New to the board, need help

I am almost 2 years out and struggle with my food choices, big time! Just last night I had a nice, small piece of peanut butter pie. I had planned it for my treat that night and I was soooo looking forward to eating it. But, it tasted so good I thought I would have another bit, then a little more, until I got sick. My head was saying "it's so good, don't stop!" but my stomach protested big time. yet I still did it, despite knowing I wouldn't feel so well. The whole "stopping eating" thing is a hard habit to break and each week I think to myself  "haven't you learned anything yet?" I know mine is emotional - I've gotten to the point where if I want something that I don't need, or I'm not really hungry but still crave something, then I journal it to see what exactly triggered it. Usually I'm upset or stressed about something and my way to cope is with food. It's all I've known all my life and is REALLY HARD to break, so don't feel like  you are alone - as a matter of fact, I'll bet there's a lot of people on this board who would echo the same struggle. The board has helped me to acknowledge my problem and I know that it will be a life-long process. Unfortunately I've had 42 years of developing these behaviors and it will take a while to change them. Feel good that you made the choice to do something with the surgery, that's a great first step! Now, you need to work on the rest of your life and confront this head on. You may feel out of control and I think that is normal - keep seeing a counselor, talk to friends and family and us and just keep working through it. One day you will look back and realize how much you have improved  and will be amazed, and proud, of yourself. It won't be easy, but you can do it! Big hugs pam

thanks for replying pam. i appreciate it. it sounds like you have been successful even though you sometimes eat more than you should. my problem is i eat stuff i shouldn't way too often. i am just going to keep working on making things better. hopefully one day it won't be so hard!

Did you discuss your diagnosis of a binge eating disorder during your psych evaluation?  If so, did they work with you on behavior therapy prior to surgery? You need professional help.  I would start with a follow up appt at your surgeons office - be truthful about your struggles and your diet so far.  You can work with the nutitionist - it is not too late to change this around!!  I also suggest making an appt with a psychiatrist and he/she can refer to you a good cognitive behavioral therapist to work with. This is serious business.  Please take care of yourself and seek out help.  You can be a success with your surgery, you're just going to need more help along the way!  Keep strong!

Nicole, When I first started this process I looked at it in very black & white terms - either I was doing what my "plan" said that I had to do or I wasn't.  I would really beat myself up for it and my first few NUT appointments were miserable because I would tell her, "There is no way that I can eat the way that this plan tells me too.  If I could eat this way I wouldn't need the surgery."  However, when I sat down and really thought about it I was making changes that I had never thought possible - I gave up drinking at least 6 cans of regular Pepsi per day, I was snacking at least 50% less, and other things, but I was *so* focused on all of the things that I wasn't doing and I was letting that get in my way.  When I changed my perspective and looked at the things that I *had* changed, then the other changes started coming a lot easier because I felt confidence that I could change the way that I was living my life.  None of us is perfect and all of us got here because we struggle with the way that we eat.  I'm not very far post-op, but I can almost promise that nobody here will tell you that their emotional struggles with food disappeared with their surgery.  We all have to continue to make choices daily and some days we're going to make better choices than other days.  That's a reality for life for any person - obese or not.  When I look at my surgery's "plan" I know that I have never met *anyone* that has followed that plan exactly every day.    Then plan is meant to be a "usual" way of living life and everyone understands that some days you won't stick to the plan, but when you don't you should have a good idea why and it should be a planned choice (like a previous poster was saying). I'm a strong advocate of participating in individual therapy and would highly recommend that you meet with a therapist that specializes in weight loss issues and compulsive eating.  Speaking with a therapist combined with keeping a food and emotion journal can really help you figure out why you are making unhealthy food choices more often that you would hope to...or to come to be comfortable with the food choices that you are making (and the consequences of doing that).  I wish you the best in your continued journey and know that you are capable of making good choices for you.  Thanks for checking in with us as we all struggle with this at least on occasion.