, so any health question is usually best brought up with your doctor.
You can always ask here, but take the answers with a grain or shaker of
salt... whichever the case may be... LOL... My prayers will be with you..
but remember you have to change the way Connie thinks about food to have a
thin Connie... good luck to you...
— Kari_K
May 25, 2007
This surgery is not for everyone with a weight problem. The purpose of
this surgery is to provide you with a tool to facilitate your losing
weight. The only way YOU will lose weight is if YOU take the personal
responsibility of complying with the rules to use your tool. Before YOU
decide to have your guts rearranged, YOU need to look at the rules and see
what your life will be like after surgery. YOU need to make the decision
that this is a lifestyle YOU can live with. Always remember, this is a
tool and only a tool. Some of us dump when we eat sweets or have too much
fat, others do not. If YOU decide to have this surgery and then YOU decide
to ignore the rules, you will regain the weight. WE are here to help
support you along the way, but ultimately, YOU and only YOU can choose to
use YOUR tool as designed.
— nursenut
May 25, 2007
Unfortunately there is no guarantee, and the only hope that the weight
stays off is up to you. However, after getting the surgery and learning
how to eat the correct way and add exercise into the eqasion, most people
do keep the weight off. It's the ones that think they will keep losing
forever after going back to their old way of eating and not exercising.
After learning how to eat correctly and eat smaller portions after a couple
years, most have retrained themselves and it comes naturally to keep the
weight off. Good luck!
— crystalsno
May 25, 2007
Connie....first, there are not guarantees (with anything in life and
certainly, not with WLS)...secondly....you need to be READY to make
LIFESTYLE changes and change the way you mentally deal with or don't deal
with food. If you are not mentally prepared, you will probably fail. I see
it. I read about it. If you do what you are supposed to do, when and how -
down the road - barring any unforseens circumstances - you should succeed.
Best of luck.
— jammerz
May 25, 2007
Connie,
Everything that the people above have said is absolutely correct. This
surgery is a TOOL, not a solution. You have to dig deep inside yourself and
figure out what got you to your weight problems in the first place. Mine
was depression eating. I had to figure out something else to do in place of
eating a bag of chips when I got down in the dumps. I'm a year out and
doing well, and fighting to keep old habits from coming back. It's not
easy, and some days are harder than others but... I'd do it again in a
moment. With this tool, I'm able to live a better and healthier life. I can
decide what I want to be. There are no guarantees that 10 years later you
won't have gained it back again unless you figure out what makes you tick.
You will still be dieting the rest of your life, just not the same kind of
diet you are used to now. I have to make sure I get my protein in, my water
in, and every time I put something in my mouth I do so by conscious
decision. I try to let myself have treats on occasion, or I'd go crazy. The
best advice I can give you is that if you do pursue this surgery that you
make sure you fix what's wrong with you in the process. Just because you
get thin won't make all of life's problems go away (even though we think
that ... "if I was only thin this would be different"). Losing
the weight is only part of the battle. You MUST deal with your emotions and
figure out who you are and what drives you to make the food decisions you
make.
Good luck and hope this helps
— oceanrayne
May 25, 2007
I totally agree with what everyone else is saying. WLS is not a
"magic" surgery that still lets you eat whatever you want when
you want with no consequence. It is a tool to HELP you. Connie, what you
have to decide is if you can make the lifestyle changes required to be
sucessful with this surgery. I can tell you that it is SOO worth it, but it
is very hard to change your mindset and follow "the rules". In
re-arranging your guts forever, you are also adding years to your life, so
consider that when you think about what path you want to take. There are no
guarantees, but there IS hope and sucess with hard work. :) Best of luck
to you!
— airbear762000
May 25, 2007
It's easy to regain with the RNY - or with the band, unless we have made
permanent changes in our lifestyle and eating. Neither is a temporary diet;
both require serious changes that are needed for life.
Both require the same improved eating, improved exercise, and improved
lifestyle. Both require serious work on overcoming emotional eating,
learning WHY we are overeating, and then learning to choose better ways of
meeting those needs (not involving food).
With the RNY, After about 24 months or so, the body has adapted to the
bypassed intestine which is "starving" the body, by re-growing
parts of the intestine. By about 6 months, alo, the tiny initial pouch has
been stretched out. Then, as per a Bypass doc interviewed in a major
magazine in July 2005, "Then, Bypass clients must rely on strict
dieting and exercise to maintian any lost weight."
SAdly, that is just what we could NOT do before, and it didn't sound too
good to me....
I opted for the Band, myself., beucase it is always there to help us. It
never loses it's effect, and always helps us control our eating and
quantities.
It still requires the same lifelong eating and exercise improvements, but
does not lose it's effect by 18-24 months, and the longterm stats re
maintained loss seem better than the RNY in many studies.
I know, sadly, a great many bypass clients who have regained badly. Bypass
people lose much more quickly in the first 1-2 yrs, but then the band and
bypass losses are nearly identical, and I felt the band was much safer -
from the initial surgery to the longterm side-effects, to the body
NON-alteration.
It's a personal decision - research very well, look at the stats, discuss
both options with a highly experienced bypass surgeon, and then a
highly-experienced BAND surgeon.
Not many bypass docs also do bands well, since they are very different
procedures, and have very different aftercare needs.
SAndy R
banded 4 yrs, at goal x 3 yrs
— SandyR
May 25, 2007
Hi Connie, you ask the age old question that we all do when we research.
