Decision Not To Tell - How Obvious Will It Be???

So I've been researching lap band for the past few months and have read threads on whether or not to tell and in general it seems half of you are in the "shout it out to the world" camp while the other half are in the "only tell 1-2 people" camp. After a lot of soul-searching and thinking on this topic, I have a very small number of people that I'm letting in on this decision.  For now anyway.  Perhaps I'll change that thinking down the road but right now I don't care to get into it with most people. Only 2 people at work know - 2 that I trust dearly and am sure who won't spill the beans.  For everyone else at work I'm just "taking a few days off".  My surgery date is July 5th.  IF I'm feeling well enough I'll be going back to work on July 11th - not quite 1 week.  Here's my question:  will it be obvious that I've had something done?  Will I be able to get around like I normally do??  (I sit at a desk most of the day.) In addition, there is a huge family gathering happening on July 14th.  I definitely am NOT sharing the news with this group.  I will still be on liquids at this point and will manage best I can - hoping no one realizes that I'm really not eating much.  Any pointers on how to get through that day?? Thanks so much everyone - really appreciate the support. Sheila

To Tell or Not To Tell? I'm in the need-2-know camp. My kids and hubby, sister, parents and best friend are the only ones who needed to know at this point. I have a ton of weight in the past and gained it all back, and in a small town, that is utterly humiliating. I just don't want to be the topic of anyone's speculation or gossip. I may be anyway, but no need to hurry it along, keep em' guessing, I say. I suspect that one day, I will share with those I think might benefit from knowing, but that's not likely to be for awhile. Just my opinion. Family Gig? Keep busy and keep moving. Help the hostess, help the little kids, help keep glasses filled and and help cleanup. No one will notice you' re not eating much. You could still go through the motions of filling a plate (lighty, then they won't question your wt. loss later!), and just set it down somewhere in all your busy-ness and efforts to reconnect with family!  Good luck!

I am also choosing not to tell.  I have only told my mother, sister and one friend, besides my husband and kids.  Nobody at work knows.  I am a teacher aide.  I do a lot of walking so will get my walking in everyday.  It is your choice who to tell and not tell.  Good luck to you.  Christine

I didnt tell my bosses anything except that I was having a "procedure" and it was personal and left it at that.  I almost wish I didnt tell as many other people about the surgery because  now they are like the food police,watching what I eat and asking how much I lost, blah blah blah. I went back to work after one week (I have a desk job).   As far as the family gathering...No one will notice what you are eating and if they do....hey just tell them you are cutting down, not feeling well, you already ate.....whatever.  You can get through it!

Ok Shiela First of all, 6 days off is not enough. Just because you sit at a desk doesn't mean anything. You need to not go back to wor****il you get a medical release from the doctor. You need to take time off for yourself and get adjusted into a schedule that is best for you. I went back to work after 6 days too and it was way too much for me and I sat at a desk too. It is very tiring. You need adjustment.  Be careful for everything you do after surgery.

I decided not to tell to many people either only the people who care and would be support me in my new journey.  I had to go to a party like 1 month after surgery and said I had something prior to coming and that I was in a new diet so people expect to see you thinner after this. this way it won't be such a shock went you loose the weight and they see you again. to many my diet is working!!! lol lol lol lol hope everything goes well with surgery and if you have any questions be sure to ask will be happy to help!.

My personal experience is if you decide not to tell stick to that decision. I only told a handfull of people that I had wls, my mother, brother, boyfriend and his mom, mind you I have seven sibilings and my father is still living. All my life my family had been very critical of my weight...other then my one brother and mother who always made me feel that it didn't matter.Telling my job wasn't an option, because I would have lost my job.  My goal orginally was to get to a normal size, well I ended getting real thin. People started to comment that I looked like a model.  I must admit I let it go to my head. So when my doctor asked me to be in a bariatric calendar, I said yes. I had asked about the distribution of the calendar and I was told it was just given out to patients. Which was no problem since I live no where near my doctor. Well a year later my doctor used my picture to advertise a bariatric clinic he opened up 3 years after I had my surgery with him. I had nothing to do with his clinic, I didn't even follow up with him that much post op. The ad ran in 3 major magazines.  The kicker....I found out he used me in the ad when my boss called me in and showed me the ad. Needless to say  it caused a lot of problems for me at work (super long story). So this is why I said if you decide not to tell, DON'T TELL !!! Donna open rny mar 18 2003 282/145/140 

Donna, Wow what an experience you've been through.  I can't believe that it got to the pint of causing you problems at work! I appreciate everyone's advice and support - I'm going to take it day by day in regards to how I feel.  And I will get through this family event some how or other. Today I'm trying not to worry about anything, other than relaxing and resting before surgery tomorrow. Sheila

Sheila: My intentions were not to tell anyone except my family and close one at that-  Well I went back to work two weeks after a Gastric Bypass and the weight loss was drastic and everyone was talking and rumors were flying. I finally had to tell my staff as they were worried that I was sick as I lost 25 pounds the first two weeks after surgery. They reacted in mixxed emotion and they think I am crazy- but I know the health issues that I had and believe me- I am glad that I did it! Good luck in surgery tomorrow- Smiles, Vicki