Question:
A question for the

How the heck did you get morbidly obese? This is a serious question. I see so many saying that they NEVER do this or that, if you are so good at making the correct food choices all the time how did you get fat in the first place?? I do not mean any disrespect, I just know that I am human and I struggle with the same demons post-op that I did pre-op. Yes it is much easier to make the correct choices after WLS and I do make them 90% of the time. But to see some of you so negative telling people that they are failures because they eat something that you may think is "bad" is ridiculous. There is no right or wrong way to WLS, it is a very personal journey and what works for you may not work for me. I will be happy compare my stats against anyone's in 10 years and I can promise you that I will still have a normal BMI, and have eaten a little junk along the way. I am not perfect I am human. — Haziefrog (posted on February 10, 2005)

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February 9, 2005
I love it!! Somone is human besides me!! I can't wait to see some of the responses you get from this..I agree totally with everything you said..If we were so perfect we never would have needed wls at all!! Thankyou!!
— Sharon1964

February 9, 2005
Amen sister!! I have not had the surgery yet, but I can tell you this, I do not believe for one minute that it is a miracle cure to my lifelong way of thinking about food. The whole reason for the surgery is so that my own body will not allow me to overeat!! I realize that what we choose will be important and all that blah blah blah, but people that are already at their "goal weight" need to understand that although your stomach may be smaller now, your way of thinking and eating has been around for many many years. Just my two cents!!
— mzsmitty62

February 9, 2005
gosh its soo nice to see other humans here, i was beginning to think i was on the planet of wls perfectionists...wish people would be supportive and not judgemental...
— Deanna Wise

February 9, 2005
How did I become morbidly obese? Well, I ate alot more than I should have and then plopped my butt on the couch. It's that simple. WLS forces you to lose weight, you will lose weight, period. You can't help it, you simply can not eat enough food to maintain a morbidly obese body. The trick is that one needs to learn how to modify the way they veiw food to be successful in the long run. For some this has to be done by documenting EVERY bit of food that enters their mouths, some look to exercise to combat what they have put in their mouths, and some balance between the two. For me, I do not need perfection, and I do not have the patence to document food or spend an hour a day at the gym. However, I can and do THINK about the food choices. Let me explain...Before, a donut was yummy and I would eat it w/o thinking. Now, if I eat one several things run thru my mind before hand. This will taste really good, this will make me sick, this will sit like a rock in my stomach...I have to weigh the good with the bad. I will end up taking a bite or two, feel like crap and throw the rest out. I also am more aware of my physical activity...I don't go to the gym, but I do park a bit further out in the parking lot. I will walk the dog, I'll play races with the kids. As for your comment about negative militant comments that I see on here, it is usually someone that is newly post op that NEED the structure at their point in their journey, or someone that just must have that structure to stay in control. I can't fault that way of thinking, after all, it's what is keeping them in control. But I agree that many of the negative comments do need to be kept to themselves as not all of us need that type of strict structure to be successful. Just my opinion. ~~Rebecca 10/03/01
— RebeccaP

February 10, 2005
I think we all know why we got fat, but I dont think WSL is a wonderous mircle either. We can gain weight back and we are fooling ourselves if we dont follow the program and go back to our old habits. I eat too much, I graze and I know its wrong but I also know postops who harass me for not eating refined sugar, drinking liquor and beer and soft drinks...they believe we should not deny ourselves--I even quit Barix Support group because the leader preached at me not to deny myself. I need to practice willpower and thank God after 50 years I seem to have more after WLS. I go to a new group now and our leader is attending several seminars and she does an absolute wonderful job all postops can attend. I know what works for me and those things are extremely addictive for me and I have come too far. I also know postops who refuse to get in their protein, etc. and are having major nutritional problems, but will tell you their way is the best and they are at goal so all is well. I still have a ways to go and I want to be healthy. Exercise and caring for my health is my main objective. I really dont care to know if people can cheat..no one is failure..but sometimes misery loves company. I'm good with my eating habits about 80% of the time and I'm not a failure --I just keeping trying. I will support anyone who wants to try ....trying to do better is all we can do.Best wishes
— debmi

February 10, 2005
I love this comment. I have wondered the exact same thing. I am only two months PO, but I do know that if something makes me sick, I will not want it again. I cannot eat oranges due to an "incident" that occured while I was pregnant with one of my sons...22 years ago. I like the comment about the donut sitting like a rock.
— yvonne1953

