Where is my will power? Why can't I get it back after WLS?

Sorry, this is going to be long! About 2 years ago I went on Meridia (the weight loss drug). I was one of the few people who it worked for & lost 90 LBS. on it. I was so happy with myself, had such a good attitude towards my diet ,exercise & everything else for that matter. I was almost like a differnt person! Believe it or not, I was the one trying to convince people to come exercise with me. When I went out to dinner with my friends, they were all ordering things that weren't so good for them. I was always the one ordering fish, make sure there is no butter on it, salads, hold the dressing, at birthday parties, no thanks on the cake, making sure I get the water in, etc. My friends were so impressed on how much control & will power I had over this. Obviously, I built up a resistance to Meridia (as they report does happen) & gained ALL of the weight back & then some. I am a little over one week post-op RNY & cannot seem to find that same motivation I had before with the Meridia! You would think I would be thrilled to have this opportunity to lose the weight AGAIN. I've all ready lost about 11 LBS. It's almost like a gaurentee to lose it! Some people say that Meridia is very similar to an anti-depressant is that maybe why I was so motivated? This is really starting to make me upset I can't seem to bring the old me back. I keep saying I'm going to take a little walk just to start out & never end up doing it. I can't seem to stand water now & wake up every morning saying I will do my best to try to get all the water in for that day. I never end up doing it. What is the problem? Do you think I will get it back once I start losing the weight more? Anyone else had a similar experience? Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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