I made a mistake tonight

OK, this is a little not like my normal usual cheerful self, so if you don't want that image of me to be altered in your minds, don't read on. OK, back story. I've been single since May of last year. It was a bad breakup, and it changed my personality, I'm afraid, permanently for the worse. So for the past year and 2 months, I have tried my hardest to forget everything that ever happened with all of that. I made the mistake tonight of looking at his myspace profile just to see if I could stand to look at him. I don't know why I did it, I knew I couldn't. But I did it anyways, and now I'm just all depressed again and not happy. I don't like being depressed, but I don't know what to do now. Any suggestions?

Ah, sweetie, I wish I was there to give you a big hug!  Bad break ups are never any fun.  The only thing that makes them better is time.  Some break ups require more time than others.  You are making so many good choices in your life right now- try not to dwell on things you can't control.  You WILL come out on the other side of this relationship better off.  This jerk was obviously really stupid because he let you go!

Don't wallow in the past- create a new future!  I know that sounds really schmaltzy but it is true.

PM me if you want to talk and I will give you my phone number.

Denise

 

 

 

Michelle, Umm...yeah...ummm WAIT, HOLDUP, WHOA.... What the hell are you thinking?  Why in the hell are you pining over a man?  Do you not realize who you're becoming?  You brokeup for a reason.  the reaon was something simply complex....you didn't jive well together and someoe decided that it was toxic enough to end the relationship. You re a great girl who has hope, promise,  fun, and  a future of being skinny and highly attractive.  SO what the hell are you worried about a relationship at this point.  When you're as young as you are, you have an issue with patience.  Patience, or the LACK of it, is what divorce is all about.  It's a lesson teacher that slaps you hard and makes you realize that you bargained away your best efforts too early and it grants you only regret for your troubles. If you love yourself, (which i think you do), then move along....focus your time on YOU.  Everyone in this life gets lonely.  You are not alone, however the real life is just around the bend for you and I, for one, am interested in seeing the potential of a great human being come to light. No more pining....no more selling yourself short....don't give an ounce of you that is not earned.  Take this from a man.  If you must give, give yourself pride and self love that endures injury and pain that may come from others or situations that you handle poorly.  Everything I tell you comes from my heart and from my experience.  i wouldn't get on my preacher's stand if I didn't honestly love you as a friend.  Don't be depressed, lift yourself up and turn your emotions aroun to motivate yourself to be able to give yourself enough time to see who the NEW and IMPROVED Michelle will be and you'll find that befoe you know it, QUALITY individuals will be beating your door down with a seldgehammer just for the opportunity to kiss you.  Then just imagine how badly the man that you no longer have in your life will feel the sting of your success... Big love and support to you.. T.

Two tears met in the stream of life. 

"I am the tear of the woman he left" said one.

"I am the tear of the woman he left her for" said the other.

(it's a japanese proverb) but it's true. It's one thing to understand what went wrong so you don't duplicate the mistake, but once you get the gist of it, let it go.

Not to sound like a floozy, but not every relationship is for the duration-doesn't make them bad, just temporary.  You and he learned (or did not learn) whatever it was you needed to learn from the other-time to move on.  More things to see and learn and do!  (OK, not those things, you know what I mean....)

I suck at relationships, but I'm pretty good at being happy....so that should count for something.

Well this is going ot be one of those "Everything happens for a reason" posts.  If I could change a few things about how and when I met my girlfriend I would move it up a year.  I am going through major changes and well she needs professional help for her demons so she can love herself again much less me too.  I have heard reports from many whacko docs who don't think we should even date for 6 months AT LEAST after surgery.  Our bodies and minds are going through a major change and emotions run high.  You are a very cute girl and with each pound lost you are only getting cuter.  Please don't take that the wrong way.  Concentrate on you right now sweetie, putyour all into this journey.  The men will come to you in time, and you will find a great one I know it.  Take it from a guy who can already tell, you will be one hell of a catch.

M:   You should have called me - sorry I was not here for you at that moment.  Of ALL people, you should remember what I have been through the last few months and called - even though I have to work early.  I am always here for you woman! Now, back to the butt kicking!  Did we not just talk about the fact the you need to empower yourself, to decide what YOU want and walk through the flames to get it?  Yes we did!!!  However, I will tell you it is much easier to talk about it than doing it!!  This weight loss journey is so much more about us as individuals than it is ever going to be about our weight.  We have so many things to correct besides our weight that if it was JUST the weight, that would be a piece of cake (sorry about the bad reference!).   The hormone swings, the self doubt, the intense reflection are all a part of this journey!  There is no way to tell everyone exactly what we are in for when we do this thing!  It is different for all of us!!  But there are a few things that are the same for all of us......We are damaged souls when we walk into this journey.  In order for damaged souls to be repaired, we have to do a lot of soul searching, decide exactly (ha) what we want out of life, figure out how to get it and then learn to live with it!  And crazy as it sounds, that all starts as soon as we wake up from the intense drug induced state immediately following surgery.   Decide what you will and will not put up with from those in your life (or your future).  If your ideas do not match what you are getting from them presently, give them options or show them the door.  There is no middle ground!  Use this time to improve YOU!  It is the time to be SELFISH!  Get what YOU need and want and then you can help others.   I go through the same thing periodically (back to the relationship gone bad) where I have bad days and really want to "change" the outcome.  But I know - and you know - that relationship was TOXIC - it is time to put only GOOD and HEALTHY things into our bodies.  Hang it up to experience and move on sweetie!!   Make sure your relationships are WORTHY of your time, energy and love!!! Love ya loads - hang in there - the ups and downs are all over the place - it is what we do with them that counts!!   

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) you are such a beautiful young woman! Please dont dwell on the past, you have a wonderful future ahead of you. hold your head up and move one!

Michelle, When the world gives you 100 reasons to cry, show the world you have 1000 reasons to smile. It is normal to get down from time to time about relationships in the past. But, that is just what it is, in the past. You have so much going for you. You are young and beautiful and have your whole life ahead of you. I wish I could go back and redo most of my life, but I can't. I am certainly wiser now as I have grown from bad choices. You have just had a moment of weakness. Stand up and dust yourself off and know that today is a brighter day. Never allow someone else to be your priority, when you are only their option. You have my number, call if you need to. Love ya, ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) Rita

Thanks everyone for being understanding. I don't know what else to say except whoever doesn't have this board in their life is seriously disturbed. I don't think anytime in the near future I will forget what happened and how I got burned, but I've got more important things to do now...like for example, I have a lab practical in 4 hours that I haven't finished studying for lol. My weakest moments are when I'm sitting at home by myself with nothing to do and everything to think about. That will probably be when I'm calling or texting Ruth, I know she hates texting, but oh well Again, thanks for all the support! I love you guys.

See, you're already sounding better!  Make up your mind to move on and nothing will stop you.  We all go through relational blow ups.  Some of us are really damaged in the process, but Thank GOD that He is watching out for us and if the relationship had been a good one to begin with, we'd never have to go through the sheer chaos and deep heart ache of the break-up.  Hope your lab went well!  Just reach out when you feel this way and we'll always be here for you!