Am I the only one with this problem

I've been divorced for 20 years. I gained 100 lbs that first year and then an additional 80-90 lbs. over the next years. My 2 daughters are now grown. I decided early one that they would come first and I would not have them spend additional time with a sitter so I could go out. Plus I was very hurt and didn't want to be hurt again. I have not dated in all these years. I had RNY on 3/6/02 and I've lost 136 lbs. I have been approved for resconstructive surgery--breasts, stomach and knees (arms were denied). My problem is this--I don't know any eligible men and I don't go anywhere that might have any. I work in a small office (I'm the manager)and our clientele are the elderly and disabled for the most part. Not exactly what I'm after. Don't suggest Church because I am active at Church and there isn't anyone. I do not drink, smoke, or party and I don't want to. It's not so much sex that I miss, but now that I've lost weight, I seem to miss the companionship a relationship would bring. I want to be inportant to someone. I want someone to care about me and treat me special. Others talk about how men are now eye balling them. I don't know if I am so used to not paying attention to things like that or what, but I don't notice it. Maybe I just give off the vibes that I'm not interested, I don't know. Maybe I'm still just scared. Actually I probably wouldn't even know how to act on a date. I work out at Curves, which I have preferred because of my size and embarassment. But now I'm thinking after I have the reconstructive surgerym I might join the YMCA and work out there. A part of me is scared a man might notice me and part of me is scared he might not. Gee, do you think I have a few issues to deal with. Any suggestions? By the way I'm 48, with a college degree, intelligent and at least fairly attractive.

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