Question:
What did you say about your surgery to those you did not want to disclose fully to?
I'm comfortable with the idea of WLS, just got my date, have a supportive husband, and two or three close friends who want me to be healthy as well. Here's the rub. I lost about 96 pounds a decade ago on Opti-Fast. I regained the weight. My sisters-in-law were okay during the weight loss, but looked at me less than supportively as the weight crept back on. This time I do not want to tell them in advance what the surgery is for exactly, nor do I want to lie. How can I let them know I am having surgery for my health, yet not go into deep detail? — Mary Ann B. (posted on October 27, 2002)
October 27, 2002
I told people that I was having some surgery, if they asked what for I
would say it is gastro intestinal something. Do you really want all of the
details? Once you mention intestines most people don't really want to know
any more.
— Linda A.
October 27, 2002
I told people I was having a hernia repair. No one really asked any
questions about the surgery. I have told people since then that I had had
RNY surgery and have found everyone supportive of me. I only told my
immediate family and some very close friends prior to the surgery. But now
I am happy with my decision and don't care who knows. I see the surgery as
a tool to help me overcome my need for food. Good luck to you.
— barbara A.
October 27, 2002
The people that I have told about my surgery (which has been quite a few)
were told everything about it except my 2 brothers and 1 sister - they got
everything except for the date of my surgery. We are not especially close
and I didn't want to have to deal with them being a "loving"
brother or sister and visiting me while I was recovering in the hospital.
<p>
But I didn't lie to anyone and tell them the surgery was anything but what
it was. And I've gotten full support from everyone. Even casual
acquaintances from other states that I know only via e-mail and phone calls
ask me quite often how I am doing and how the weight loss is going. And
they always have kind words of encouragement to keep me going...JR
— John Rushton
October 27, 2002
Be funny about it, tell them you're having a sex change operation. That
usually defers the questions about weight issues. LOL
— Leigh G.
October 27, 2002
What Leigh said! There is one motor mouth at work. I didn't tell her
anything, but she's nosy. So my friends told her I was having a boob job.
I bought a nice new, lift and separate bra before I went back to work, and
when I walk by her, I stick the girls out loud and proud. :-)
— Kelly B.
October 27, 2002
— wemax2
October 27, 2002
How about "female surgery". I mean, you ARE female and your ARE
having surgery.........................so it's really not a lie. :-) I
love the creative answers!!!
— Karen K.
October 27, 2002
Just tell them your having stomach problems,or even gall bladder problem's,
I don't blame you for not wanting to tell your family the whole story, part
of my family is the same way,,, good luck with your surgery..
— bikerchic
October 27, 2002
If people came out and asked me...I said "it's something that is
really hard for me to talk about". You could also say "girl
problems" or "adominal surgery"...something like that.
— Marlene U.
October 27, 2002
I am planning on telling my co-workers that I have a gastro intestinal
problem and am having surgery for it. If you aren't comfortable lying, be
evasive and tell them it's a personal matter that you're not up to talking
about.
— Rhonda J.
October 27, 2002
You dont have to tell them anything! Just keep it between your husband and
your close friends should you choose to. My boss and colleagues are in a
different state than I so I told them I was having surgery for my back.
That is in fact a true statement but my coworkers in my physical office
know what I've done and its worked out well for me so far. But truly this
is your personal business and if you feel that the sisters in law will be
judgemental then they dont have a need to know! Good luck and God Bless
:o)
— Bambi C.
October 28, 2002
I work for a small company where people believe everyone else's business
is his or her own. Our ceo's secretary happens to also do our disability
benefits so he told me I had to tell her. What a mistake -- all 139 other
people found out almost instantly and I really regret that I told her.
Moral of the story: if your instinct says don't tell these people or leave
out some key information then follow your instinct.
— Mary U.
October 29, 2002
If someone was nosy enough to ask why I was going to be off work, I said
that my surgery was just a girl thing. After all, I've read about 80% of
WLS patients are female. Good luck to you.
— Valerie B.
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