Does anyone have any advise?

About 6 months ago I confessed to my fiance how disgusting I felt in my fat body. I really broke down. I told him really personal things that really embarassed me. I told him I wanted to have the gastric bypass surgery. He didn't want me to have it done. I told him I was going to whether he wanted me to or not. Now, he does not ask any questions about it. He's shut me out. He's started staying out late and not letting me know where he is, when he knows how much I worry. He never acts happy to see me anymore. We've almost broken up twice. I love him so much but I don't feel like I deserve this. Part of me wants to just lose weight so I can be thin, then find a different man. I realize he is insecure. He is overweight a little. I'm afriad that after the surgery he will be more rotten to me then he is now. I guess I'm just afraid to be alone right now, I really need someone by my side through all of this. Does anyone have any ideas?

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