i need your input - PLEASE

my story is probably like most, struggled all my life as an obese person. concern of surgery same as everyone else. scared of surgery, fear of complications, FEAR OF FAILURE!! knowing that this is just a tool SCARES ME THE MOST. to go to this extreme in altering my body for a tool is plain FRIGHTENING.  will this be any different than my past attempts? for my past attempts i knew that i had to exercise, eat healthy, change my mindset, etc. well, for this TOOL to be succesful i must do the same thing.  why will this work when it hasn't in the past????? if i was truly capable of CHANGING, then why do i need this surgery, the pounds would come off naturally.  my internal question is....if i am gonna do all that then why get the surgery... i should do those things, NOT surgery and i would lose the weight.  for some reason it just doesn't work like that. WHY?????  i've been "motivated" a zillion times in my past, felt "this time" i was gonna succeed....yet to fail once again.  OMG...lets not even get into WHAT IF I GAIN THE WEIGHT BACK.  i know what i have to do to be a success at this. what are my chances???  at this point after 25 years of attempts i've lost faith within myself.  yes, i am excited, yes i believe, yes i know what i want, yes, i want to "eat to live", yes i deserve to have my outter appearance match my inner, yes, i want to live life, yes i want to live healthy, yes i want to extend my life span, yes i can do this, yes i am willing to do what it takes, yes  i want to be able to see my feet lol, YES, YES, YES!!! but truth is i've answered YES so many times before :( liz

liz. Hi Well we have alot in comon as I had all theese same qustions and feelings that u are having. but I beleive that it is the right decision I have made. You said how is this time going to be differnt.Well this wls you will not be able to eat the things that you used to eat. you will get sick. Also this is not something you can go on and off like a regular diet. This is for life. plus you are not getting all the calories from the food that you eat after wls. I know  this just a tool but I beleive it to be a dam good one. it is gonna be alot of hard work but it seems to me from what you have said. I think that this tool will really work for you because you can be compliant and follow a healthy eating regimn. I wish you the best of luck and please feel free to talk to me any time. When is your date? Sheila

thanks for responding sheila. i have my clearances done. hoping the office will submit to my insurance this week.  no idea how long it takes to get a surgery date.  not sure where the dr. is scheduling right now. i will keep you posted. ps. i have a pup too. when he gets out i make the kids get him lol  don't wanna get a black eye from my boobs runnin down the street. lol

 

liz

It's hard to have it not work (esp. during the losing phase).  Remember, you won't be able to eat much for quite a while.  Your stomach will be tiny.  All you'll be doing is trying to drink.  Food is secondary for the first several months.  As a matter of fact, I was told I'd be lucky if I did 50 gr/protein per day by the 6th month.  Others can eat much quicker, others slower.  Again, it's very individual.   Remember what's being done.  Your body has to adjust to a whole new way of eating.  Different than the 'before' part of your life.  It needs time to understand it and it really can't not work while you're losing unless, I guess, you ate nothing but junk.  But believe me -- you won't.  I've been a binger all my life but realized if I didn't eat my protein I'd be exhausted and feel ill.  Your body will tell you if you're not eating your protein (one you're able to), drinking, and taking your vits/minerals. Three stories:  First story:   I was down to about 180lbs. and tucking shirts into jeans.  I was happy & my dad said, "Well, you could stop now if you really wanted to."  My mother and I looked at him like he was nuts.  I couldn't stop.  My body wasn't finished.  I was eating a decent amt. of carbs (along w/the protein) but sweets ran right through me so I didn't go near them.  (I do now).  It works.  Please have faith. Second story:  Yesterday, I was eating some junk (it was a holiday weekend) and I didn't feel like eating dinner.  Yet, on 2 separate occasions during the day I made sure I drank a protein bullet.  They're only 3 oz. so they're quick to drink (25gr/protein), but they're gloopy and kinda thick.  [I wouldn't recommend you try them too early.  Stick w/protein shakes].  I don't love them by any means but I drank 2 of them -- 2 of them!! -- b/c I knew I needed the protein to reach at least 80gr.  (My surgeon wants 80-120gr/day).  You get this mindset of what you need to do and you do it.  You will too. Third story:  Many preops ask re: feeling full.  They've rarely, if ever, felt full in their lives how does this happen w/the DS?  I never felt full preop.  I ate, stopped and then ate more.  Now I am full.  I was a barfer.  I barfed for the first 9 mos. preop (very atypical with the DS so I wouldn't expect this if I were you).  No matter how much or how little I ate even if it was just a teeny bit over my limit up it came.  Now, I rarely barf but definitely get full.  My stomach is obviously larger than right after the surgery 2+ years ago but I just know when I've had enough.  Sometimes I pu**** a bit and feel the fullness too much.  It's uncomfortable.  So it does happen.  I can't explain it, nor do I understand it but you know you're full.  It's pretty neat.  Look forward to it.

thats extremely encouraging. congrats on keeping it off long term.  it is so nice to hear from 1+ year people.  your input is valued. liz

