At what point did you know? (Rock bottom)

I have to say yesterday I could not answer this question. Sometimes when I look back I get very upset with myself for getting to the point to have to have WLS.

I have been overweight my whole life. After I got married I started putting on weight. I then had three miscarriages before having my son. Then I had another one after I had him. I then got pregnant with my daughter she was born ten weeks early. I was very depressed.

I wanted to have the surgery ten years ago my husband was not on board. I think I would have failed if I wasn't ready for it. I thought it was a quick fix.

Three years ago I was so depressed. I also was a big liar.  I was the funny fat person when we went out I would have ****tails and pretend I was the toughest person in the room. I always had to make people feel better.

As time went on I knew I had to do something about it. One day my husband and I were looking for sailing gear for me. I was over 322 pounds at the time. I thought I will just wear a mans 1x well I ended up buying a mens 5x. I could not bring myself to even wear it. I will say that was my breaking point.

That May I made an appointment with a surgeon and told my husband he could go with me if he wanted to. He went and was supportive. He understood what I needed to have done to me.

I can't forget what point was my breaking point. I really now try to focus on what is coming in the future. I do look at pictures of myself and try to love the person who I was before surgery. And forgive myself for getting to that point. 

I just love you Susan.  You're such an amazing person and I am really glad that you are happier now.  But, I have a feeling you were always an amazing person -- at 322 and now that you're skinny.  

Thank you.

Yes you are. 

I don't think we allow the grief for mothers who loss their  babies. Such terrible loss you went through and persevered. 

Deb

"I also was a big liar.  I was the funny fat person when we went out I would have ****tails and pretend I was the toughest person in the room. I always had to make people feel better."

This. Exactly. I had the same barrier up. 

About 5 years ago I hurt my knee and knew I had to do something...  I told myself I had one more diet in me and then I would try WLS.  I went to a university program, lost 120 pounds and a week after I reached my goal weight, I started regaining and never stopped until I had gained 110 back.  I looked into WLS, and learned that only 3-5% of people who lose weight can keep it off.  I finally admitted that I was NOT one of those lucky few 3-5%. (It took me 57 years to figure that out!!)   

I accepted that about myself and looked at my options:  stay heavy and gain a few more each year, go through a cycle every few years of losing and regaining, or get WLS.  

I am 10 months post-op, so I am still in the honeymoon phase, but this is the first time I reached my goal weight and was not diet fatigued.  I am 10 pounds below my goal weight - but I am staying on track (with some vacation exceptions to be honest) and seeing where my body thinks is healthy.  

I don't know if I ever felt I was a rock bottom, because I could have gained more, I just was at a decision point if I wanted to put more pressure on my knee or get WLS.  And WLS is easier to recover from than knee replacement.

I always tried to tell myself that I was a healthy fat person... until I was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea and told I would likely die in my sleep if I didn't use a cpap machine to help me breathe. I felt humiliated.

I had my breaking point in bed while laying beside my husband, with tubes and a machine helping me breathe... at the age of 33.

P.S.  I no longer have to use that machine!

This is a great thread thank you all for sharing your stories, you all are so inspiring.  For me my Ah Ha moment was about 1 month before I turned 40.  I actually had a mini midlife crisis I think.  Coincidentally, my BMI had just hit 40 as well. I was the largest I had ever been and I looked ahead and thought do I really want to live in this body for the next 40 years? Will I survive another 40 years in this body?  My quality of life was being affected and I finally knew I had to do something.  I had considered WLS when I lived in San Diego 10 years ago, but I was not ready.  I told myself I could do it with diet and exercise, and went on to lose and gain back the same 50-60lbs over the next decade.  

I finally made the right choice for me, my health and my future.

"Get busy living or get busy dying." - Stephen King

I was on vacation to see my brother in Seattle.  The airplane was uncomfortable, but I was flying with my husband and kids so we just wedged me in and it didn't bother me to encroach on them.  What did bother me is when we were at the hotel pool, and I tried to walk up the steps out of the pool.  I felt all 290 pounds weighing me down and I almost couldn't make it out.  I didn't swim often because I didn't like to wear a bathing suit (or try to shave my legs enough to get into one) so I was shocked at the difference I felt in water and out.

It still took me 9 months to get the nerve up to make that first call to the surgeons office and get the ball rolling, but that was when I decided enough was enough, and that i had to make changes if I wanted any sort of quality of life.