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A couple of questions. Was he ever supportive of the surgery? Is he himself overweight or obese? If it is the later of the two sometimes the spouse feels like they are losing their eating partner.
Has your daughter talked to him about his recent behavior?
Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150
Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl
You know her best and how she will react. I used to buy that book for friends when they had weight loss surgery, but it used to cost about $20. I was surprised at how expensive it is now. I had my surgery in 2007 and found it very useful then.
I remember the head of our surgery center saying that it is possible to keep your marriage together after weight loss surgery but it is not always easy. Seeing a big change in your partner is very life changing for you too.
One day, my husband said that I was no longer the person her married. I said, "thank you". He said he did not mean it as a compliment. I told him that I did not work so hard to remain the person that he married.
Many men think that their new thin wife will attract attention from other men and might leave the marriage. And sometimes that does happen. There are emotional things going on and the couple has to work through them together.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
Thanks, White Dove. It is hard to watch but I care about them both so I will stay out of the middle, I want my "mom" relationship with her hubby to continue being a good one and she and I get along just great. I may suggest she read the book first, not sure.
I was sleeved on August 10, 2020, so it has been a little over 6 weeks as I write this, and I have only lost 16 pounds, barely 2 pounds per week. Anything is better than nothing, but this is pretty disappointing because I hear of so many people with dramatic weight gain post op.
I did lose 36 pounds before surgery over two and a half months, and I get that I may have used up some of the 'easy' weight loss then, but I ate so little after surgery (fasted for a day, then liquid diet for two weeks, then purees and the gradual introduction of more normal foods with an average daily caloric intake between 800 and 850 calories -- and I log everything). For the last month I have been exercising 4-5 times per week for at least 30 minutes, and reaching 10,000 steps some days even when I don't get to my treadmill (much more than I was exercising pre-surgery).
I recently discovered online that a drug I have been taking for neuropathy (amitriptyline) is linked to weight gain (wish a doctor had mentioned that earlier!) so I am tapering it off and I'm almost finished with it. That could be a factor too.
For what it's worth, I also have been extremely hungry. It feels just like it used to when I would lose a lot of weight, then start feeling abnormal levels of hunger.
I am determined to stay the course, hunger or no, but I almost want to cry when I hear of people "forgetting to eat" or "unable to take more than a few bites before they feel satisfied". Not my experience at all.
Any ideas anyone, or similar experiences?
Thanks, Selene
I'm going to ask what your daily meals look like. What are you eating and are you measuring stuff or just eyeballing. Honestly I wasn't eating 800 cals a day until almost 6 months out. It could be that you are eating more than you think.
What about fluids are you drinking enough?
As for the extreme hunger it very well could be an acid overload. Acid definitely mimic hunger.
Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150
Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl
+1 The "hunger" you feel is not really hunger, it's excess stomach acid. I assume you were prescribed a PPI, so this should diminish over time, although it may not go away entirely. When you feel a "growly" or "rumbling" stomach, drink extra fluid and it should go away.
Post WLS, what is a reliable cue that you need to eat? I suspect this varies from person to person, but for me it's a sensation that I can't really describe. Whereas the growly stomach seems to demand immediate attention, and goes away when I drink water, I find that true hunger is more of a quiet signal that makes me realise it's been a while since I ate. And of course if I wait too long to eat, I start to feel faint. I think it took about six months for me to reliably recognise true hunger.
Good Morning!
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Read all about it here
https://www.endobariatric.com/weblog/2020/08/19/the-truth-ab out-getting-your-gastric-sleeve-in-mexico/
Regards
Dr. Alvarez
Even though there is no average weight loss, there is a very typical weight loss. Most people lose 100 pounds over the course of the first year. It breaks down like this:
Month 1 - 20 pounds
Months 2-6 - 10 pounds a month
Months 7-12 - 5 pounds a month
There is individual variation, but that is what you can reasonably expect.
The extreme hunger does not make sense at all. It is very likely acid reflux. That is common after VSG and mimics hunger. Are you on something like Prevacid? I was sent home with that. Talk to your surgeon about the hunger. It is not normal.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
rate of weight loss can be influenced by so many things - age, sex, metabolic rate, activity level, starting BMI, whether or not you lost a lot of weight prior to surgery (as you know, a lot of initial weight loss is due to "water weight". Since you lost 36 lbs before surgery, that "water weight" was long gone....). The only factors you really have much - or any - control over is how closely you stick to your program and your activity level. It sounds like you're doing well with both of those.
I lost 16 lbs the first month, and maybe 22 or so by the time I got to where you are (at six weeks out). I started out at well over 300 lbs. So if you're lighter than that, you're probably losing at the same pace I did. I was a slow loser from the get-go, but I was very compliant that whole first year and ended up losing 100% of my excess weight. In the long run, your level of commitment is a much better predictor of your ultimate success than your rate of weight loss is.
I think a lot of people go into this with pretty high expectations, and I blame shows like "My 600 lb Life" for that. You need to keep in mind that those people start at MUCH higher BMI's than the average WLS patient does. Although I've never seen any actual medical research on this, I've been hanging out here on OH for about six years, and from what I can tell, the average weight loss the first month is around 15-25 lbs. Of course you will find people who lose more or less than that, but that seems to be about the norm. As long as your overall trend is down and you're committed to your program, you're good.
Selene,
I'm sorry you're having a hard time! Have you spoken to your doctor/weight loss surgery team? They will have some helpful suggestions. Here are my thoughts, whatever they're worth.
1. It hasn't been very long since your surgery. Give yourself a break! It is too soon to be using words like 'failure'.
2. My surgery team (Mass General Hospital in Boston) discouraged counting calories. They said to focus on water and protein. The rest would fall into place. They also suggested we look into mindful eating. It sounded like a bunch of crap to me until I actually tried it. Counting calories and other dieting behaviors never worked for me, long term at least. So it was worth a try!
3. I suspect you are not physically hungry. This is something that works for me when I feel like constantly eating. When I want to eat something I ask myself a question. How long has it been since I last ate? Since surgery, I find that I need to eat every 2-3 hours. If it's been less than 2 hours, I am not physically hungry. So I do something to distract myself. I take a walk, read a book, knit/crochet, call someone. If I still feel like eating 20-30 minutes later, I eat something that's high in protein.
I hope this helps a little.
Kathryn
I was sleeved on August 10, 2020, so it has been a little over 6 weeks as I write this, and I have only lost 16 pounds, barely 2 pounds per week. Anything is better than nothing, but this is pretty disappointing because I hear of so many people with dramatic weight gain post op.
I did lose 36 pounds before surgery over two and a half months, and I get that I may have used up some of the 'easy' weight loss then, but I ate so little after surgery (fasted for a day, then liquid diet for two weeks, then purees and the gradual introduction of more normal foods with an average daily caloric intake between 800 and 850 calories -- and I log everything). For the last month I have been exercising 4-5 times per week for at least 30 minutes, and reaching 10,000 steps some days even when I don't get to my treadmill (much more than I was exercising pre-surgery).
I recently discovered online that a drug I have been taking for neuropathy (amitriptyline) is linked to weight gain (wish a doctor had mentioned that earlier!) so I am tapering it off and I'm almost finished with it. That could be a factor too.
For what it's worth, I also have been extremely hungry. It feels just like it used to when I would lose a lot of weight, then start feeling abnormal levels of hunger.
I am determined to stay the course, hunger or no, but I almost want to cry when I hear of people "forgetting to eat" or "unable to take more than a few bites before they feel satisfied". Not my experience at all.
Any ideas anyone, or similar experiences?
Thanks, Selene
