HELP! Want to date but very scared...am I truly ready yet?

Hi everyone...I just have to get this off my chest...this may be a long post. I'm 6 months post op and have lost 121 lbs (started at 360 now weigh 239). I'm really interested in finding someone special and have been talking to some guys online. I really don't like the online thing, because I've been finding either the guys don't like me cause of my size, or they do and are just looking for "one thing". I want a relationship and kind of use chat rooms and IMing for "practice". Well, this weekend I spoke to a guy who actually lives in the same town as me. He's only a year older than me and is new to the area. He's a normal size guy and was pretty nice looking. So I thought once I sent him my pic it would be over. I told him about my surgery, and he liked my picture said I was cute and wanted to meet me. I was going to visit him at his work...drove in the parking lot...and had a full blown panic attack. I got physically nauseated and was sweating profusley. I couldn't go in the building. This isn't the first time this has happened. I'm 25 and have very minimal dating expereince. Even though the guy saw the real me and liked it I was freaked that when he saw me it would be over. Probably part of the problem is that I still feel so insecure...I'm still overweight but not crippling obese like I was before. I'm not the most outgoing person either, so I'm scared I'd have nothing to say, plus being overweight doesn't make the best first impression. I know I'm focusing too much on myself and epecting the worst to happen. I feel like an awkward 13 year old in an adult's body so it's really tough! I tell myself maybe I should lose more weight,but I can't keep doing this forever. I'm really bummed out cause I really wanted to meet this guy the most out of anyone I've talked to lately. I would love to hear from anyone who began dating post-op and how you got over the "first scary step". What helped you relax? Or does it sound like I should take some additional steps before I try this. I have been in therapy for 4 years but I don't see my therapist for another 2 months. I also take Zoloft to control my anxiety symptoms and for the most part it works for everyday use. Feel free to E-mail me...thanks in advanced for your help :)

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