Am I the only one who baths and dresses in the dark?

I AM IN THE PROCESS OF DOING MY PRE-OP LAB TESTS AND X-RAYS. I HOPE TO HAVE SURGERY IN THE NEXT MONTH. I AM NOT SCHDULED YET. HOWEVER, MY SELF-ESTEEM HAS HIT AN ALL TIME LOW. I BEGAN BATHING AND DRESSING IN THE DARK SO LONG AGO THAT I DON'T REMEMBER. SINCE I WENT FOR MY INITIAL CONSULTATION WITH MY SURGEON, MY LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND SHEER EMBARRASSMENT OF MY 230 EXCESS POUNDS HAVE OVERWHELMED ME. FOR THE PAST 2.5 WEEKS, IT HAS BEEN SUCH A BATTLE JUST TO GO TO CHURCH. I FEEL SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF SUDDENLY. DO YOU THINK IT WAS AT LAST STEPPING ON THE SCALES AND ACTUALLY SEEING THE NUMBERS SKYROCKET. I HAD ESTIMATED MY WEIGHT BEFORE GOING AND I HIT IT JUST ABOUT ON THE HEAD, SO IT WASN'T AS IF ANYTHING WAS A SHOCK TO ME. I AM JUST SO TIRED OF ANALYZING MY FEELINGS, THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS. HELP SOMEONE.... PLEASE ..........

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