How do I stop being so self destructive???

I'm 21 months post op and down about 125 pounds(320-190ish.) I've always taken great pride in being big and bawdy and flirty. Now that I'm a more "normal" weight, when I go out to clubs or bars, several men now give me attention that I dreamed about getting when I was heavier-especially after so many years of watching my thinner friends get it for so long, it feels so... powerful, you know? The problem is that now it seems that I'm almost addicted to getting the attention and getting hit on and flirted with. In fact my NEED for this kind of attention has over the past two months gotten me in several positions where -to put it delicately- a (otherwise happily) married woman should not be. I'm completely guilt-ridden and ashamed afterward and promise that I will control myself "next time" but it's like I'm "bingeing" on the attention. When I decide to stay home and not go out, I revert to my old eating habits, bingeing on junk. I've been married for 10 years and my husband is a great guy who has loved me throughout. He knows I'm a flirt and has no problem with other men finding me attractive and flirting back, (though he has no idea about the other stuff) but it's gotten to a point where I feel like I prefer the outside attention to his - which is beginning to scare the hell out of me. I've been recently diagnosed as depressed and am currently taking Paxil CR and going to a shrink to get to the root of this, but this self- destructive behavior is just killing me in the meantime. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm so ashamed of myself - It's like I have to "feed" on something, attention, food, whatever. Can I stop this hateful behavior? PLEASE help me family, I normally don't post unless I'm desperate, and trust me, I AM. Thanks for listening.

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