Please help.

Hi Linda,

In Dec. 12, 2007  I was supposed to have a 2 level spinal fusion.  Because of my weight they had to cancel the surgery while I was on the table in the OR, too many complications.  I was told I had to have WLS before they can fix my back.  For the past year I have worked towards that goal.  I have lost 52 pounds during that time.  Now I don;t know if I'll be able to have the wls since my pcp isn;t cooperating and as of Jan. 1st my insurance changed, so I think I'll have to start all over but you know what....it is ok... because I have lost half of what I need to.  What have I gained??  I no longer have High blood Pressure, no longer have high cholesterol or high triglycerides. I am no longer border diabetic, my knees don't hurt like they used too.  Oh the back still needs to be fixed but it doesn;t go out all the time like it used to, If I'm careful it's ok.  So maybe this is the way it is supposed to be for me.  I don't know, either way it is ok. I figure I'm where God wants me to be right now.  I'll keep trying to lose more weight and keep doing what I need to for wls and if it happens ok and if it doesn't I'm ok with that too.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs, Paulette

I am so sorry you are going through so much frustration. I thought I was not going to get approved due to cardiac also but thankfully passed the heart catheter. I think if I had put WLS off any longer it never would have happened. Unfortunately after a major "event" such as your stents DRs want to wait a year before another surgery. I ran into that with my neck situation. Now I have lost my health insurance so I can't get my neck fixed. Yes it ticks me off since I need my poor neck fixed. So I can totally understand how this is affecting you. Try to hang in there sweetie.

Thank you for your post.

I think I'm firmly routed in denial.    When I go to cardiac rehab and they talk of all the lifestyle changes that are now required, I think "well, i am doing this and that'...and I wonder why such a fuss is being made over me having  a stent. I didnt have a heart attack.    but to the rehab group it IS a big thing, or as you said "a major event'.  

I'm starting to tear up as I type this response as inside I am feeling, and admitting for the first time to myself, and now here in text....that it could be a big thing.  That having a 95% blockage IS a big thing.  Life is not the same . It won't ever be the same again.   I have cardiac artery disease. Me!  the Me I thought was always as strong as a horse. It's what has got me thru everything in my life.... denial. ..pu**** down and move on.   Be a rock.

So now I sit here facing all that has happened to me...the stress test, the immediate catherization and stent placement, the car accident, ....and I'm crying.     I'm crying for the me that I didnt' let hurt or grieve for what I've lost...and for what I've gained. 

Im lucky, more than lucky , I'm blessed that the blockage was caught before I had a massive heart attack.       And iknow this and I'm blessed that I was not more seriously hurt in the car accident.          So why do I ...right at this moment... feel badly for myself and am crying ? 

Someone here mentioned a counselor and I am beginning to think that may not be a bad idea for a short period.     

I think i'll stop typing now and get a grip.    thanks for your kind post. 

I think everyone's kindness to me, a virtual stranger, is so amazing.

Linda

Linda,

It sounds like you're enduring MAJOR STRESS now.  I know it's frustrating, but you really need to get your cardiac health under control before WLS.

In my opinion, no WLS will cure stress eating, emotional eating, boredom eating, comfort eating, or whatever.  I have found therapy to be very helpful with all of that (my counselor is experienced with WLS and eating disorder patients).

Jean

Hi Jean

I dont know if I am in denial or not but when I read your message stating I'm enduring "MAJOR STRESS'  my first reaction was "stress?  I'm not stressed!".

Could it be that we become blind to the stressors in our life or is it the 'typical woman thing' where we keep on keeping on no matter what.

I need to sit back and take a long hard look at myself and see what others apparently are seeing.     Looking objectively at what I've written, I would say the same thing too.

Can one be stressed and not know it ? 

food for thought for sure. 

thanks for your  message.  I will looking into the book mentioned earlier in posts about emotional eating and seeif that doesnt give me some insight too.   Linda

linda....wow- thank you for trusting us to tell ya what we feel! and as others have shared; you will get thru this- and the dr's really are trying to protect your body by waiting for the cardiac stuff to improve! car accident on top of everything-yikes!!!

sometimes even the most calm cool and collected folks need to whine and vent....and often more than once!!

focus..such an individual thing-it was suggested to really treat yourself well and that is key...making better choices about food is important but you need to help yourself just get back in control...ouch! an ugly word but for many of us it is so important-if we can at least control ourselves-right?

now- i am NOT trying to shove any religious belifes here but for me- i took the Serenity Prayer and broke it down--i carry a card with me at all times but i have gotten to know it so well...the "regular" version! saying it over and over didn't help til i started breaking it down-and i will often find myself talking-to me! and asking so--what can you change? what do you need to accept?now, make yourself accept what you cannot change--you get the drift!

i had my surgery in 3/2004 and at 13 months out was actually within 25 pounds of goal-when my hubby got deathly ill--whoa yea! stress eating crept back in big time- i was eating healthy salads at the hospital but i was piling stuff on top and i was drowning my stress-even in healthy post wls foods! i put back on 33 of those hard lost pounds and i am still up near there-not that high again--and i fretted--wow- i'm a failure blah blah...yet!! i didn't go thru all of that rearranging of my insides and etc just o get here--however--i have had to look at it this way--i remain more than 50 # lower than my highest weight! i have managed with my tool to keep off those 50#---i am stilllllllll working toward goal and someday i'll get there-for me!

your doctors are giving you time--take it--don't expect to change everything in one day--a natural thing-specially for women!!!

counselling, books, meditation...whatever works- a combination of all of teh above-whatever-find your groove!

find a way to relax ..and if it's in the drugs right now so be it!!!
instead of the ice cream- maybe  some cottage cheese--or some yogurt...similar textures!

hug yourself linda--you need it right now!!!!!
and come back to vent any time! we listen to the whining and venting as well as the whoo hoos that you need to share!

big hugs and prayers..........

Thanks, Margo.

I've come back to read the messages here and you are all so wonderful.    I have taken 3 weeks away to take care of me, relax, exercise as much as I can and go to cardiac rehab.  All have worked wonders on my frame of mind.       The only issue I have right at this minute is that I have bronchitis, but this toos hall pass.

I was so sure I wanted the RNY, but with the aspirin I have to take now forever, I'm not sure that is the right choice, so I'm taking the time to get well and then make the decision.

I'm curently down 25 pounds!   But I'm still not eating perfectly yet. Not getting enough protein, etc, so I'm working on that so when I do have surgery, I will be right on target.

I am seeing my cardiologist in April and will petition him to allow me to have surgery. I hope he does!

Thanks so much for your message of hope.  It has helped me more than you can ever know.

Linda

Linda,

You know you are in my prayers and I know things will drastically improve and you will be on your way to a healthy Linda.  Chin up, lady! 

Your friend,

Donna

Linda,

I am so sorry for what has happened to you.  You certainly have been hit by a lot in a short period of time.  I'm sorry your plans have been set back.  But remember, how ever long it takes to qualify and have the surgery, it is worth it.  There are many people on OH that have spent years fighting insurance companies to be able to have surgery.  I believe they would say it was worth it. 

Do spend this time researching your weight loss surgery options.  If you have to take NSAIDS, the RNY may not be your best choice.  Whatever you choose, don't let this bump in the road steal your focus.

Good Luck,

Caro

Thanks,  Caro.   

Good point about the NSAIDS.   I do believe I will  need to take them for my heart from this point forward.    I will take your advic and look into other surgical options. 

thanks for the post. You were so kind to write.

Linda