What should I do about my downhill marriage?

I hate to use this forum to ask for advise for something outside WLS, but I am quickly drawing to the end of my straw. I feel as if my husband is sabotaging me so that I can't have this surgery. Ever since I told him I wanted this a couple of years ago, he has been against it. He is afraid I will leave him for someone better. At this rate, he just might be right. At this point in my life, my family will not come down to see me, due to the fact that he cussed at them on the phone and told them he did not want them down here. None of my friends will come over, because he acts up around them, and I won't let them in because the house is a mess. He won't clean any, and when I do as much as I can to clean, he will come home, yell at me, and mess it up all over again. He threatens to hit me, and is often violent to the point of scaring me into fearing for my life. He cheats on me on a regular basis with other women, online and off. That has caused even more friction in our marriage. The house is a hell hole. I can't go anyplace. I can't have anyone over. And anytime I confront him on things, he is unpredictable as to how he will react. I know I have to stay with him so that I can get my surgery. I know that is unethical, but I have no other choice. He has insurance, and without it, I am sunk. I guess I am just looking for someone with an objective outside view to give me some insight as to what to do. I don't know how much longer I can take this. Most days, I am depressed beyond the point of consolation. When I tell him this, he just shrugs it off and says it isn't his problem. Where did my sweet, caring husband go? What do you all think I should do? Please, any and all advise is welcome.

We greatly appreciate your interest in helping us build our Q&A database. To discourage vandals from posting garbage, however, we require people to register before posting.

You must be logged in to post an answer. Click here to log in.