I need help from all of the spouses out there!

Hi all. Usually my posts are upbeat and happy, but tonight I don't think this one will be. Here's the story. I'm 9 days post-op and have been hungry, and I do mean HUNGRY, the entire time. My husband, who initially thought surgery wasn't a good idea, came around to see and accept that having this surgery was my best, and truly ONLY, option at this point. Now to backtrack... We have always had a great physical relationship. He has never had a problem with my weight. He is in the military so he has to be in shape. His only concern was about my future health, but he NEVER pushed the issue. He's always told me that he thinks I'm beautiful and how much he loves me. In short, he has been the perfect husband when it comes to my being overweight. Once he agreed with me about the surgery, he was always very supportive --- VERBALLY. By this I mean that he has never actually done any research on Gastric Bypass and the life after. He does not initiate conversations with me about the surgery. The closest he came was when he asked me, "Can you eat that?" (I don't remember what THAT was now.) Yes, he did ask me if I was "ok" during the first few days home, but I got to the point where I felt like if I said "yes" that he would say "great!" and go do something else; and if I would say "no" he would want to find the 5-minute fix for whatever was bothering or hurting me. I've told him before, I don't want him to FIX it; I just want him to LISTEN. I want him to CARE. I want him to GET INVOLVED. I feel that he's not involved in what's going on with me other than superficially. Case in point - tonight we went shopping. We had agreed before the surgery that there wouldn't be any more junk food in the house (he has a sweet tooth). As we checked out, I noticed the package of peanut butter & chocolate Oreos (a pre-op fav) being slid onto the conveyor belt. I felt betrayed. I was upset. Was I wrong to feel this way? Is it normal to want to cry over FOOD??? We've talked about these things, and honestly I don't know what to tell him when he asks how to actually "get involved". Sit down and eat 1/4 cup of food with me for each meal? That's not fair, I know. Eat in the garage? Also not fair. Do some homework on this whole GBS thing? Yes, that would help. PLEASE, any spouses out there with any ideas that I can pass along to my husband to help him get involved so that I don't feel like I'm going at this alone, tell me what you did! I'm sorry to be so long-winded, but it's a complicated, emotional thing. Thanks so much :). SuzAnne in Utah

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