Is it the weight loss?

My husband and I have been having problems since he got drunk and wrecked his truck in October, ever since then we have been arguing. I had gastric bypass in January and since then have lost 135 pounds, I weigh what I weighed when we met. Anyway, he moved out to his mom's house a week ago, stayed 2 days then came back. Then on Wednesday he moved out again and friday announced he didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. Now, if you know my husband and I , this is a huge SHOCK!!!!!! We always got along pretty well, just the basic marriage problems. Now, he says he couldn't make me happy for years, and no matter what he does he can't make me happy. He became very controlling lately as well. He also went into the computer and looked up my history too see the websites I had visited. He found out that the first time he left I had a pop-up come up for match.com and I clicked on it, not that I was looking, but i was just curious as too what was going to be out there for a single mother of 2. He said he was very hurt by it. Also, we took out a loan so I could have my plastic surgery and he went along with it, saying he would take off work and everything, then at Thanksgiving he had a change of heart and said I looked fine without it and the money could be put to better use. I aske dhim if maybe he needed some time and he said his mind is made up, and he has been happy without me. He is satying with his parents, and if i get an attorney I know that he will be living there for a very LONG time. I can't believe he is doing this, we have 2 kids, 3 and 5, and I cannot believe he would walk out and leave us right before Christams, it is SOOOOO out of character for him. I cannot believe it's happening to me! My friend thinks it's because I have lost wieght and he is now insecure about it, I asked him and he said no, but she said he won't admit it! She said maybe he is doing it subconciously. I asked him repeatedly if tehre is someone else and he said no! He made it pretty clear that he doesn't want this marriage anymore, but do you think it has anything to do with the weigth loss? I am really searching for a reason for it all. He says we have to be cicil with each other, but when I see him he seems to have so much hostility towards me, not that he says mean things, but he is really short with his words, like he is the one being dumped. People say he is dumping me before I dump him. He has made comments that I use him for money and I am self centered, that kind of makes me think that's why he didn't want me too have the surgery, maybe he thought if he paid I'd only stay with him long enough to get it done and then leave him after? My friend says all the comments about "it's always about you!" and using him for his money are his ways of trying to undermine my self confidence. I just am so lost as to what the hell just happend to my marriage? He says he has felt this way for probably a year (I had my surgery Jan 6 2003) and he tried working on it himself, without telling me his feelings mind you. He refuses to go to counseling, I begge dhim to come back, he told me I couldn't change over night. He told me he doesn't knwo me anymore. What do you guys think? I am so worried about my future. I love him and want him back, yet I need to accept that he has his mind made up. Where will I ever find a man that would want me, divorced with 2 kids!? I just wish he would regret his decision and come back, but do I want him back really, after all he said????

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