What do you think?

Hi, it's been a long time since I've been on here. I've been dealing with a few issues. Here it goes. Well, somtime during the journey I kept on throwing up and losing weight. At first it was OK, because I knew of a lot of people that didn't make it to goal and I was surely getting there. I thought I kept on throwing up because I was over doing it or didn't chew well or ate to fast or not the right foods. Even though I totally eliminated rice, breads, and pastas. But, I still justified it thinking I was one of those who just didn't tolerate these foods. I did tell the surgeon, and he kept on reinforcing the right foods, chew well, eat slower. It got progressivley worst. I was hospitalized three times for dehydration. The last time I was in the hospital, I went in with 88 lbs. The surgeon told me that they were going to insert a feeding tube. Miracoulasly(spelling?), I started eating before they inserted the feeding tube while I was at the hospital. So, now I thought it was a mental thing. They mentioned feeding tube and it sent a message to the brain telling me I needed to eat. Everyone was starting to tell me it was mental. I started to believe it. Before I left the hospital, the surgeon was going to perform an upper endoscopy. He found I had stricture from the new pouch to the intestine. It was not letting any food down. All this time and there was a reason. I was weak, and malnourished. That was about a month ago. I have now been eating a little too good. I'm very worried because I'm eating with this desire. I want to cram down everything I wasn't able to have for almost a year and a half. I've gained 9 lbs. in a month. I think maybe this quick weight gain because any food I put in a 88 lb. body will gain weight. I hope so. I recognize that I want more food than anybody at work. More than my husband. Of course, everybody tells me it's OK becuase I need to gain weight. But nobody was obese like I use to be. I thought I was a changed person. I didn't eat rice, breads, or pastas. But that has all changed in one short month. I'm telling myself I will stop when I gain 10 more lbs. But , how many times did I say that before when I was on a diet? Does anyone think I'm worrying legitamately, or I'm just gaining weight because I was so thin?

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