Is it just me?

Okay everyone...I am still extremely excited that I am going forward with this surgery. I have 2 more nutrition classes I have to have. I have had my psych eval and my cardiac clearance....now, I wait. I know, everyone waits. But did everyone else feel so depressed doing so? And I mean depressed. Somedays are better than others. I don't know how to explain what I am feeling just wanted to know that I am not alone Jodie

Trust me...you are so totally not alone!!! I have been so depressed lately about having to wait. I know that my insurance packet is just sitting at Dr. Bour's office until 9/8/06 before it can go out. The waiting is killing me. I agree that some days are better than others but yesterday was terrible. I was so miserable being fat. I think what the problem is, is that we know it can help us and the fact that we can't do it right away is killing us. You are not alone and hang in there. Rachel

I think you hit the nail right on the head!! I am SOOO miserable and now that I have the means to be better and I have finally worked through my fears and anxiety about it, I want it to be now! I feel that when I have this surgery I could possibly (probably) even be a better wife and mother. And I want that now. Over the summer break we did not take my children to the beach because I would have been too depressed and my life with my hubby (if you know what I mean) isn't want it used to be. Well, enough complaing I will feel better, just not today, I'm afraid Thanks for listening y'all! Jodie

Just jumpin' in here to give my friend Rachel a big ole hug ... ((((((((((((((((((( Rachel ))))))))))))))))) I'm sorry you have to wait until the 8th to begin waiting for your approval and date. I've been trying to make my daughter understand that idea that things happen for a reason ... sometimes we never know the reason until long afterwards. Try to rest in the knowledge that God is in control, and the timing will be perfect for YOU. Maybe not for the Carolina/Tennessee game, but football isn't everything. (I don't really believe that last sentence, I'm just trying to encourage you. ) Seriously, even though my surgery date is past, I'm still waiting and impatient with you! YOU are not alone, either. Dawn

Thanks for the hug. I apprecaite you understanding what I am going through. I don't really even think it has anything to do with me wanting to be able to go to the USC/Vandy game. It is more about the fact that I am sick of being this way and sick of feeling so bad about my self. It is miserable!!! I am so ready to be a loser!!! Thanks for understanding. Rachel

You better believe I understand it. "Miserable" was a way of life for me, since I was 25 years old. I have 20 years of being over 240 pounds under my belt. (that's a 3x belt, of course.) Once I started thinking of the surgery as something I COULD do (I spent years considering it, then talking myself out of it, scared of complications, telling myself that saggy skin would be just as bad as being fat, etc.), I didn't want to spend another day being the only sweaty person in the room (in January!) ... I wanted to be able to walk in the mall with my daughter without my knees and my metal ankle screaming in pain ... I wanted to spend time with extended family and friends and enjoy it, instead of smiling on the outside while my brain was obsessing over how much room I was taking up, or how my clothes fit so badly, or how MISERABLE I was being the fattest person there. My son got married last October, and I am here to tell you that shopping for a suitable dress for that occasion when you wear a size 30 is just about impossible. Not to mention, the rehearsal dinner ... I wanted to look casual, yet classy and pulled together. NOT. I remember attending a bridal shower for my future daughter-in-law last August ... the fattest in a room of over 20 women, and I spent the entire party trying not to cry. My hair was soaked with sweat, and my face was beet red ... because the host of the party didn't have her air conditioner set to "below 70" like I had to have it ... it was 72 degrees in her house. The night before the wedding, I tried on every possible outfit I had bought ... if my husband ever realizes how much money I spent on clothes for that 4-hour occasion, I'll be soooo ashamed!! (I know I bought 5 dresses from an online store that didn't allow returns ... that's how desperate and panicked I was.) But the night before, I still had NO idea what to wear to my own son's wedding. That was one the lowest moments of my life. And it was my turning point. My light bulb moment, if you will. Life keeps on rollin' by, and I knew I had to make a sharp right turn! I hope you know that you're headed for your own sharp right turn, and soon! Your days of misery will always be a part of your story ... but, one day very soon, they will be behind you. And you will have SO many years of looking and feeling good ahead of you!!! I'm so glad I know you, Rachel ... and I can't wait to be a witness to your transformation! Love, Dawn

Bless you Dawn. I didn't know you very well when you had your surgery but I read on here about what a wonderful person you were when you were going through all of your drama! It has been a true blessing to meet all of you ladies. When I get down, I always know where to turn! I guess I need to get myself back to the gym. That will be the best medicine to get my self in better shape and maybe even lose some weight before surgery. I gotta chill with the last suppers. They are great but they make me feel so bad afterwards. Thanks again and God bless you. Rachel

No, it's not just you at all! I was on pins and needles waiting for the insurance approval, and when I got it I had to wait another four months before surgery because of work issues. It was a roller coaster ride! Up and down and up and down, depression, excitement, second thoughts, third thoughts..... Hang in there! Lisa

You're not alone in this one! The feeling comes from knowing what you want, knowing that you will live a better life, knowing your health will improve ... and being powerless (temporarily) to make it happen. You have to wait. But then one day, that phone rings, and the person on the other end gives you the news that you are APPROVED, and bing bang boom, you have a DATE. And all the waiting is over. For me, that's when the "Am I doing the right thing?" thinking began. Ay yi yi. It's a roller coaster of emotions from the start ... but it's so totally worth it. (I just hope my family survives the mood swings!) My Daddy used to say, "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." Hang in there, Jodie ... by your toes, if you have to! Dawn

You guys here are the best! I knew I'd feel better after talking to you...even just a little. Thanks y'all! Jodie