I really need help with <u>my eating problem</u>: all or nothing.

Hi, everyone. I have discovered that I'm on the brink of messing up this wonderful gift I've been given, and I don't know if I can stop myself. Let me explain.<br> I am 6 months post-op, started at 227, 5'1", BMI of 42. I have lost 65 lbs. and am 30 lbs. from goal (but would like to lose about 45 more), and am very grateful for that. My weight loss has slowed down to the point of stopping, and I'm afraid it's going to stay the same or go up because of what's happening with me. One of the reasons why my weight is at a virtual standstill is that i've been eating the wrong things. My problem is actually threefold. See, <b><u>I rarely dump.</b></u> I can eat most things without dumping (had a brownie today, in fact), and although I still experience the restriction portion of the surgery, the fact that I don't have that negative feedback of dumping on the wrong things is really getting me in trouble. <br> My second problem is I work in a law office where we have a lot of food around <b>all the time</b>. At our firm, i work on the floor that has the conference rooms/kitchens, and the attorneys are constantly ordering lunch for clients and meetings. The leftovers (which are plentiful and daily) get passed on to the employees. Plus, there is the Friday morning breakfast that many of us participate in (bagels and the like), and there are also many food parties for the various holidays, plus floor luncheons. I can be honest and say the fact that I couldn't say "no" when food was offered to me pre-op was the majority of the reason why i was MO in the first place (I believe it goes way back to my early childhood when i was neglected by mother, and ended up eating cat food when she left me to fend for myself many times). I thought the combination of the dumping syndrome and the physical restriction would really work for me, but i began to try small bits of items that weren't good-choice foods, and began to realize that i could "get away with it." That's set up a nasty cycle for me.<br> Don't get me wrong - <u>i'm not completely out of control.</u> In fact, i can really go either way on food: i can go all day and forget to eat (usually on the weekends), or i just eat all the wrong things, even when i plan my day out nutritionally and bring in my lunch/snacks. In fact, it seems to me that i when i plan out my day and make a conscious effort to remember to eat, <b>it backfires on me and makes me obssess about food.</b> if i could get away with not eating during the day, or possibly just focusing on three meals, i might be okay, but there is constant emphasis (from my doctor, and the wls community) to eat several small meals throughout the day. this leads to endless temptation with my work situation<br> I should point out that I have an appointment to see a psychologist in about two weeks, and I plan on trying to get counseling for this, but I want to hear from others who may be experiencing this very thing. About a year ago, i was assigned to do a project in college about bulimia, and in my research, discovered so many similarities between myself and the women and men who suffer from this syndrome. In fact, i found another eating disorder which almost exactly mimics bulimia, with no purge cycle, only bingeing. Again, I plan on taking this information further by visiting a mental health professional, but really would like to hear from others who found they needed further help besides the surgery, <b>especially those who dump very little or not at all</b>, and any practical solutions/self-help you've discovered. Thanks in advance for your help!(Open PROXIMAL RNY, 7/7/03, 5'1", 227/162/132)

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