Hey Gang!!

Where'd everyone go? For a while, we had some groooovy posting going on. Now, it's become quiet again. Any WOW moments out there? Any moans and groans? Any good news? Come on, everyone. Let's stay connected! This week, I made my trip to Value Village (my new bestest place to shop) and picked up some size 9 jeans. Who'd a thought? My moan and groan is because (excuse the directness) my butt has shrunk, but not the skin, so I often sit on "wrinkles" and it hurts! Let me know when anyone wants to meet for lunch or coffee again. We had a great time, last time, and I really want to get to know as many of you as possible! Have a great Super Bowl weekend. I think I will go shopping while my Hubby watches the game. Joy

Hi Joy. Hi everybody. Yes, it's been very quiet here. Thanks for posting, Joy. I really wanted to meet everybody when you last got together, but I went with my friend to her doctor's appointment instead, then took her to lunch. She had a lumpectomy yesterday for breast cancer. So far, so good. I am really struggling with my eating. Lots of binging. Not a happy camper right now, but I am working on it. The good news is that I am FINALLY out of my hospital bed! Yay! They picked it up on Wednesday, so I am physically making really good progress. Sure hope to see you all one of these days. In the meantime, I'm going to keep posting. Sure hope you all do too! Peg

Hi Peg! It's good to hear from you. We missed you at the last support group meeting. Hope you'll come to the next one. It helps. How wonderful, that you can sleep in your regular bed now. You will get control of the binging. What started it? Sometimes, if you can examine the thing that started it, it can be easier to stop the behavior and replace it with something a little healthier. Yes, we need to get everyone together again, soon. Have a great day! Joy

Hi Joy. I'm sorry I missed out on the last support group meeting. When is the next one coming up in February? Or did I miss that one too? I haven't received any information on it even though I registered that day I went. Any help you can give me on dates would sure be appreciated because I definitely want to be there. That's good advice about examining what is triggering my binging. I think I had been letting my pouch tell me when to stop eating, and it did. Now it isn't. "I" need to tell myself when to stop! I am not getting the not-so-gentle reminders any more that I am full. Because it doesn't hurt physically any more to overeat, I am doing just that. Sooo, I need to take control or turn my control over to my "higher power", in my case, God. I know one of my triggers is thirst. Another is being tired and thinking that food will overcome being tired. NOT! The other thing is that I am no longer taking anti-depressants, and I am slowly feeling things and am working really hard to work through those feelings rather than push them down. One of those feelings is realizing that I will need to go in for more tests this spring to make sure that the cancer has not come back. Well, I certainly hadn't thought I was going to share all of this, but then again, this seems to be the place that I do share my feelings, so I am just going to roll with it. This message board and the Christian message board have been such a wonderful support system for me. I hope it is for others too. There are so many kind, caring people here, and I think we all know the feelings of vulnerability and want to reach out to others who are hurting. Anyway, that's it for now. I hope to see you soon, Joy. I hope to see others too at the office support group meeting and at some "unofficial" ones! Peg

