I feel like a loser and not in the good way? 80-100more lbs to go

Ok peers-I think you may need to let me have it and I am prepared for it. I am a culinary school student and my goal with that is to provide delicious healthy food to the masses-I cook food all day on Wednesdays and I don;t even touch any of the stuff I am making, but anyways. Yesterday I had a protein shake for breakfast Atkins Vanilla, whisch I dirnk every morning to get me started that has 170 calories, then for a snack about 2 1/2 hrs later I had mini protein bar with 120 cals and 10 grams of protein, atkins shake had 20 grams of protein-then when I came home from school around 4:30 I had about 3/4-to maybe 1 cup of ground turkey breast and vegetable chili with 1 tbsp of light sour cream, original serving allows for 2 tbsp, and then I had about 2, maybe 3 pinches of Veggie Shreds Cheese-About an hour or so later I did my Taebo Ultimate Upper Body workout for 45 mins and thought I was going to die he did like quadruple double time, the day before I did my Walk away the pounds 4 mile tape. Okay so after I did the tape I decided that I was going to make some sugar free brownies from scratch and they came out delicious-2 delicious. For dinner which was around 9:30 I had 2 small grilled chix breast tenders and about 1 handful or 12 crinkle cut baked french fries with veggie cheese again sprinkled on top-it took me about 20-25 minutes to eat that(Was I grazing) I was full after I ate the one chix finger and three french fries but was like ok I know this isn;t enough food for someone at 11 mos out and down 143 lbs. Then around 12:30am I got hungry again and had about 1/2 cup of that turkey chili with veggie cheese and 1 tbsp of light sour cream-Somewhere around 2 in the morning or so I went and had that sugar free brownie 2 thin ones which prob equated to one regular size brownie, not the supersixed reg ones either, just a typical square. I woke up this morning with my muscles extremely sore from my workout and I feel like a total failure for eating that damn brownie when I know I am trying to lose another 80-100lbs and I've given myslef about 9 mos to do so-what is wrong with me-I don;t want to throw the brownies out cause the sugar free choc to make them was 16 dollars a pound and I bought a pound, and also because I made then so I can enjoy them as a snack. I don;t know if I am trippin because I ate the brownie so late would have been better to enjoy one during the day or earlier in the evening or not to have enjoyed one at all-Should I just chalk up the cost it took to make them and throw them away, or should I freeze half, my mom has been eating them too because I said they are damned good-and I may want another one-but I feel so freaking horrible about eating them-The past few days I have been splurging on sugar free treats since I started my exercising but I was calculating that even with the splurges I was only getting maybe 1300 cals and I think I overcalculate sometimes if i don't know the cal intake for something-I was figuring I burnest at least 400-500 cals during my workouts-Should I be feeling guilty. Should I be taking in more cals since I usually eat between 1100-1300 and now working out again I am burning off like 400-500 of those. I know if my body thinks i;m starving I won;t lose weight and I HAVE to lose another 80-100 lbs to get to my own personal goal of 135 I'm 5'6 and weigh 236 right now-Did i screw everyhting up-What should I do- I am also starting to have late night cravings again and usually go for sf popsicles-should I start chugging protein shakes before bed I did notice that it made me not wake up and want anything-when I do actual food protein that doesn;t always work, but protein shakes or bars seem to kill the craving monster at tnightime- anybody there with any advice-Please Help me- I need to lose that 100 lbs-Love Tori

We greatly appreciate your interest in helping us build our Q&A database. To discourage vandals from posting garbage, however, we require people to register before posting.

You must be logged in to post an answer. Click here to log in.