Especially for Debbie - you gym rat, you!

I saw this post on the Exercise and Fitness forum and thought I would share with you here...it's too funny. Dear Diary... For my 50th birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still losing since my WLS, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer Named Joe, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress... MONDAY Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was Well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Joe waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Joe gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my pulse after Five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today.. Very inspiring! Joey was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! TUESDAY I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Joe Made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air -- then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Joey's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me. WEDNESDAY The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Joe was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other Club members. His voice is a little early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Joe put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Joe told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too. THURSDAY Joe was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Joe took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the ladies room. He sent Muffy to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank. FRIDAY I hate that @#$%, Joe, more than any human being has ever hated any Other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without Unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Joe wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the **** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? SATURDAY Joe left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly Voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. SUNDAY I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. Have a great day at the gym!!!!

And you wonder why I do not go to the gym! Thanks Susan Needed that laugh Julie

sounds like me and my sister in law! jen

That is soooo funny! I went and met the trainer at the gym just last night and he kicked my @$$. I am sore today and feel like hiding but I am going to make myself do this and I needed this today!! Thanks Susan, you made my day!! I will be thinking about this tonight at the gym. Tina Z

Yea, I'm really not liking my PT right now either. He keeps making me sore (and not in a good way! lol). But - Rome wasn't built in a day and I can't be skinny in a day either! It sure was a lot more fun putting on the weight than it is to take it off! Susan

That's tooooooo funny. It kinda sounds like the way you talk about your trainer. It is exactlly the way I feel about mine. Deb