Hi Peg, You see how quickly we fall apart without all of your great questions!?! Thank you Joy for putting out the "hey where did everybody go" because we obviously need prodding. I am dependable about answering posts, but I don't often initiate them. If someone else says something I can't resist putting in my two cents! Peg I share your feelings of "to heck in a handbasket" as far as my habits of late. I have always found that I do better when instead of saying "I'm not going to this and that" I say "whether I do this or that is yet to be determined for this day - but no matter what I will do THIS" as in drink my water, excercise, take my vitamins, etc. It seems that those daily affirmations that I do healthy things no matter what my eating ends up being that day, seems to keep me on a more successful path in the area of what I actually do eat. This year I was tapering off anti-depressants. A few months ago I had a period where for the first time as a post-op I was doing things I hadn't done since the "old days". In one week I went to McDonalds twice (alone not because I got stuck there with my kids) ate a couple of Ding Dongs, was grazing, made a big bowl of popcorn with butter LATE AT NIGHT (definately a pre-op behavior). I felt a drive like one does with PMS but it wasn't that. I went to my therapist who increased my medication. I have to say it was like a switch was flipped within a couple of days. I woke up and the urge was just gone. I went back to my cottage cheese and blueberries and grilled chicken. The visit with the therapist, restoring my medication dose, and really taking an inventory of my emotional/stress issues and seeing what I could do to get them in check, along with getting a pedicure and going to see one of the movies only I would want to see....all together did a lot to help. I truly believe that the first year after my surgery was equal parts a change in my physical self and a new and increased committment to managing my anxiety and stress in life. It was partly because in the early months post-op I just COULDN'T eat to cope with my feelings, and eventually had to come up with alternatives to alleviate those feelings or I was going to pop. As I've demonstrated this past couple of weeks now I actually CAN eat to cope with feelings - sometimes it is a case of just getting back on the old horse and giving myself a good pep talk. It isn't always so simple as changing a medication, but I just wanted to share that for me there was one time when that really did make a difference. I kind of got the impression from so many people on the boards that once they lost all the weight not only did they go off a lot of diabetes medications and others, but that many didn't need the anti-depressants anymore. I started to believe that "of course I needed anti-depressants I was 300 pounds and depressed, now I'm not". I've decided now that there are plenty of skinny people that need to be on them and I am one of them. Anxiety runs in my family and it runs right through my DNA. I can meet any day this week for lunch with anybody if they want to. Patty

Hi Patty. Thanks for writing. You sure make alot of sense. I have been trying to deal with my feelings and anxieties without my therapist and also without medication, and it definitely isn't working. I think I'll just give my therapist a call and go have a little chat. I think recognizing that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help is a good thing. You're right about the anxiety running in the family. I know I'm also dealing with the stress of whether or not the stomach cancer will come back, so I need to be kinder and gentler to myself. I would love to get together for lunch. I have a couple of calls to make tomorrow to see how the rest of my week is shaping up. So far, Tuesday and Friday are open, but I'll just have to see. I'm sure Joy would like to get together too. I'll be in touch, and thanks again for writing. I really value what you have to say. Peggy PS I have a sister Patty!

Hi Peg! I wish I could make it this week, but Joe has several medical tests going on and I will need to be there. If you get together Friday, eat something for me! I hope we can get together again, soon! Joy

Hi Patty! It's good to hear from you. Heck, I have been on antidepressants for many years. My depression originated from childhood events. When trauma happens to children, their brain chemistry is effected. Besides, I come from a depressed family, so I will probably need them for the rest of my life. I think you possess a great deal of insight. Keep up the good work. Remember, it's not about reaching a "goal". Life is a journey and we are always learning more about ourselves. The only day I would be available for lunch this week would be Friday. If the rest of you pick another day, I will catch up with you next time. We still need to see a movie together! Joy

I deeply admire your courage, Patty. Self disclosure about inner emotions does not come easily to me. You inspire me to try harder. I honestly believe that the entire body is affected by the weight loss and that it includes brain chemistry. Who knew? I see my doctor tomorrow because I am now testing out as pre-diabetic. I have never had anything like this before and we need to see whther it is related to the surgery or something that was coming anyway. Genes, damn! tee

Thanks Tee. I would say that being open with my feelings and issues has only come on gradually over the past two years and only on this site. My own soul was so relieved early on when others were talking about feelings and behaviors. I spent a lonely decade assuming that I was the sole owner of these things. What a lifting of spirit to realize there was a whole bunch of people out there from all walks of life that had found a way to share these issues. Not being the only one - for me - makes it feel less. When I started attending support group it was the first time I didn't feel the dread feeling about what to wear or how I looked because I just didn't have to put up that front with these people. As I've said before, I am not a joiner and I am VERY closed mouth with my own family and friends. My husband's whole family still doesn't know I had surgery at all. I realize that I've used my real name and anybody could know me and read this, but I've just dispensed with that idea and if it happens "oh well". If they're on this site they could benefit just like any of us might. I do think hormones are hugely affected by the changes that take place. Of course I think hormones are ALWAYS lurking willing to mix it up and create havoc. Message to Tee's body...."what the heck! Leave her alone. What's the big idea throwing out pre-diabetic numbers". At least they are PRE diabetic. Hope you can keep that one away. It all over my family so I keep my fingers crossed too. Patty