Mom as seen by my kids (grown-up)

This has been a wonderful journey for me.  I feel like I am becoming myself again.  I'm 10 months out and doing well.  I'm still 20 pounds from goal and have been the same weight for several months.  I'm so happy with my progress that I'm just not beating myself up over these last 20 pounds (although I probably should).

I've struggled with my weight my entire adult life, but I haven't been obese my whole life.  When I let obesity and morbid obesity overtake me, I didn't realize how it impacted my personality and so many facets of my life. I really did a mental number on myself that others didn't see.

I've got two sons who are grown and on their own.  I see them a few times a month and talk often.  I've been disappointed that they haven't been commenting on my changes.  Turns out, they never saw me as their "fat mom" or their "obese mom".  That was in my head.  They just see me as Mom.  The mom I am today is the mom they remember from their childhood.  They are glad that I am happier and healthier, but this whole weight issue has been mine not theirs.  I guess the important part is that I don't see myself as their "fat mom" now, and my feelings aren't hurt about my perceptions of their lack of support. They've always loved me, even when I was having trouble loving myself. 

I'm a very lucky girl!

These head issue are tough.  Once again ... the WLS is on the tummy, not on your head. 

Kay

Although my kids are young they never saw me as fat either only Mommy... My sister even said the same thing, I never saw you that way... All MY brain and not theirs... Congrats you are doing great! 

What great sons! But they had a great mom!

Congrats on your success and give those boys a big hug!

Isnt the mental part of this so hard? Glad to know I am not alone.

Wow, I thought it was just me. I never wanted to be the "fat Mom". But guess what, I was the "fat Mom". I didn't like going to my kids school functions, their friends, my husbands job functions, etc. When I decided to do this surgery, I announced that I wouldn't be the "fat Mom" anymore and they looked at me like I am crazy. They said, no one sees you as the "fat Mom" but you. My friends love you and we do too. No one calls you the "fat Mom". I have to admit that I didn't accept it. I thought their friends just talked about them behind their back and not to their face. LOL It's nice to no that someone else felt like the "fat Mom". Isn't it nice to know that your kids never saw you that way!

You sound like a great Mom!!  I know that  they are happy and proud of you no matter what your size, you can just tell.  You raised some good kids there!

My daughter (4 yrs old) does not remember me as obese at all.  We watched a dvd of when she was a baby and she said, "Mom, I can hear you but where ARE you???"  I said, "that's me honey, I used to be bigger".  She was insistent that I was wrong and there was no way that was me!!  So funny!!  I had this surgery mainly b/c of her.  I wasn't obese my whole live either and knew I couldn't be the Mom that could not do things like ski, ice skate, or run with her... I wanted to enjoy life and make new memories WITH her... and WLS has allowed me to do that.

God bless Mom's!!! :)

Very interesting.  I alway thought I was the fat mom, sister, aunt, etc.  And I was but now I wonder if I was thought of like that or if it was just me.  Hummmmmmm

Y'know Price, my siblings have not seen me during my "fat" years.  I did talk to one sister about my WLS and she said, "You're kidding, right?  You were ALWAYS the skinny one!"  When they see me again they'll never know anything was amiss, so I must remember not to expect kudos of any kind.  It's just not a big thing to other people like it is to the person whose head is going through it. 

What we see and think is so far off from what people who care about us see.  I know I am super hard on myself---but as a result of taking charge of myself I have become super hard on others too.  (Though I don't dare say 99% of it).  I know growing up as the fat kid, the fat friend, the one who missed out on so much has made me think that everyone sees me this way..but I tell you it's a great day when you realize that there are people who love you for you.  Even I still have a hard time grasping that...I always assume its because I'm not that 'fat' person anymore that they accept me.

I have had people refuse my ID, I have had my daughter friend (never met me) that can't be your mom shes so young and pretty.  BUT my brain is just definitely setup for the rejection b/c I received it my entire life.  Good luck and enjoy these moments.