How Do Biggies React To Your "Great Pumpkin" Story?

 I get so tired of trying to persuade people who truly need WLS to see the light and "git 'er done", particularly after delivering to them a lengthy, glowing and enthusiastic description of my own life-saving surgical trip, experience, and jouney into better health ..  I sometimes wonder if a SINGLE one of them followed up by having WLS themselves, or even getting serious enough to see a WLS surgeon for a consult ..  &:-/)   It seems even when people are thinking of the possibility of WLS, they find some excuse not to diligently follow through with it or otherwise not have it done ..   Most recent case in point:  I had a new client and his wife visit with me at my office regarding a legal matter yesterday ... The gentleman is in his mid-50s and weighs over 350 lbs.  He is a bad Type II diabetic who is already battling major neuropathy in his feet, pressure sores there, and has already lost a big toe in the recent months to a MARS (sp. ?) infection resulting from a pressure abscess  ..  His wife is also fairly hefty, but otherwise appeared in good health ..   They have a son in his early 20s who is about 300 lbs. and is supposedly attempting to get approved for WLS himself ...  The family owns a major, old landscape designing business in the local area so money is apparently not a problem for them ..   After listening to the couple tell me how they are hoping BC of Texas's High Risk Pool will approve the husband for WLS despite BC's blanket exclusion against same (supposedly an official with BC told them it would be approved if hubby can document all his health problems relating to his weight - yeah, right!) and telling them how I know BC will NOT approve it (I am a long-standing member of the same High Risk Pool, btw), I then launched into my Great Pumpkin story, hoping they would then make the sensible decision  --  one of simply ponying up the $10K U.S. (or even get a loan) and letting my surgeon perform a very nice and effective WLS procedure on the husband in Brazil (or to let another WLS surgeon do so in the U.S. for a bit more $s - I provided them w. names and locations) ..       Yes, as always, my listeners-at-large appeared very interested to hear of this great personal possibility for their lives, but $s to low-carb doughnuts I bet in a year or so if I were to check back with this particular couple that he has still not had his WLS (and may not even be with us anymore) ..   &:-/)    Do any of my fellow post-ops ever have this same exasperation?  Are people afraid to save their lives these days or what???

I wanted to share a different story with you - one that actually made me feel good. One of my co-workers has a good friend that stands about 5' 6" and weighed over 400 lbs. My buddy told his friend about me, I am 6' 3" and weighed 338 lbs before I made the life changing decision to have my RNY. It has now been 4 months since my surgery and I have lost 90 lbs so far. Anyway, my buddy gave his friend my number and told him if he was interested in talking about WLS to give me a call. Well, he did and we talked for almost two hours on the phone. It turns out that after talking to me, he decided to pursue WLS and was approved almost instantly. Dec. 11th he went in and had the Lap-Band procedure and is doing fantastic. He told my buddy to make sure and let me know that it was only after talking to me that he made his decision to have his surgery. Words can't explain how that made me feel - knowing that by sharing my story with him helped him make his decision. I hope that you will continue sharing your story with others that express an interest in WLS. I know that I will. 

 thanks Charles, and I'm SO glad you were able to make a difference in at keast that person's life .. (and may have even saved it) ..

  In my case, apparently it's just I'm a lousy salesman, even with a service that I believe so deeply in personally ..  Guess I better stay a lawyer, as someone suggested on the main forum on this matter  ..  &:-/)

Paul, you know the old saying, you can lead  a horse to water......................

     Perhaps the prudent thing to do is to lead by example and only offer opinions when asked. The decision to have WLS is very personal (as we all know) and it can lead to serious complications and even death in rare cases. This is an area where most of us can only offer an emotional opinion as we are not trained health care workers. I would feel real bad if someone developed life long health issues as a result of advice I had given them. One of my own children would benefit greatly from this procedure and if asked I'll tell her what I think she should do; but only if she asks me for advice.     Once again, just my .02

Doug,

As a parent, you can be a great example - your daughter is certainly aware of both her need and your results, she's just not ready to ask.  I was in her same position - my mother had a RnY over three years ago, after being MO for most of my life.  The changes it made in her have been unbelievable.  It took me this long to finally take it in and realize that - yes, it's time for me to take these steps and change my life as well. Just keep on being a great example of the way life can change - I know when I finally asked, my mother became my biggest supporter, but she never pushed until I asked.  Sometimes parents are really great.  John

Being a gospel preacher, I can tell you that people will only take action when they want to. All you can do is exactly what you are doing, continue to tell your story about your WLS, answer their questions, and continue to live the new live you have been given through WLS. If and when they are ready, they will seek out the help they need. Remember that once, we too, were all pre op and WLS patients probably thought the same about us. You can lead a horse to water, hold his head under til he drowns, but you still can never make him drink. Just a litle food for thought.

The difference I noticed in the two stories was the first one you gave your story to them.  Maybe it came up in conversation and they asked you about it I don't know.  The second story the person reached out and asked.  That is a big difference in the second one was already going down that path.  Secondly don't asume the worst maybe they went home last night and decided yes this is that important to me and I'm going to get it done one way or another.  You may never know the answer but just feel good that you gave them the info and now it is up to them.  I would much rather give the information and feel I did everything I could than not give the information and feel like I could of helped someone and didn't.  Like most of the others on here have said.  They are the only ones that can make the choice regardless of what you do.

well, some of us take different approaches. i never told anyone about my surgery and never tell anyone today. funny, at the docs yesterday one of the nurses worked for another doc of mine. her jaw dropped when she saw me in the weight loss center. she said she never knew i had the surgery. i told her that's because i never talk about it.

it's a personal decision first off. we need guys like you out there telling the world this works and can do it so eloquently. like doug, i think it's a personal thing but even more i don't think it's for everyone. this thing takes work and it's akin to kicking an addiction. you have to really want to make it work and it won't unless you want to change your life. now that's a huge statement. unless the people you talk to are ready then it will never happen. now you can count on one hand the number of people who know i've had the surgery and i bet a hundred more have figured it out anyway but i just don't get into it. if an overweight friend asked then i would help with everything i've got. i just don't volunteer there's this surgery. most people know all about it anyway. i would rather come here where i know the guys are serious about getting the surgery and ask questions.

no right or wrong here. we need people like you and Dx to be spokesmen so people get the RIGHT info. i just believe it's their choice and if it's a green light i would be more than happy to talk about it. i do believe that this just plain scares the crap out of a lot of people. the surgery is scary and the thought of not eating your favorite foods again is probably the biggest block. funny what scares people the most about the procedure but that's a whole other post! i just won't start the ball rolling when the subject comes up even if i know it will help, they have to ask first. just my take.....carbonblob

A lot of great replies.  I probably fall somewhere in the middle.  I am very open about having the surgery.  Also very quick to respond when someone says "oh, you took the easy way".  As we all know, this is a great tool but I still have a long ways to go to conquer all of the reason I became obese in the first place. There have been 2 women who decided they were NOT ready for the surgery when they spent some time with me about 3 months out.  They said they didn't realize how much you go through.  I am still in communication with them and they periodically ask additional questions. At this point I am all for helping people get as healthy as they can.  If they can lose the weight and maintain on their own (without surgery) Fantastic!!!  If they would like to know more about this tool ask away (and I do get a lot of questions). As open as I've been about all of this, I just want people to have a better understanding.   I still attend the support group meetings (but now I answer more questions than I ask).  I've gained a wealth of knowledge from this board alone and share that as well. As was mentioned before, it's a very personal decision.  I'm willing to share info as much as possible but it's not up to me to push.  The better educated a person gets,  the better decisions they'll hopefully make. Brian