If we are honest, we all face this. For me, I thought that if I could feel
full that I would be able to stop eating. I have always exercised, so I
thought that would continue. Losing weight is always about diet and
exercise. Don't forget that. With the tool, you have the opportunity to
use it to your advantage and really lose weight, but you have to keep it
off with smart eating and exercise. If you live by your old habits, you
won't change in the long run, and be sorry in the end. The stomach is
smaller, but the brain finds a way to get in as much food as possible. You
have to be ready for the changes and adapt to them. For example, I snack
on shrimp now, now chips. The protein is excellent, the bites are small
and it is a win/win situation. I eat salads and other stuff more than
before, but I also have a treat from time to time. I eat small but normal.
I have kept off the 120 pounds for 3 years, and I would first give God the
glory for this. He has helped me change how I feel about food and
recognize that I still lust for food and attempt to catch it when I do a
bad habit. You just have to be willing to work at it. My pouch still
works for me. I have changed the way I see and eat food. I am 46 and
understand the place you are in. I felt I needed the mal absorptive
quality of the rny, and I was right. It has been a great aid to me, and I
am glad for it. I never forget though that diet and exercise at this
point, 3 years out, is all I have. My pouch will help if I use it, if I
ignore it's help, then I can regain. It is always a choice Connie, it is
just that now that you (or when you) have surgery and make that choice, you
have to be determined to do with it what you should, and move forward. The
hope is that losing weight will produce the energy and desire to do more
for your health that want to go back. It is a mental battle, but one worth
fighting and winning. Take care, Patricia P.
— Patricia P
May 26, 2007
Dear Connie,
Just about everyone on here is truly right! We can only alter our lives
from the inside out frist, rather than the outside in! I am very greatful
for this surgery; and I am changing my life for the better for the first
time with REAL HOPE! I too have had the same fears that you are facing. Let
on-one else tell you what to do with your life; take the time to make up
this decision because it it a very life altering one.. Make yourself a list
of reason's to have surgery; and reason not to. Then look at each one
realistically and truthfully. If you want this bad enough it will be a
sucess! If anyone who has had this surgery is honest they will all tell you
they had their doubts, reservations, temporary regrets, fears; and all
other things you are thinking about! I know I did.. Now almost 4 months
post op I am happier; and healthier than I have been in years! I am not
saying that I have no more bad days because I do. As for long term regret
of my decision NEVER! Best wishes to you in whatever decision you make..
HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT! Good luck, Sincerely, Judy R
P.S. I am close to your age and been in the same boat!
— ozlady1000
May 26, 2007
Well, I think part of this is going to be posted twice. I'm trying to get
used to this site. Sorry. ANYWAY, I was saying I really appreciate you
who have responded to my question; but, maybe I didn't frame it succinctly
enough. Or...maybe there isn't any solid answer to it. You see, I
recognize if I choose surgery, it will mean lifestyle changes for a
lifetime. I understand about the honeymoon period and have seen first hand
what can happen after the honeymoon is over for RNY proximal patients. The
thing that lurks at the back of my brain, as my hopes begin to rise that
life can really be different for me, is that every doc and every post-op
and every thing I read clearly says, if you want to keep it off, you have
to watch what you eat, and change the way you think about food for the rest
of your life.
Well, here's a clue....if I had ever been successful with THAT, I wouldn't
be where I am now, would I? And if I could do that, would I really NEED
surgery??
So again I ask, from those of you who have had surgery and been successful
over time: Are there things about this surgical tool that can give me
realistic reason to believe I might actually be able to stick to my avowed
lifestyle changes this time? I really don't have a lot of confidence in my
ability to do that. At the age of 49 and with >200 pounds to loose and
keep off, I have reason to not be confident in my ability to stick with it
for the rest of my life. How have YOU managed to do so, 5 years, 10 years,
15 years out?
Again, thanks for the insights. I appreciate them probably more than you
might know. connie
— [Deactivated Member]
May 27, 2007
Hi Connie... I will not be as long-winded in this answer as I was in my
initial post to you... LOL... the answer still remains that you need to
make the eating and exercise changes a priority, or this surgery will not
work for you. I sounds like you have a real lack of self-confidence (we
all did) when it comes to thinking about all of our past failures. But, I
have found the difference to this is (And, I am only 6 1/2 mos out, so I am
not a long-term, keep it off person.. YET) is that 1) I lost the weight
rapidly, and that was a huge incentive. 2) If my willpower slips and I eat
something that I shouldn't, I get a really quick and powerfully unpleasant
reminder of why I should not be eating like that anymore (one of the
reasons that I chose the RNY) 3) Having the weight come off rapidly allows
you to increase your activity level by leaps and bounds. I was truly
surprised how just a small amount of weight coming off at first gave me so
much energy. My recommendation to you is while you are deciding to get/not
get the surgery.. do GET some counseling, as this will provide a lot of
insight and help with your decision making process. Just remember to be
honest and I truly think that you are and that is where all of the
self-doubt is coming from. But, I will tell you, from personal experience,
that my only regret is not having had the surgery sooner... be well and
good luck with whatever decision you make. You know that 49 years old is
still young...
— Kari_K
May 30, 2007
Connie, Connie, Connie! If at first you don't succeed, TRY, TRY, TRY, TRY,
TRY and TRY again! This can work as can any other diet and exercise
program...this just gives ole willie the power a boost! YOU are the one
who's gotta make it happen and stay that way...goodest of luck
— LouAB
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