3 Yr post op and struggleing with weight gain, help?

First of all, I don't want made fun of.......My surgery was Sept 16, 2002. I did lose 90 lbs but now I am back up 40 lbs. I know that I am not watching what I eat, I haven't taken my vitamins for a long time and I go to Curves every once and a while. Yes, I know I am doing wrong. I am having a hard time coming out of this. What I do want to know is, IS There any hope for me? Anyone out there Been there done that? What got you back in gear? How can I get myself pumped up enough to diet again? Can I lose weight again? Give me some tips on what I should do first. I haven't been to my dr for almost a year, I'm afraid to go back. I DO WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT and get to where I was and even more.......but I just can't get myself to do it. I need some desperate help. I am human and I make lots of mistakes. I don't want hollared at, I can go to my dr to hear that. I need some real help. Give me some steps to follow and do. I am growing out of my clothes and I don't want to buy a bigger size. I am not happy at all. I guess I am really depressed. I do have anti-depr. pills from the dr but I can't afford them every month so I don't take them. I am no pill taker. I have a hard time with that. It is not because I can't swallow them, its because I forget to take them. Can you help me? Have you been there anyone, or is it just me?

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