Baby Shower Blues/Family Rant

Pay for your own shower? Ridiculous. Cancel the whole thing and have a "meet the baby Open House" after you give birth. That way you can control the cost and who comes. Besides, a pound of ziti can go a long way.

WOW.. That really is ridiculous!!  If your heart is not in the shower simply tell your sister, I just can't afford it, and leave it at that.. if she makes a fuss say, sorry, there is nothing I can do.  I need to put this money twords the BABY.  Tell her, I'm just going to use the money to buy the expensive recliner, ottoman and high chair myself!!!  I can't believe how unreasonable she is being, especially being a mother herself!

You are in now way being childish and I think even non pregnant, anyone would act the same way.

Stand your ground and don't let your sister push you around!!

Good luck and you DON'T need that added stress on your self! 

Take care,

Renee*

This stress is not good for you sweetie!!!

Your sister is being insensitive to your needs and you are not overreacting.  Is there anyway you could just have the shower at your house? If your family and friends know your sister, they will not be surprised to hear from you in a phone call telling them the location has changed and it will be at your house instead.

Try to relax and take a deep breath. Family is one of those things that we can't choose, but we CAN choose if we let them get to us or not. If you need to separate yourself from the situation, then do so. Call the place yourself to cancel the reservation or enlist your husband to help, who I am sure is worried about you, furious with your family and willing to do anything to alleviate your stress.

It will be ok ((((hugs))))

UGH! I am not looking foward to the one shower i am having. It's the family one that is going to drive me batty. I am a simple person and this is going to be a big deal. That and my hubby is giving the MIL money for it to help out. I am putting my foot down as to when it is. I refuse to do it on a Sunday. I would like to go to church and I have friends that work with me that wouldn't be able to go if it was on a Sunday.

I think it is safe to assume you will not get wht you need.  You will lose money on a shower.  It's sad but true.

I find it interesting that your sister suggested that you do the shower knowing full well that you really didn't want one.  She then agreed to organize, but not help finance it.  She then convinced you to do it at a more expensive venue than you wanted that could end up costing you up to $1,000 and had the nerve to say who do you think will buy you the pricier things that you need.  I am sure when she had ner baby shower or probably showers, she didn't foot the bill all by herself.  It seems as though she is planning the shower that she wanted at your expense.  Take matters into your own hands, if you are paying for it and you want it at the pizzeria then that is where you should have it.  You didn't go into debt for a wedding, don't let her coax you into doing it for a baby shower.  At the end of the day you are the one who will have the lighter bank account and will probably still have to buy the things you need. This is a time you should be enjoying, don't let her turn it into a burden. 

I think your sister's being a *****!  If you're paying, you should decide where it takes place.  And if she doesn't even WANT to throw you this thing, then forget it.  Would somebody else be willing?

If you're not into the whole shower thing I second the "Welcome Baby!" party idea post birth.

My friend just had her baby shower last month... I hosted it.  I live in a tiny condo, so I could not accommodate the 30 people she invited.  So, I had it at a park.  It was FREE.  I just called the community center and reserved one of the gazebos.  It worked out awesome because the playground was right there, so the kids had something to do and the moms were 10 feet away.

I sent out a darling Evite (and got our RSVPs back in record time, I might add!)  I spent $40 on some decorations and table covers.  $12 for 2 bouquets of mixed flowers for centerpieces (I put the flowers in mason jars that I already had, and tied a bow around each one.) 

For lunch, I ordered a ginormous tray of lasagna from a local place for $42, which came with garlic bread, plates, napkins, and cutlery.  I made an antipasto salad myself (for about $8), and one of the girls who attended made pink cupcakes.  We made pink punch and provided bottled water.

The games didn't require anything that I didn't already have or couldn't borrow from someone.  The prizes, I got for free from my work... including gift bags and tissue paper.  For the diaper raffle "grand prize", another of the girls in attendence donated the prize.

You know what?  The day turned out GORGEOUS.  Everyone had fun, they loved the food, they laughed a ton while playing the games, and they were complimentary.

The whole point is... you don't HAVE to spend a lot of money to have an awesome baby shower.  It takes planning and a little creativity... but if you don't mind having something simple instead of an extravagant gala with customized stuff... then you can have a very nice day.

Your sister is being unreasonable, expecting you to foot the bill for an expensive restaurant.  Tell her that you appreciate her "help", but you simply can't afford it. 

Remember: The day is not about impressing someone!  It is about YOU bringing a new LIFE into this world!!!

Sounds like something that MY sister would do. Screw it. I wouldn't either have a shower or I would have one with a few girlfriends and not invite her. Or like my one friend had we all had pedicures ate lunch and had a diaper shower where everyone brought diapers. You can't go wrong with those!