Please read; looking for a friend or support.

I'm surre this is very unorthodox. It pains me that I'm resorting to this, but recently I've had a major upheaval. June 4th I had gastric bypass surgery. I've mentioned in past topics of mine that I was overwhelmed, and I still am. Maybe I should give all the details here, but I don't want to make anyone some long topic that they have no interest in. Long story short; I was rushing to get my surgery for someone I love. I did it for myself and us. It was an onine relationship, one that lasted over 2 years, but it was serious. Anyway, I wasn't ready, but I've been told by someone that "Sometimes we have to do things we aren't ready for to get what we want." So I did.  I rushed andgot the surgery as fast as possible, even though I've been contemplating it for over 2 years. They broke up with me e days after my surgery. I have no friends or family for real support. They were my main support and what drove me to take a chance and change my life for the better. Andnow they're gone. We're still friends but its painful, everything is painful, and now my heartbreak is making recovering from surgery even harder. I feel alot more tired and I can barely get any sleep. Taking my protein supplements has been a major battle now too, as they nauseate and to the point ti takes me 2 hours just to get down 8 ounces, and only if I try really hard. I guess what Im saying is, is there anyone out ther ein NY, hopefully Brooklyn, that would be willing to be a support buddy or friend? Heh I feel stupid asking, but I'm so lost now and I'm scared Im going to mess up and eat something I shouldn't or stop doing what I need to do to maintain myself. If you want more details or anything just ask and I'll email you whatever. I'm sorry for taking up your time, but thank you for taking the tiime to read this.

Hey Alexx,

This is exactly what this board/forum is for.   It's not just to get support regarding our flight to surgery, surgery and post surgery schtuff!  99.9% of us have additional baggage to go along with it.  I wish I was closer we'd walk together.  By your having your surgery, you have begun to put yourself on a path to a better and healthier life.  At this very moment it might not seem it, but trust me, you have.  I'm very sorry to hear what has happened to your relationship.  Focus on yourself and your new life.  There will be someone else out there for you when you're ready.  as my brother has said to me... endlessly... there's a sailor in every port.  Well, we might not want all the sailors, but we will find one that floats our boat!  Follow your doc's advice and do what you need to do to get through your post-op diet.  If you don't like your protein drinks, as i didn't, try Sugar free Carnation instant breakfasts.  I love the chocolate flavored one!!  sip sip sip walk walk walk rest rest rest! *~*Blessed Be*~*

Hi Alexx, I'm rushing out the door to see my Doc right now but I did want to reply now because my brain is like a spaghetti strainer and I'll forget my thought! Here it is: Your surgeon must have a support group...and/or there must be support groups near where you live. This is a good place to meet friends -and- get the much needed support you need regarding your surgery. RUN....don't walk...and find a Support Group for exactly that: SUPPORT! Hugs, Karen

Hi Alex,
Love isn't suppose to hurt. Pick yourself up,brush off those knees and look at what you do have in life! You can make many new friends here and like Karen said at your local support group.
Look at this as starting a new life for you, not for them. My mother always told me "Look out for #1, yourself!" You have to concentrate on your new body and your new well being. You can do this! If you can have a long distance relationship for 2 yrs, you can do anything! I don't want to seem harsh but I have been hurt really bad before (we all have). Each passing day it will get better and better. Time heals all wounds!
Anytime you want to talk...there are many people here who will lend an ear. Hope you feel better!!

Debi

First I want you to know that what you did was very courageous.  There are so many people on this board who have really reached out to others.  I am not anywhere near Brooklyn, but I can certainly be your friend.  I am home most of the time so feel free to email me [email protected] or my Aim is tessie5995.

First things first and that is right now you are in a predicament where you absolutely HAVE to take care of yourself. This is the most important thing.  If you are not getting adequate nutrition then it could possibly lead to re-hospitalization because of dehydration etc. You don't want that.  Easier said than done but try to turn that hurt into a new determination to succeed. Everything takes time to heal physically and emotionally. Please do as the others said and find a support group. Of course keep posting as there is always someone to listen to you. Take Care~~ Diane

use and abuse this board as much as you can ....also see if your hospital or doctor has live support groups... we have a group that meets once a month as my surgeon also holds support groups.... try to reach out to people in the city or try to put together support group in your area and if you cant use this board because thats why we are here....... most importantly despite whats going on try your hardest to remain positive and give your self the healty life you deserve....... its now time to focus on the precious tool you were given and remember we are here for you......... good luck and god bless. if you need to you can email me at [email protected]  ill always lend an ear and advice if i can Stacy

*sigh* thank you everyone. i really just need friends in person because online friends just dont seem to be enough. When I go to sleep and when  Iwke up all I can think of is him and how he's no longer mine; how he no longer is in love with me. I believe in being totally honest, and yes I'm gay. If you're disgusted or do'**** to associate with me I'm sorry. Its only been 2 days and more and more I realize all that I lost, and it makes me feel scared and panicked and lost. At any rate today is my 1 week post op check up. Atm I gtg because Im gonna try and get state photo ID. Something I've never done but should have like whaen I was 18 (25 now). I haven't allowed my picture to be taked since I was 14, not I'm gonna be carrying around a card with my ugly face on it.. Wish me liuck =/

Alex, Hun I am sorry you are going through this right now, hang in there and take care of YOU now! I know that is hard to do when you are hurting but know it WILL get better for you! This is a very exciting time for you, so many awesome changes will happen though it is very hard work! Know that this is a first step in the NEW lifestyle you are creating.

Hun 2nd you do not need to be sorry that you are gay!!! No ones business and if they have a problem with it then so be it! Please keep in touch and post often, I understand about the in person friend thing but know we can also help you!!!!!

 

I know how hard it is to lose somebody online, it hurts bad.  Sometimes i still don't think i am over it.  I had the VSG for me and thinking i would look better which is funny because i live in Brooklyn, ny and he lives in Colorodo.  Anyways you must take care of yourself and go to support groups as they are important and your health is priceless.  I am a female and have nothing against people who are gay as long as your a good person so you found a friend here in me, so if you feel like it you can email me at [email protected] and i will email you back all my best frankie