Not adjusting to having band removed

I am having a horrible time with hunger pains after having to have my band removed. Long story....I LOVED my band and since it has had to be removed, I can't cope with life. everything sets me off, even though I am still taking my anti-depressants. I am ALWAYS hungry again. I wake up at all hours of the night starving, I can't do this again. I was so succesful with the band and now have gained almost 25 lbs back in just a little over 6 weeks. I know i am still down 105, but I put everything I had into making the band work. Now because incompetent doctors wouldn't listen to me, I am headed back to where i started. The depression is killing me. Being unable to work for almost 3 months, the medical bills, now im behind on everything almost 3 months, I can't cope. Im ready to loose my house, my business and everything that we have worked for for so long. We are on a very strict budget and have always made it work, but I feel like I am drowning, I could care less about the bill collectors feelings, but I hate that my kids are taking the brunt of this. I love my family more than anything, they are the reason why I did the surgery in the first place, I was tired of being the fat mom, and tired of feeling embarrassed for my family every time we were out in public together. I want to be A NORMAL size again, I was so close and now I feel like once again...just when I was so close to having something go my way, Ijust got kicked to the ground again. I can't accept this, every attorney I have contacted either was too busy, or they didn't think that the case would be worth their time. basically they are telling me it isn't a multi million dollar suit, so they arent interested, besides, there is only one chain of hospitals here in our area and pretty much through out the whole state, so how do i know who is not afraid to go against the only health care facilities in our state. Besides, I can't wait until a suit could or couldn't be over with, I HAVE to find a way to get my band back asap. Im sorry if I seem like a whiner, but, dang it....I can't take any more. the stress is killing me, literally. when there are days i just feel like checking out permanantly, I thank god that i have my family, great kids and a supportive husband.....like I say, I 'd like to graduate from the school of hard knocks, I think that I have my masters by now, just give me a few years sabatical, and then I will go for the doctorate, but I've been in this school for 38 yrs....when is enough, enough... thanks all, and I know that "life really is beautiful" i just need time to be able to see the beauty again...

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