February 10, 2005
I became morbidly obese before WLS the same way you can again become morbidly obese after WLS: too many calories, no activity. It's as simple as that. The fact is that there IS a right way for eating after WLS, just like there's a right way to eat without having WLS: make heathly food choices, drink water, exercise A LOT. Of course, it's easier said than done but none of us can ever change the equation of calories in vs. calories out. If someone comes up with a way to trump that equation, I will be the first to cancel my gym membership and dive into a vat of whipped cream. Also, everyone's idea of what is success after WLS is different. There are those of us who have the surgery who have unrealistic expectations-- like thinking "Ooo, this will make me a size 4 and guarantee life-time happiness." Those are usually the people who are very unhappy with results that for other people would be considered a triumph. It's all relative.
— lizinPA

February 10, 2005
OK, put me in the "ate too much/didn't exercise enough" group. My M.O. status was no mystery, though it doesn't explain why other people in my family with the same bad habits never even got fat, let alone obese, let alone morbidly so. That's okay. They didn't get my stunning good looks or athletic prowess. Wait . . . dang, I missed those lines, too. :-PI agree with those who view morbid obesity as a disease and WLS as a way of battling it into remission. More power to those who can eat everything in moderation as long-term posties, but I cannot without going down the road of wanting more junk. Some days, hey, I get what you're saying perfectly well, what's a little junk, life is good. If one is truly in control of what one's eating, and allows a little junk to creep in, well, cool beans. But very often, that is simply not true and people aren't being honest with themselves about their ability to control that stuff. I can speak only for myself: I am not normal, I am prone to morbid obesity, which means I'm prone to regain, which means I dare not casually assume I can eat a little of whatever and be just fine. And I know I'm not alone there. ;-) So, when you feel people are being inflexible and nuts, cut 'em a little slack. They're just fighting their own demons their way, and if you are really so sure your BMI will be normal in ten years . . . you're a heckuva lot more confident than I'll ever be.
— Suzy C.

February 10, 2005
As for me eating all type of sweets and not enough exercise took me to the misery department but now I think twice before eating that type of stuff however I do still make bad decisions and I feel that it is because I am depressed I am down about 95lbs but sometime as I read what other posters post it makes me upset because they are a little to harsh to the person asking for help we are here for each other and you do not have to be so harsh when answering questions for each other but I guess as humans that is just how some people are some put it to you nice and some just drop it on you like whatever but I think that this website is great and I appreciate all of the support that I receive and I also get alot of my questiobns answered by reading the q&a board
— JENNIFER S.

February 10, 2005
IT IS THE FAULT OF MY TWO BEST FRIENDS REESE'S & HERSHEY, THEY MADE ME DO IT!!! I had some issues in my early childhood that caused me to rely on food for comfort and that comfort just continued to grow as I grew until at one point in my life I hit 400lbs. But sometimes hiding behind the fat was much easier than facing what my real life issues were so when I started researching this and I knew I wanted it to work I knew I had to resolve issues and I still work on those everyday after all it took me 31 years to reach this point I can't expect it to go away in last 1 year and 120 lbs.....Nancy
— nefish

February 10, 2005
I got deathly MO by eating mashed potatoes, bread, rice, cake. And not exercising. Not drinking water, but drinking diet coke instead. I am also in the camp that tries to act "perfectly" post-op. I call that "using the tool to the best of my ability.... or simply eating like a normal, healthy person. I have seen TOO MANY POST-OPS that start eating a little bit of crap food once in a while, or diet soda, etc. Sudddenly they're eating a can of Pringles or normal sweets every day, and regaining after going to all this trouble to have WLS. I am not saying this happens to everyone who is a non-dumper who induldges. But it happens a lot. Face it... if some of us could not control bad habits (emotional eating, poor fitness) pre-op, who is to say it would be different unless we modify our behavior? Am I perfect? No. But I try to do the best I can, every day, and constantly remind myself that food made a dandy drug before I rearranged my insides. And it still could today if I let it. I refuse to go there again. What kills ME is that someone would base their HAPPINESS on whether or not they have a piece of chocolate cake.... I hear this all the time: "I want to live like a normal person. Why is it so bad to have cake or three pieces of pizza." It's just food. Why hinge happiness on chewing something that has zero benefit other than a rush of sugar or fat? Or appear like a "normal" person in a social situation? Wouldn't living longer and healthier be enough? Maybe we can concentrate on doing things post-op that make us happier than eating cheesecake? It's really just self-medicating. I would not get on here and say someone is "bad," but I do worry when I see posts implying that no more buffets and diet coke means we're doomed to be miserable. Flame away. Just remember that I was MO too, so I am somewhat qualified to voice my opinion.
— kultgirl

