A question of ethics or understanding the way to work your new tool.

My sister Mary is 40 years old, pushing 350 pounds and will surely die before she is 50 from morbid obesity. She is now borderline diabetic due to obesity and currently has a thyroid condition and takes anti-depressants because of depression due to her weight. I have lost 172 pounds 14 months post-op and my sister won't even look at me. She goes into another room when I go to my parent's house. I know she desperately wants to be where I am now. The problem is is that Mary is mentally retarded. My own doctor will not consider the surgery for her because of concerns post-op that she will not understand the rules of chew, chew, chew, taking small bites and learning how to work the tool and that she might set herself up for problems later on because she eats hue mouthfuls of food. Ethics wasn't a factor since my parents are her legal guardians and can make all medical decisions for her well-being but they, as well as I, wonder if this surgery could save her life. My sister's psycologist says absolutely not to surgery but my sister's primary care physician is pushing it. So what do you do? Do I teach her pre-op all that is involved with working the tool? She may get all the answers right but will she understand how to implement them post-op? She is not severely retarded and can carry a conversation well with others, can take care of her personal hygiene, make coffee and other small tasks. She could never live on her own. I just don't know what to suggest? Any feedback on this sensitive subject of WLS for the mentally retarded. Any doctor's views out there would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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