Talk to me

Hi all,  I know I have never posted much but I'm around and get so much out of reading your posts and comments.  I need to be honest w/ someone and feel this is the place to do it. I have tried and tried to be my usual upbeat and encouraging self, but it's just not there. I've lost my joy and I don't know how to get it back. I'm so tired, so sad, ready to cry (and I'm not usually one to cry.) I don't answer the phone. I don't want to put up the front of everything being alright. My Dad always said if you can't be positive, then be quiet. Or something to that effect. Being quiet isn't working for me now. I was trying to wait until I "felt better" to post. I didn't want to alarm someone who might be pre-op. Truth be told I just want to go to bed and stay there. Tried that once and it didn't help. So I'm just putting one foot in front of the other.   Doctor said I'm fine and to eat more calories.   Mag    

OK, you just had surgery a couple of months ago. Your body is releasing a lot of hormones from fat, hence the mood swings and fatigue. If you are depressed and feel very bad, talk with a doctor (maybe not the bariatric doc, sounds like he's not listening) and see if some antidepressants will help. Can you talk with a psychologist/psychiatrist? It sounds like you might be depressed ... don't be afraid to ask for help.

You were courageous enough to post on the board ... now, take the next step. There are days I don't want to get out of bed either, or go to work. If I didn't have the antidepressants, I wouldn't leave the apt. But off I go ... despite my pain, fatigue and whatever else is going on in my life. It's hard ... I couldn't do it without the drugs.

If you need to talk or cry, I'm here for you.

Hi Eileen, Thanks for your reply. I usually bonce back well from surgeries. December I had sinus surgery. January had my bypass and felt great the first three weeks out. Then my gallbladder went back and it was removed in February. That's when all the sadness started along w/ the being tired. I wasn't expecting it at all,   Mag

(((((Mag))))

We are all here for you, lady! Losing large amounts of weight as quickly as we do can make your hormones go wild. I've been taking antidepressants all year to get a handle on the raging emotions. My biggest problem was not so much depression as it was anger. I was always angry for stupid little reasons as my husband will attest. I too suggest some medical help and patience. Wait it out, it will pass. Do increase your calories, this is not a race, it's a huge change of life and find new things to do to distract your thoughts. If I can help in any way, feel free to PM me.

Amalia

Thanks Amalia, I really appreciate your input. I am still glad I had the by-pass. Lord knows I could not do it on my own. Having the gallbladder out 5 weeks after was too much on me. I will PM you soon. Your friend,  Mag

Mag,

Both Eileen and Amalia both told you pretty much what I would have.  Everyone is different and I am not sure about what system you have in place for support, but I want you to know that this road can have a side effect of what you are experiencing.  We here are here to support one another and can only do so if you open up and talk about your feelings.  It is easier when you find out you are not alone in what you are experiencing, which you will only know by coming and sharing with us your true feelings.  None of us are positive all the time and some of us, quite frankly, are very prone to depression and on medication for it, which is not a bad thing, most especially if it helps you get through.  Your body is going through a lot, but so is your head, you are changing and at a pace that is probably scarey to you, so please don't listen to your Dadspeak, he meant well, but what you need is exactly to share what you are going through with people who can understand and that is us and maybe a professional.

Hugs, Laureen

Thanks Laureen, I usually go to a 12 step program. I've only been once since my gallbladder was removed in February. One of the people even offered to pick me up. I'll call her and see if ahe is still willing to do that. My siste was there for me every step of the way until this month. She is very tired also. She is gone for 5 days and I'm really glad. I love her very much, but she needs a life of her own too. My best friend just had her hip replaced so I've pretend to be fine so she doesn't worry. I neeed to call my 2 brothers. They both have called but I just don't want to be a complainer. Guess I'll do that too.  Thanks,   Mag

Mag, we put our bodies through so much when we have surgery. We are older, our needs are different from the young ones who have surgery. We are in a different place in our lives.
It's okay to be depressed or sad, our hormones are changing. Sometimes we aren't in our "happy place" for awhile. Know that you are not alone. We are here for you and it's okay to vent. Really now is the time to keep posting and maybe you just need to have your feelings validated.
So cry.
Throw a pillow against a wall.

It's scary if you normally are an upbeat happy gal. I went through this type of feeling...but I pushed through it. I went for long walks and exercise has always uplifted my spirits. I wasn't in a "dark place" but somewhere in between. Not really depressed just having some "off feelings". It helped me to volunteer my time and exercisee.

So what is so bad about just going to bed and stay there for awhile. Well it depends on how long you want to do that. Maybe give yourself 3 days and tell family and friends you are taking this time to reflect and just have "you time". Don't beat yourself up about having these feelings just try doing this for 3 days max. After that if you really are in a "depression" please so see your doctor or internist. Help is there for you. Sending you great big hugs. Debbie

Hi Debbie, Thanks for your encouragement. I was thinking that I was not going to go through this because my first three weeks were great. No N/V, more energy, very happy. I was fine til I started eating "real food." Then it was daily problems. I ended up having gallbladder removed 5 weeks after my by-pass. That's when the sadness and fatigue started. I took a week "off" at that time but it didn't seem to help. Well try to exercise more this week.   Mag

That's the spirit Mag, even just going for a walk helps.
Remember you are recovering from not one but two major surgeries.
It takes a while for the anesthesia to get out of our system too.

I had emergency surgery for a small bowel obstruction in July. (darn adhesion's)...anyway I went through a "blue period" and it took almost 4 months for me to get back to exercising like a little bit. It hurt to exercise. I felt like a failure when I wasn't. I had goals to reach and didn't reach them. So finally I stopped beating myself up and listened to my body. Even now I get pain in my gut when I do sit ups, rowing class any thing abdominal. The key for me was to improvise. I now use the therapy pool, work with weights and do sit ups in the water. I love to walk but can't "woggle" yet (a pep-step between a jog and fast walk).

Give yourself time Mag! Your okay. But really if this "blue period" stays around, there are medications to get you through this. You know your body and mind the best. Listen to yourself.