I Think I Figured Out Why I am So Down

I was thinking about it today and I started thinking about all the things I have had to give up over the years, mainly due to my abuse of them.
In 1980 I quit drugs and alcohol.
In 2002 I quit gambling.
In 2010 I quit sugar, overeating, bread, wheat, refined carbs, gluten and caffeine.
Four weeks ago I quit smoking.
I am 54 and sex isn't as fun as it used to be.
Basically I have given up all my old coping mechanisms and at least so far I haven't replaced them with anything healthy.
No wonder I am such a mess.  I could enter a convent.  If I wasn't Jewish.
All my recreational vices are gone.  All that is left is my internet addiction.  And that looks shaky at times.  No wonder I don't have any friends.  I am duller then an old knife.  I am a good designated driver, though.
On a brighter note, I saw my counselor yesterday and told her how I felt.  She apologized and told me that she suffers from sleep apnea (she is MO).  She won't use a CPAP so she is tired all the time.  I certainly understand how that is.
I do feel like the visit was more productive yesterday and I think it's going to work out.  I am glad because God knows I hate trying to find a counselor.
Thanks to all who gave me such support the other day.  It really did help pull me out of myself.

 You should take up running.  It's free and supposedly a healthy addiction.  I've tried it but never enjoyed it.  Just an idea.  Anyway, it's nice to see you are doing better!

Running is on my list of goals to meet.  I try, but gosh I can only run a little bit at a time.  There are those on this site who are older than I, have lost more weight and are successful runners now.  My daughter says I can't do so well because I try to run in 1970s style tennis shoes not meant for running.  They are perfectly good tennis shoes, but I have to admit no one is wearing that style any more.

I think I know a little about how you're feeling, and I'm realizing myself that I have a bit of the same feeling of trying to find something as an outlet.

I never smoked, hardly drink, don't use drugs, don't gamble, and am trying to keep eating healthy.  I've been doing a pretty good exercise routine, but have now developed tendonitis that's putting a damper on it.  So I too am trying to figure out what my outlet should be so I don't slip into bad habbits.

I don't have any answers; I just wanted to let you know I'm in a similar boat.

Oh Tazz, you made me laugh this morning and I needed that.  I don't know what I would do without the garden in the good weather and the ponies year round.  Having to be away from them has been touture.  I do like this new gym/pool and I can work that for a while to work off some stress and steam. 

I'm glad the second visit with the counselor went better.  I think school will help and if you can keep seeing her and riding your bike, maybe things will be better by the time school starts.

I am so glad you shared your feelings with her.  That would have been something I probably would not have been able to conquer and would be out looking for a new therapist.  What you did was soooooo much healthier, emotionally.

I to quit drugs, alcohol and smoking all in October 1981.  I have not as much has touched those 3 since.  I won't even allow myself alcohol in the house to cook with.  I can pinpoint the day I know realized I turned to food as my coping mechanism....many, many years ago.

I don't gamble, but I do day trade the stock market, but I am a very disciplined trader.  I know some people make it a gambling habit, but for me, thankfully, it really is all about investing in our financial future.  There are days/weeks where I do not trade.  Since I cannot drive and do not work, I sincerely believe this was my answer to many, many years of crying out to God to have something productive in my life. 

I am so glad your session went well yesterday.
Anna

Glad to hear you are gaining some insight.
Hang in there Tazz!
Glad your session went better. Its hard not to be heard.

So glad you spoke to your therapist, Tazz.  Sleep apnea and/or insomnia can be wicked.

Sounds like you had a goOd session yesterday. I think you could have fun with the nuns!!! Made me laugh, too!

Meg

Enlightenment can be a wonderful yet scary thing.  It helps me though to at least identify what I am feeling and why.....I can then handle the emotions better.  SOOOO many of us regulated our emotions with food and other "things"....this helped us once but not so much now.  Learning new ways to cope is a process....I know I am in the midst of it too.

The therapy should help and keep on trucking on!

~jennifer