4.5 wks post-op and I feel like such a loser...not in the good way, either!

I'm 4.5 weeks post-op and feel like such a failure. I've only lost 20 lbs (been going back and forth on the same 2-3 lbs.), and I know I'm not working the tool as well as I should, BUT...i'm still so discouraged. I see so many others who lose at least 30 lbs. the first month, but i feel that it may be because i had a proximal open RNY. The surgeon I chose was the only one in our area (and a really good one, too), but he ONLY does proximal, so i really didn't have a choice. i'm a lightweight as well (starting out at 227, 5'1", 43 BMI), and I know that plays a role, but i see other lightweights losing more than I am and it makes me upset. Plus, the amount i can eat at one time really tends to fluctuate: sometimes i surprise myself with how much i can eat, and other times it only takes 5 bites of something else before i'm TOO full and have to make a hasty "withdrawal" at the nearest toilet. i guess what i'm rambling on and on about it i didn't think i'd have to buckle down and begin exercising in order to lose weight...especially when i'm only consuming anywhere from 400-800 calories a day and my body needs only 1600+ calories per day at it's resting basal metabolic rate to maintain my weight. HOW CAN I NOT BE LOSING WEIGHT??? I guess i don't always buy the "starvation mode" theory --- look at the people in third world countries who get about the same calories a day and how skinny THEY are!?! And i'm not losing clothing sizes or inches, either. i am fitting loosely into the same clothing size i went to the hospital in, and the pictures i took today at the same angles as i did 4.5 weeks ago show no real significant change. i feel really depressed, dejected, and like a total failure. i have no one else to turn to and need some words of encouragement or advice from anyone who can relate. :o( (OPEN RNY proximal; 7/7/03, 226.6/206.2/133.0)

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