Happy New Year

Well guys...it doesn't happen to often, but I have decided that it is time to post.  On a daily basis, I read the posts in the forum at least two or three times a day.   It has been a really interesting year.  I have worked hard to maintain my weight, yet..nobody seemed to be very happy.  Most people told me that I was too thin and too sickly looking.  I, of course, didn't see it or believe it.  I was concerned with a number that shouldn't have been so important.  Sadly, hearing how sick I looked convinced me that I needed to put on a little weight.  Can you believe it... time to gain weight!!!  HATED THE THOUGHT!!!!  Sadly, because I needed to add some weight, I ended up getting into old habits.  I would gain a pound...hate myself for it..and punish myself with food.  I have learned that I could eat anything.. pineapple...donuts...chips..etc.  I would be careful of what ate...but I also ate the wrong things..  Needless to say...throughout the year... I gained five pounds.  Hated myself even more...because of it...but in reality... I knew that I was healthier looking and healthier in general.  Sadly, as the holiday times have approached, I allowed myself to enjoy family gatherings...traditional cooking...etc...  If I step on the scale... I am about twelve pounds heavier then I want to be (actaully 20 pounds heavier then I want to be....)... Sadly though.. I am also at my healthiest.  I hate the contridiction between what is best for my body..and the number in my head.   Well, I have rambled enough... I hope to be better this year at responding and posting...and not simply reading....  HOWEVER........... I could really use some contact with others...  Could really use the e-mails...and personal chats with others!!!!

Daniel, Those comments that people have been making regarding your weight seem to be based on how you look and not so much on how you feel.  I am not speaking from experience here, I'm still working my way down to my goal, but my question is based on how I may face a similar issue. Does adding more weight only mean I can achieve that weight by adding only fat or can the added weight  be alternatively be muscle or muscle/fat as a tuning toward  reaching a desired weight goal.  I have been a couch potato from birth, so maybe CarbonBlob, NotDave, or others more athletic may be a better source of information. I do not know how hard is it to add 20 pounds of muscle when one starts out at a weight of 180 lbs.  (I’m short so my weight reference may be low for the taller members here. I think that I would feel more confident or at least more comfortable being 20 lbs heavier if my arms and legs were larger than if my belly was larger.)  If 2 hours of weight work 3 times a week is required, I do not think I have the discipline to make time for that happen  I can see myself in your post, and I am sure that may others do as well.

Thanks for posting, Daniel!  As a newbie, I am trying hard to stay away from the numbers game and stay off the scales.  It is tempting to measure my success by the numbers but I want to avoid the struggle you are having now (which seems pretty normal to me).  Good luck getting some of those bad habits and irrational thoughts turned around. CB

Thanks for the comments... They are appreciated.  Since getting online and participating in with board... I have always found great support, encouragement, and informaiton.  I have really not participated a lot in the recent past.  I have felt out side...looking in.  However, the posts that are here are always read..and appreicated..  No matter what..though...You guys always rock!!!! 

Daniel, (no, no...YOU Rock!) HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’ve been off and running about and just saw your post. Sorry to hear you are struggling with old habits, Glad to hear you put on some weight. (I was worried about you there at your low weight!) Let 1 or 2 of those 12 new lbs go- TOPS! Beyond that, you are only allowed to convert them to muscle!!J Hope you find all of the Support these guys are so great about giving! Beyond that, If you can fit it in your Online life, I’d recommend dropping by QuixoticWLS. Quixotic WLS is the only "Not-for-Profit" WLS Org out here on the web. (that I know of) Thus, the lack of ads, and total lack of "$ponsor driven" admin It a good place to get some more unvarnished truth about things. No candy coating. No "Slant" to which threads are ‘popular’ and which aren’t. More than that, it also has most of the "Info-All-Stars" of many of the other WLS Message Boards. A Lot of 3 to 5+year Post-Ops. Many who have dealt with and overcome similar issues. (body image, under-weight, fluctuating weight, old habit re-runs, etc…) Great Folks from Fatblog, OH, RenewedReflections, Duodenal Switch(info-Zone)Support Forum, several of the YaHoo Groups, and even some BariatricEating ex-patriots. Sort of the "Deep Space 9" of WLS Message Boards. The New Message Board Format just started up last week. It may be a while before everyone makes the move, but the New Year is off to a busy start there already. Give it a ‘look-see’ if you’re interested… In the meantime. Healthy! Healthy! Healthy!! I look forward to a long string of Success Stories coming from you! Have a Great ’08! Best Wishes- Dx