Introducing myself and I need help!

Hi everyone,

I had RNY in Oct 2008 and got lost 170 pound VERY quickly.  I had lots of trouble eating in the beginning and almost displayed some anorexic type behavior.  Anyway, I maintained for some time. Then had a shock when my husband tried to commit suicide (I found him, resusciatated him ect).

Anyway, long story short... while he was in the hospital, I spent some time back in the states with my mom (needed to get away from home and I knew he was in good hands in the hospital).  After returning, my stress level was through the roof.  I was constantly in fear he would try something again.  I started eating to comfort myself.  (this was Spring, '10)  I am now spiraling out of control.  I eat simple carbs, I am drinking wine, and I am drinking with my meals.  I know what I'm doing wrong.  I discuss myself beyond belief.  I have gained nearly 30 pounds back in the last year.  My size 12s are getting to tight, and I am scared that I am going to sabatoge all the good I've done for myself.

I live in Austria, I don't have access to all the wonderful high protein bars, snacks ect. that you all do. I do, however, have some protein powder left from before and am thinking of trying the 5 day pouch test to get off the carbs.  They are without a doubt a HUGE addiction for me.....  

Any words of help would be most appreciated.  PLEASE do not flame me..... you can't possibly make me feel any worse than I already do.

Thanks in advance
Linda

Hi Linda!  I just wanted to say welcome to you and that I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to go through what you have experienced.  It sounds like you are a very strong and determined person  You have gone through a lot, but you have not given up, and that in itself is an accomplishment.  I have been away from the boards for a long, long time but I am returning here because the support here is absolutely amazing....so, you are in the right place.  I truly missed communicating with everyone and sharing ideas, suggestions, etc.  I am going to try really hard to check it at least once every evening.  I am wishing you much success in your journey towards being more healthy.  I am also wishing that your husband continues to get the help that he needs.

Debby/Hope101

Thanks Debby for your kind words.  I'll tell you, it felt good to just post that I'm struggling.  I know what I'm doing wrong, and essentially I know what I need to do to fix it.  It's the admitting it and doing something about it that are so difficult. 

It's nice to just not feel alone.  The first thing I'm doing... is cutting simple carbs and wine and going to stop drinking diet coke again.  It doesn't feel good in my pouch and yet I do it??!!  Why????  I'M trying to figure this out. 

Anyway, I'll keep checking in as well and thank you again for your reply. 

Hubby is doing well by the way.  Unfortunately, still working only part time, (this of course adds another source of stress).  But, he is being compliant with meds and therapy and taking care of himself and that's the most important thing for me.

Wishing you the very best!
Linda

You are definitely not alone, Linda.  I could probably write a best seller about how to eat healthy and exercise.  Like you said, we all know what to do, but it is the doing part that we struggle with.  It seems like you have a plan that is smart and very doable!  You can do it!!!

Hi Linda
This is a wonderful group for support and ideas without being attacked.  Most of us still have to lose just about like you.

My dietitian has me eating a well balanced diet.  I am very hungry though.  So recently I have been trying to eat only 50 gms of carbs a day and not more than 10 gms of carbs per meal and it is helping with the hunger issue a little.  In the long run though it doesn't seem practical to me because it really only allows for veggies and protein.  Right now though it is ok for a little while. 

I find this far out from surgery liquid proteins just go right through.  It is like drinking with a meal.  So I eat just solid protein and vegetables at mealtime and just the solid protein for a couple of snacks.  Again I don't think this is a long term solution but I just want to start losing a little faster.  I find it is easier to get off carbs when they are out of the house or limited.  I have no junk in the house but I have to keep fruit, milk and whole wheat grain products in the house for my husband.  They aren't as tempting as sweets and chips though.

About the wine...I read on line that the primarily protein (Adkins type) diet so many of us are on makes us burn fat because of ketosis.  When we drink alcohol, it is easier to burn alcohol than the fat and we use up the alcohol first.  It isn't until the alcohol is cleared that we begin burning fat again.  This is why so many people have trouble losing when they drink.

As far as emotional eating...I have learned over the years that problems don't go away when I eat.  They still remain.  We need to find some other way to deal with life's issues besides food.  Some people exercise to deal with stress.  Some problems have solutions and then some simply don't.  We can't change some things.  Sometimes I say a prayer for the problems because there is nothing else I can do.  It helps a little too.

I am glad you found this nice group of people that can support you.  By the way I was in Austria (Vienna) many years ago.  What a beautiful country!

Just me

Thanks Just me!

Finding a way to deal with the emotional eating is one of the hardest.  Especially when many stressful things happen at once!!

I'm glad I found this site, there are alot of very kind people here.

That's great you had the opportunity to visit Vienna.  It is truly a beautiful country here, and I'm glad I get to live here....  Lots of incredible hiking experiences!!

Very best wishes to you!!
Linda

Hi Linda...im glad you posted, I also have had a lot to deal with lately and am emotional eating, and not keepin my self accountable. Today I start again. I just put in my first journal entry and am dusting off the Elliptical.  Lets DO IT !! We didn't get that surgery for nuthin....

Hi Linda, I do understand stress eating and picking up old habits.  Hope all gets better with family life so it will get better with food.  I have allow lifes stressors to delay and derail me on a few occasions but haven't given up.  Protein shakes do help.  Have your mom send you some bars or order them online.  Do whatever it takes to take care of you, then you can help your family. 
Take care,
Z

I completely understand and i am in the same boat. I had my surgery June 2005 and my clothes are tight and I feel like crap. I am going back to support group and coming back to OH. It has helped alot. I need to take of 25 pounds and alot of bad habits to break...but we CAN do it..I'll be your rock if you can be mine!