February 11, 2005
Who's perfect? Not me . . . I fall down almost daily, and get back up, go on as best I can. I make some kind of mistake frequently . . . not always the same one. I'd also like to point out that someone who's pushing the envelope at 2 months is risking big problems later. If I had been eating cookies at 2 months, I'd still be fat. I couldn't even eat fruit at 2 months. Can't eat cookies now, at 23 months. No one's a failure for eating junk . . . but they are sabotaging themselves . . . if it doesn't slow weight loss (and it prolly is, whether you know it or not), it raises the sugar threshold . . . making it possible to eat more sugar next time.
— RWH G.

February 11, 2005
The great thing for me with WLS has been the Freedom to accept my compulsive eating. I still get sick--VERY--(WLS 4/9/01)--if I make the wrong choces. This is a very good thing. It has allowed me to eat right beacuse I have to, and now it is the normal way for me to eat. At work we have donuts and sweets in the kitchen everday. I havn't ate sugar since before the surgery. I don't even want it. The surgery has given me the freedom from that craving. NOW--I am not perfect. Carbs call my name as if they were the piped piper. And I follow just like all the varmits. The surgery can give each of us the ability to cope with our "demons" and hopefully we are succesful most of the time. Luv ya All--Bek
— bek4901

February 11, 2005
For those who are perfect - good for them. I'm not either. I'm Just another human being. the pouch limits, but I Know I have eaten things knowing I might be "punished" for it later and just took my chances. I have to say it was easier to be "perfect" or close to it the first year, but real life happens too. just do your best and focus on the positive and celebrate your successes.
— **willow**

February 11, 2005
Hazel, you are absolutely correct about "what works for you may not work for me." I truly believe that, after a certain point, many (or even most) of us have to learn how to use this wonderful tool in our own way. It was certainly true for me! I am a flawed human also! I don't dump, either. So I am able to have the occasional indulgence without consequences. So I really have to watch it. I still need to lose about 30 more pounds, but I have the rest of my life to do it, and it's not the same as trying to lose 120 lbs. I give high marks to those who are "perfect" and feel very sorry for them if they ever make a mistake, because that could be devastating. I would rather know and set my own limits, with some realism counted in.
— koogy

February 12, 2005
I just had to add my 2 cents! I agree that what works for me may not work for everyone, or even anyone, but so far it has worked for me. I have reached my personal goal and even gone a little below at 148. Now, that is a little high for my height, but I am more concerned with how I feel and I feel good at this weight. I wear a size 8 pant and med top - well within "normal" range. I don't really dump unless I eat a huge amount of sugar and I don't throw up, just the icky feeling and heart racing. I do eat things that some would say we shouldn't eat, but I've gained control over them and can seriously limit myself to just a bite or two. I just recently got a new PCP and we discussed my WLS - he's not in favor of it, but it's already done, so he will deal with it. He asked me what my long term eating plans were and I explained that my main goal was to be as "normal" as possible. I make sure that I get in enough protein and water and I take my massive dose of vitamins every day (I take the vitamins due to health issues). I'm 14 months out and I'm just now being able to do the exercise part because I got very sick at 3 months and have neuropathy, but I'm trying to get more in. Anyway, my new doctor said that he felt I had the best idea on the eating part. He was impressed that I had seriously considered the eating part and had a plan. I also weigh every day and if I go up over 5 lbs, then I increase the water and back off the extras. Will this work long term? I don't know, but it feels right for me at this point. I think that is all we can do, the best that we can at any given moment and it may not always be the same. Good luck on your journey!! Tina 12/4/03 144 lbs lost.
— tmchase62

February 17, 2005
Hazel, You go girl!!! Well, what I wonder is why in the world anyone would try to follow someone else's "way of doing things". We are all so different and so are our bodies. God made us to be very individual. I don't listen to those "perfect" people. Why? Because I know they only think they are perfect. Obviously they have other issues that they don't want to deal with. I pity those that think they are perfect, because one day they will be shocked to find out that they are not. I couldn't have said it better myself. I am almost 4 months post-op and I eat whatever I want to eat. (now I eat very tiny amounts) If it makes me sick, I'm not going to be anxious to try it again, but I may try something new everyday. God bless you...
— debi327

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