What do you do when you loose a huge bond that you and your spouce had??

I am pre-opp (300lbs) and determined to have this surgery to save my life and help my daughter (9 yrs old-120 lbs) avoid the obesity road that I took. I am terrified, my husband is very large as well (425lbs)and we use food as a bonding tool in our marriage. He is dead set not to get any type of surgical help. Will our marriage fall apart once I can't eat anymore and he can't be as active as I will be?? I need some guidance from somebody who's been there please. I'm afraid I'll save my life but then be miserable because I will loose my best freind in the process. I'd rather die younger and happy than old and lonely.

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