"She used to be big"
I had someone at work the other day approach me with that...."Can I ask you something? Cuz I heard you used to be big." This person is overweight herself and wanted to know what I had done to get the weight off, as she would like to lose some herself. I told her about the surgery...she doesn't want to go that route so she asked me what else she could do to get some weight off. I have never minded people saying that about me at all. I rather be a 'used to be' than a 'still is'.
Along those line I have people now telling me..."you could stand to gain 10 lbs" I told her you could stand to lose 10...now how does that make u feel? Heifah shut right on up...its like the smaller you get the less feelings you have too. ILike you said, its not like when u were bigger they held a poster saying you used to be thin. I think its backhanded insult and they can kiss my ass! but whatever whetehr big or small unless I as for it don't give me no comments on my weight an
HW 299/PS 286/CT 155
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Yeah, people have all day to stay out of your business. That said, it may be that these folks aren't saying this to bring you down but rather as an acknowledgement of your achievement - of course you know these people and you know best what their underlying motivation is...most likely its neither love nor hate, most people are just thoughtless about this kind of thing. Its something to say...hey guess what....
Most of us - me included - put so much emotional energy into our weight issues, it taps into our self-esteem, our sexuality, our shame...almost anything anybody else says on the topic is going to be wrong.
If these folks are important enough to you, you can tell them individually and in private how you feel about this - and if they continue then feel free to use any other the wonderfully pointed rejoinders others have posted - they deserve it.
Its really not too different from telling everybody your friend used to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day but then got the nicotine patch and doesn't smoke now - and tell Joe over there who is still smoking he needs to stop... its annoying, but I don't know that its malicious in intent.
Most of us - me included - put so much emotional energy into our weight issues, it taps into our self-esteem, our sexuality, our shame...almost anything anybody else says on the topic is going to be wrong.
If these folks are important enough to you, you can tell them individually and in private how you feel about this - and if they continue then feel free to use any other the wonderfully pointed rejoinders others have posted - they deserve it.
Its really not too different from telling everybody your friend used to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day but then got the nicotine patch and doesn't smoke now - and tell Joe over there who is still smoking he needs to stop... its annoying, but I don't know that its malicious in intent.
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