WAAAAAHHHHH! ;(

You will be happy to know I spent an hour with my BFF the treadmill tonight. Feeling better already. I told my husband I am going to have to make the world stop and do this everyday or I get in a rutt. I am really missing my mother and grandmother right now. 1st year without my mother here for Christmas. She is in NJ taking care of grandma. My brother left for Japan the end of October and my other brother passed away when I was 15. Ist year I don't have any of my family around me. Truly be very depressed lately. Feeling much better since I exercised tonight. Hopefully over the threshhold.

I'm just 15 months out so I haven't had much trouble staying in the 112-115 range.  I like 115 better but it is very scarey for me.  I don't have any suggestions, just hugs.  Holidays are stressful for many and it sounds like you have lots of reasons to be stressed. Maybe the treadmill or some yoga tapes would help you destress.

Love my treadmill. Life has been getting in the way of our relationship. lol

You have gone through a lot of stress in the past few weeks.  And it would not be unusual that the grief over your brother would be triggered by the deaths of two young boys (prayers to those parents for sure!!).  I know for me, when I am not taking good care of myself, that I then turn to food to self medicate.  I think we each have to find good ways to self care.  What would feel good for YOU??  For me it is exercising regularly, getting to sleep in on the weekends, taking time to read, etc.  Sit down and give yourself a moment to think....what would feel GOOD for me? 

You can do this.....you have DONE amazing......

One day at a time....

Blessings to you!!

~~Jennifer

I decided to take everyone's advice I turned to my best friend since surgery...my treadmill. Just spent an hour with my BFF. Feeling the endorphines kicking in already. I will get a good nights sleep and maybe have a new perspective in the morning. Dear daughter has a dentist appointment in the morning. We are going shopping afterwards. Getting excited!~ I just have to dig my heals in the mud and make time for myself everyday. I HAVE TO. I didn't for years and years and this is how I got in this mess. I will not go there again. Hubby told me tonight whatever it takes for me to be happy he is willing to do it. He can't take it when I am this sad. I have to have my ME time with the treadmill or I am ill as a pill.