At what point did you know? (Rock bottom)

I hit rock bottom a long time ago. As I sit here reading the above info on Sleep Apnea I have tears in my eyes because I'm frustrated that I can't sleep properly because of the excess mass surrounding my parts, that does not allow me to breath because they are suffocating. I think I reached rock bottom when...reaching to wash my privates became too difficult and rather than have them smell like pristine berries I allowed my backside to remain smelly because as one member wrote our arms do not grow even though our hips, belly, and backsides grow. In addition, said backside cracked not one but TWO toilet seats! Oh the anguish...I'm like I am a FAT person. You only read about people breaking chairs on TV for laughs, but man that's me.

The other more important reason is when I learned that my MASS is not allowing me to breath properly because the MASS has far exceeded what my frame should hold...sigh...And so now I write with tears in my eyes very frustrated with my MASS, however I am eating protein first and chewing ever so slowly. My wonderful spinach and brocolli and onions are looking up at me ready to be consumed filling me with all the vitality they offer. And my feet are looking up at me ready to go walk soon after and despite the rainy cool weather they are on board because their owner is on board for she now has it in her mind to only think health and good fuel and positive warm thoughts about being healthy and NOT being the size of a linebacker every football season!

I knew when I tried (one more diet -- sigh) and after two weeks loosing just seven pounds that I didn't have the will power to stay on a program the time it would take me to loose the over one hundred pounds that I had gained (better yet regained) after my last diet.  I also knew that I needed some assistance with eating sugar and that if I chose the lap band I knew deep inside that I would find some way to return to my previous eating habits.  I saw an article about the Rou-N-Y procedure and I had to have more information.  I attended an informational seminar and I KNEW that I finally had found my way home.  My surgeon had the surgery himself and was a very attractive normal sized man.  He described "fat" behaviors that I didn't even know I participated in, for example wearing slip on shoes, arriving to a function after it had started as not to have to socialize with others, and the funniest (in my mind) was he asked for a show of hands of people who planned on going thru the drive thru on their way home and wished he would hurry up and finish his seminar!  That was in 2001 and I still remember that night as if it was yesterday.  I had my surgery in 2001 and lost 139 pounds.  Today I buy clothes at a regular size clothes stores, I can walk down the isle of an airplane with out turning sideways, I no longer rub against every isle seated passenger but the thing that makes me the happiest is that I now fit into the ever shrinking airplane seats.

The help that is available to those considering this option to weight loss is amazing.  This is a journey that you do not have to make alone.  My recommendation is to find that support from someone who has made the journey before you and who will help you thru your ups and downs.  A lot will change in your life and if you follow your surgeons program, food choices, exercise program, and utilize the emotional support programs you will be successful.  However be aware that should you begin to rationalize why you are not able to follow the program, you will not attain the maximum result.

Your surgeon will give you a second chance at a normal size life, don't let that special person down who has dedicated their life to help people like us.  They see the person you are within and I imagine to each of you reading this that you are -- an amazing individual.

Let me say that it is amazing to "fit in" to this wonderful world!  I send each of you my best wishes for your success -- this may be your last LARGE anything!!