It's working...But I should be happy.

Not the Same Dawn
on 9/25/08 10:26 pm - BEE EFF EEE, CA
Okay. So I've been staying at 122 for over a year. I hit below goal in June 2007. MY goal was 125. I know that. I have to get alittle more weight. I'm not healthy..

I got the Wii on MOnday and I've been working on it slowly. Balance exercises, yoga, some aerobics (hula hoop) and stuff like that. Working my core (ab muscles) but nothing to really build muscle. 15 minutes at a time...up to 20 minutes.

Last week Iweighed 123.6 (I'm pretty sure).

Well, today I weigh 125.2...The highest I've weighed since June 2007. Why am I not happy? Why is this bothering me? Is thisit? Am I headed up to obese or MO? When the Wii told me I gained 1.4 pounds in four days I was shocked...A bit dismayed and maybe alittle freaked.

I know I encourage people on what they need to do to go up AND down but I'm numb right now.
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!

Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
Tracy B
on 9/25/08 11:17 pm - Erie, PA
It truly is a very scary thing! I know you know everything I'm about to say already, but here goes~that flux in 1.4lbs could have come from anything~water retention, time of the month, hormones, etc. You could very well jump on the Wii tomorrow and be back down that same 1.4lbs. So, besides adding the Wii in to your exercise routine, what have you changed? How was your week with eating? You are definitely  not headed back to being obese, but our minds can play such tricks on us! Anyway, just wanted you to know that I understand those feelings~you're always so helpful to everyone else so I hope we can help you thru these feelings.

~*~Tracy B~*~

328/160 *** 5'9"
start/current

Not the Same Dawn
on 9/26/08 12:38 am - BEE EFF EEE, CA
Thanks! Actually, the ONLY thing I've changed is the Wii...My lists have been about the same. Same calories (1600-2000) and protein the same (120-150)..Maybe the carbs have gone up alittle (added bread more times this week)...

You're right. MY mind is playing tricks on me. Why should I panic? That's 1.5 pounds of fat that was fat but might be muscle. Which is a good thing. Fat=bad. Muscle= GOOD...

I'll wrap my mind around it soon enough but thanks for the words of encouragement...That's what we're here for, right? sigh...it might be a long weekend for me.
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!

Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
ALESIA1966
on 9/26/08 12:11 am - New Bern, NC

Hey Dawn,

I think I read on one of your other posts that you are about 3 years out now...I had a very similar experience, my goal was 138, dropped to 120, gained back with serious changes in eating more real fat and carbs up to 125 all this in the 1st 18 months, settled in at 125 with a +/-3 fluctation until about 2 3/4 years, then with no other significant changes in my eating I started putting on a "few" lbs, at first I attributed it to the "holidays" , but even with adjustments I still didn't go back down, slowly up to about my 3 year mark I put on 10 lbs, to 135lbs...I actually look better (healthier & many of my clients tell me I less sickly - I think they have just gotten used to seeing me now) my weight settled nicely and my clothes sizes did not change one bit with the gain...

Anyway, I have been on and off obsessing about this 10 lbs, I was/am determined I was/am never going to let myself be M/O again...Overall I find I can live with this how it is now...I still have that +/-2 lb thing going on,  BUT, I know in my heart I'm winning my challenge...I eat right, exercise, and do not go crazy excessive anymore...I'm in a good place now, but can seriously relate to the insecurity of putting on weight and the fear that it won't just be a little...

So now I've gone on about me ALOT, but what I'm really trying to say to you is : You are living life and are generally in a happy place, I can tell this because I've read your words of motivation to others in many posts...You are doing a great job, don't let your mind play this trick on you, its like head hunger, you know its not real, you know you are better off with the added lbs...SO, talk yourself off the limb...YOU'RE doing awesome ...