Liz, I feel the same way as you.  After putting yourself through surgery will this time be the charm or will it be a failure like all the other attempts?  I have to believe that this will be the charm.  I have seen the results right before my eyes.  My neighbor (who also went to Dr. Cooperstone) is 2yrs out and she looks fabulous and she feels even better than that.  Is it a struggle?? Yes it is.  Nothing comes easy and after all is said and done you WILL make it work.  Just keep going to the support groups and find yourself an "Angel" to help you through the rough times.  And from what I have heard there will be some rough times.  But you have to believe in you that you can do this for yourself, which I know you do.  If you didn't, you would not have embarked on the journey....( I can get so dramatic at times LOL).  I can only reassure you that you are not alone, I feel the same way sometimes,  and I even think to myself...Can I do this for the rest of my life?  My answer is I am gonna have to.  I won't have a choice anymore and my yearning for a normal body is greater than I could ever imagine.  Hang in there and you have this board to voice your concerns, it seems like a really good place to come for encouragement.  When are you having surgery?  Mine is next week.  Hang in there and trust in God that you are here for a reason.  Sometimes we beat ourselves up more than we should..... Jen

thanks jen :) i am so happy reading i am not alone.  its negative thoughts and i don't like to express them but this is also a HUGE decision which i have made and going to carry out.  i am glad to know i am not the only one wondering if this will be the charm.  i know i should be going into this 100%

I am going into this 99% with the 1% still wondering if this will be the charm.  I know it is going to be and there are so many success stories.  I know how you feel about thinking about your stomach as a "tool". But it will become the most important "tool" of our weight loss.  Hang in there friend!!!  From what I am hearing it's going to be an exciting new journey!! LOL  Jen

Hi Elizabeth!

My name is Lila. I'm 40 and had my roux-en-y just three weeks ago today. You and I - we had a lot of the same worries, so here's my first post as a member of this site, and I hope I don't screw it up.

My sister, who is two years younger than me, had the same surgery eight years ago, and frankly, messed it up as much as possible - she got pregnant three months after the surgery. She'd been cut all the way - not laproscopic like me - and had all kinds of problems.  Thing is, I knew all about that going in, and for six years I pursued this surgery. I knew what all the complications (she's on B-12 pills for the rest of her life, and has bouts of being anemic) outcomes could be, and all the dangers, and the fact is, to be able to walk again, it is worth the chance.  My WLS was on May 7th, and so now it has been three weeks and I can tell you I'd sure as heck do it all over again. And I am NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT a person who can stand pain, so when I tell you it was not terribly bad, I am so very not kidding! I did my research, chose a doctor for his skills - and since his office is over an hour one way from me, I did some serious driving to make sure that this doctor, with over two thousand bariatric surgeries under his belt, was the one for me.  Secondly, I wanted to tell you how I feel. Unlike many, I didn't barf much until just recently - which is when I drink too much water - and up it comes again. I am not hungry often - thirsty yes, but not hungry, and I hope you don't stop reading now ---- I eat three ounces of something and I'm stuffed! It's like back when I was a kid, you sat down to eat Thanksgiving dinner and at the end you're going MAN that was good but I can hardly move!!! No kidding. It's a part of life I was not really expecting - I actually remember my sister was always eating, -- I mean, we have to get enough protein into our bodies, so the yogurts and protein shakes always seemed to be in her hand. But the fact is I have to make myself eat ----- I get lost reading a book and then start something with my daughter and before I know it, six hours went by and I'm worrying because I have to get protein into me. I take chewable vitamins (Flintstones) and I keep putting protein into me. To be honest though, the nurse said I'm to have 45 to 65 grams of protein per day and I can't shove that much in me yet. I've yet to hit the 45 grams.  What's funny to me is that I've found my issue to be food - I want to chew something! I'm not hungry - I just want something I have to chew. So I eat turkey - at my one week checkup I was told I'm allowed mashed potatoes, pureed canned vegies, and turkey or chicken, so long as I pureed it. Oatmeal, too ------------ and of course the yogurts, sugarfree puddings, sugarfree popcicles and protein shakes.  Believe me, you SO won't be hungry.  It is not like any other tool - this one works, and I'll let you know how it works for me.

Liz, Yes....scary as it is, WLS is only a tool. I had and have the exact same fears as you. I'm almost 9 months out now but I have someone near and dear to me who forgot her WLS was only a tool. She's gained back more than 1/2 her weight now. VERY sad. She didn't go to support groups. BIG MISTAKE. She started eating sugar. A tiny bit at first, but isn't that how the desmise of any diet starts? She started drinking with meals. Again, BIG MISTAKE. Like you, I feared I'd do the same things I'd done in the past. So, right away, I did everything different. I go to as many support groups as I can fit in. I go to the gym before work, M-F, missing it only if I feel sick. NEVER before did I see the inside of a gym! I will not try anything with sugar in it, and I even avoid sugarfree foods that are too close to sugary foods, like candy, ice cream, etc. I never want to crave those foods so I avoid them totally. Will it work? I'll make it work. This is my last chance at a healthy weight and also a full life. The surgery doesn't work on our brains unfortunately. That lies in our own hands. Start now! Go to support groups - pre-op's are always welcome. Join a gym. or start walking. It's beautiful out now. Okay that's my view on it but I certainly appreciate your fears. I hope to always have that fear in me...it will keep me going strong.