I just need to vent

Okay - I know I am normally a happy person, but right now there are so many things that are bothering me. While in the waiting room yesterday I realized that I'm tired of telling people I've had the Gastric Bypass surgery. That's mostly because of the initial response I get from people and thats "you must feel so much better". I didn't feel bad to begin with. I never had any co-morbidities. I wasn't a couch potatoe. I wasn't lazy....I WAS FAT. I always have been active - yes my activity level has GREATLY increased and my ability to do more has greatly increased - but I really don't notice a "real difference". Could it be that because I've been living in my skin that I don't notice it. (geez....am I PMSing this early in the morning? ) Am I the only one who is getting tired of people's reactions even though the majority of the reactions are positive? Yes I know there are many more things I can do more now than I could before......but shouldn't that go without saying? It's a physical change that we make by loosing this weight. I feel like I'm alone in this feeling. I love that I've had the surgery and I'm proud of the changes I've made in my life - but to explain to people the difference before and after really gets under my skin sometimes...... Okay - I'm done griping. (For now) Thanks for letting me vent!

That totally makes sense to me, DeeDee. I worry that I'm going to get angry at that and how people treat me/react to me when I'm thinner. I feel fine too...most of the time. I have some physiological issues like heal spurs, back pain...I have reflux and hypothyroidism, but they don't really affect me like some of the comorbidities. I'm overall a pretty healthy person...just fat. I am fairly active too. For the most part, I feel good. So, this is kind of a weird journey for me too. I need/want this very badly. If I don't do this, I'm missing out on so much. There are things I avoid just because I'm overweight, and I'm tired of doing that. If I don't do it...I'm going to just have to sit and watch my husband and son have a life without me in it. We have so many plans. I can't wait to start doing them. You know, you are doing great...you were beautiful before surgery, and you are beautiful now. Don't let those people affect you like they do...I know...easier said than done. Hey, gripe away...that is what we are here for, right?

Baby girl, if you can't vent to US, who can you vent to??? WE LUV YA HONEY!!! I am probably NOT the best one to relate with where you are coming from, because, although I didn't have diabetes, etc. I was on the verge of being wheelchair bound, and my quality of life IS greatly improved. That said, I'd like to think I am still the same person I was before, and yes, some people DO treat me differently. I have apparently lost one of my two very bestest friends, and my heart is broken over that. But that is different than what you are going through. Hey...if I can't offer advice, I CAN listen, and you KNOW I'm there for that! Big hugs!!! Luv ya!! Tami

Hi Jack** Tami~ Your new picture of you is so pretty. What I can see from your picture is that you are happy, you look so beautiful and the radiance that comes from your smile is just simply glowing. My goodness, look at how much you have changed. I thought that you might like a compliment and besides you are a beautiful lady, Yes lady. You go woman

Dee Dee, I know a bit how you feel. People ask me (after 90 lbs. weight loss, still going down) if I don't feel "like a new person." The truth is, I just feel like the "old" me, the me I was before I gained 150 lbs., about 20 years ago. I feel more like myself than I have felt in years. Turns out I will be starting a new job next month... a firm I used to work for wants me back and has made me an offer I can't refuse. . . and I don't plan to tell any of my co-workers there about the surgery for the very reasons you elaborate. Gets tiresome... when someone asks me now "how I did it" I plan to just tell them "It took a lot of hard work and pain, but I did it." BTW, you have been an inspiration in the area of exercise, which is something I've never enjoyed. Now I'm doing resistance training 3 x per week, walking 2-3 miles another few times a week, and starting to do yoga on my 'off' days. If you can do it, I can do it. Your posts have really been encouraging. Blessings to you, Cheryl

Hey, Dee Dee.. I can absolutely relate to what you are angry about... even though in my case it has nothing to do with WLS (not yet atleast.. Anyway...I have a very thick accent since I grew up in Russia... and although I've lived in US for a very long time and speak freely, understand 100%, read and write on a daily basis without any problems, I still speak with an accent...So people notice.... all the time.... over and over , and over AGAIN and AGAIN....most if not all coments I get are positive or even complementary....BUT..I'm tired of it....My Accent IS NOT what defines me in any major way.... there is more underneath , darn it.... and yet.... IT's been comented on constantly...even by people that I work with and talk to evey day...It bugs me big time... but I can't really stop it, I guess... and like in your case your being obese never stoped you from doing things,my being ESL person never interfered with my life...I did everything I should and could inspite of this "handicap".. ...I don't want to be rude to people and tell them to to leave it along, but it's sure getting under my skin now...Bu I think we can't let ourselves to get frustrated by those things, they are not worth it... right?. Best wishes, Rita

Dee Dee I can understand exactly how you are feeling. Some days I want to put a sign around my neck that says: "I had GBS, Yes I do feel better but I'm still tired after working all day chasing a hyperactive doctor, Yes I do eat almost all of the foods I ate before surgery - just less, and thank you for asking". Now can I get back to work. Most days I see 15 to 20 patients that I haven't seen since their last 3 month appointment so they can tell a big difference in how I look but I begin to feel like a broken record before the day is over. When I was fat, I felt I was defined by my size. Whatever else someone would say about me was always prefaced with "she is a bit heavy" (if they were being kind). Now I feel like I am defined by the fact that I am the one who had WLS and lost all that weight. I just want to be recognized for who I am and what I have to offer and not for what size I am. And I am very open about my surgery. I can not imagine it if I didn't want to discuss it with anyone. I've had 80yo men ask me how much hanging skin I have! Instead of cussing them out, I usually tell them them that I have less than they do. Shuts up people pretty quickly. The only ones who irritate me more are the people who ask me if I have lost a few pounds. FEW POUNDS! Just a few pounds short of what I weigh now. Lets talk about how observent some people really are. So don't feel bad about ranting. I'll rant with you denise

LOL, "I have less hanging skin than they do"....ROFL...... thanks for making me smile in the morning....Rita

okay - I'm honestly glad to see I'm not the only one who has this type of issues..... Thanks guys - I do feel much better!!!

To tell you the truth, I'm over the whole f-cking thing. I'm sick of talking about it. This is one of the reason I havent been to the last few meetings. I loved talking to people before I had it, but I guess I needed a break. I'm tired of the questions when I tell people, I'm most certainly sick of the "You must feel so much better" And what I'm most sick of? The men who stare at me. I am so sick of being googled, that I could scream. I hate it. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to Kroger the other day. The PRODUCE GUY looked at me. I turned away. I looked back.. he's still looking at me.. LICKING HIS LIPS. I look away.. he's STILL LOOKING AT ME!! I got so freaking FURIOUS thatI forgot half the things I needed. I dont know why it made me so mad.. Just because I'm thinner and I have big boobs DOES NOT MEAN I can be looked at like that. I am so over it.