 Alesia
 

Not the Same Dawn
on 9/26/08 12:42 am - BEE EFF EEE, CA
Yeah, I was two years out on July 11th this year so I'm over the two year mark. I thought after over 16 months of being the exact same weight, I could handle putting on a couple of muscle pounds and get some shape back into the equation...It's that inner voice that I need to shut up that's doing this. The one that is saying "Yeah, right...four days of Wii and that's MUSCLE? you gotta be kidding. YOU"RE FAT".  I thought that voice was dead but apparently the ***** is back..

I'll get it. Hopefully soon. My clothes still fit and I look good in a tube top...I'm staying home today from a sinus headache (probably from stress...I do that to myself). so maybe I'll have time to get over it...It's gonna be a long weekend. sigh.
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!

Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
Barbara C.
on 9/26/08 1:40 am - Raleigh, NC

(((Dawn))),

I'm only about 16 months out and I kept dropping below my goal, then started peddaling as fast as I could to stop the drop. It stopped and I gained back about 3-4 lbs. I have to say that I had the same thoughts in my head as you expressed. In my head I know that I look better with a bit more weight on me and I 'wanted' to gain some, but I have this nagging OMG! What if it doesn't stop?! tape that keeps running in my head.

I think that it's healthy to have some level of fear/concern about regain, but I think that some of the real work that I need to do and maybe you do to, is to find a healthy balance between concern and fear. I hope that we remain accountable to ourselves to ensure that we don't end up where we were. I tend to think that you will be fine and that the weight gain that you are experiencing is within norms and appropriate.

Try to be as gentle and supportive of yourself as you would be to me.

Hugs,

Barb

Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145

Not the Same Dawn
on 9/26/08 2:14 am - BEE EFF EEE, CA
Yeah, it's all part of the mental process, I guess. This was just a bump in the road and it brought me to my nagging inner voice again. I have a great support system with my dh and you guys on this message board. I bring my struggles here because I know you guys totally understand. dh doesn't but he tries really hard.

Today I'm cleaning the house like there's no tomorrow and NOT thinking about food at all. Or at least I'm trying. I've decided I need to really concentrate on water cuz I started my first 24 oz bottle (by now at work I've had two) and put it down and couldn't find it again for some time. LOL. Talk about mindless. I ate something (a snack) and now I have to wait a half hour to finish the first bottle. I'm behind. ha.

I think if I don't obesess over this stuff, I forget the rules completely...What a knucklehead.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm a work in progress. We're never going to be perfect but we keep moving in the general direction.
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!

Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
(deactivated member)
on 9/26/08 3:54 am
Dawn, I can soooo relate. I stayed at 125 for a few months. I started lifting weights and increased my workouts and BOOM, I was at 130. Now I've got arms like Arnold Schwartzenegger and I'm hovering around 135. My measurements are about the same, I'm wearing the same clothes, but I've gained about 10 pounds. It eats me up. My friend that owns a gym and is an expert on this stuff, tells me not to weigh, just eat right and exercise and let the rest take care of itself. I was too skinny at 125 anyway, but dang, I really liked it.
Not the Same Dawn
on 9/26/08 10:05 am - BEE EFF EEE, CA
Okay...I think I'll set a limit of 10 pounds up...That will be my limit so we'll see what happens. I want to increase my strength and tone up and get my balance back..Yoga and balance are the two main areas I'm working on so if I gain no more than 10 pounds of muscle, I should mentally be okay.

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I really needed it. I knew I could count on the Grads board to keep me on the right path..You guys ROCK!
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!

Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
cajungirl
on 9/26/08 4:31 am
Hi Dawn, I haven't posted here much lately but feel I need to come "home" so I'll be doing what I can to be involved with all you gals again.

As for the freaking out....it's a normal reaction because of the fear we will always have of this is only a dream and will end someday.

I'm sure this is a flucuation for you that will be ok.  Just stay on top of your choices and know that a little regain is normal for most.  I see more flucations at 3+ years out then I ever hoped to see.  However, I do stay on top of the weight and when it hits my max I refocus and make some changes.

Hang in there lady.

Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05

 9 years committed ~  100% EWL and Maintaining

www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com

 

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