I'm not telling

I just go my approval yesterday and decided I am not telling anybody I am having LAP RNY. I am telling everyone that I am having heital hernia repair Surgery. it is very simmilar with the 5 incisions on the abdoman and recovery time is about the same. I told my mom and Dad and of course my best freind but she lives in new mexico so she would never tell anybody. I am not even telling my own brother or grandparents or inlaws. They all just think I am a hetial hernia surgery. So how am I going to explain the rapid weight loss? Any Ideas. I was thinking that maybee I would say that I am working with a nutrinist and on a strict diet. and workout program. I don't know. I just don't want to tell. any suggestions please. Sheila

Curious......may I ask why you don't want to tell them?

hi, cheri I don't want to tell anybody because I don't want people to judge me. I don't want to listen to people try to talk me out of it, and tell me that I can loose weight on my own you have done it before. I just don't want to here it. I just want people to think I did it on my own . When you think about it we really are doing it on are own this is just a tool. we still have to do alot of hard work. Some people would think that I was taking the easy way out. Little do they know how hard it is gonna be even for the rest of my life. but people can be ignorant. I think the people who think that are just envious. my own mother thinks that. Those are just a few reasons why I don't want to tell anbody. Cheri how are you doing? Sheila

Hi Sheila! I understand what you're saying. Guess what, they've already judged us and maybe not as harshly as we judge ourselves. I know that it took some time for those around me to support me. Especially when I was able to lose 17 pounds doing WW and CURVES in less than 6 weeks from February into March of this year. I think I really got the support days before surgery, even! The thing is, how can we ever educate those around us, if we don't share the facts with them? If we don't somehow get their honest support? I was never happier with myself the day I decided to have WLS and follow it through over my near-2 year process. My first year, plus, those around me thought I was just blowing smoke. They found out that my determination was real and that I needed to do this for me. That's how I gained my confidence. This is how I've come out of having my surgery so successfully. Or what I feel to be successfully. If you withhold this information from them, it's a lie you'll have to hide forever. If this were me me, I'd fail at my success. The stress of it would make me fail. How am I doing, you ask? Awesome! I am telling the world my story. Everyone knows I am FAT! Yes, I'm not afraid or ashamed to say it. I'm FAT! What I am proud of, is that I am making the change in my life by having my surgery and helping those around me understand that once you get to a certain point, it's not a bad thing to ask for help. Just like we would want any addict to do! So, please think about this, I don't want to change your mind, just letting you see the situation from my perspective. Good luck sweetie

I believe that success comes from positive outlook. The fact that you are ashamed to tell loved ones about your surgery is of concern. Re-think it. What did the Psych. say? BTW: may I ask your age? -Karen

karen, I am not ashamed people. read above as to why I don't want to tell people. I will be 35 next month. Sheila

I did not tell either. It is NOT about the shame. It is simply no one's business but my own. Their are people out there who are jealous of our success. It is easier for them to put us down because of our weight. When they see us succeeding at our goals they want to know WHY so they can figure out ways to push us down. I can't beleive you think this is about shame?!! OMG!! Did you forget how people treated you when you were FAT?

Hi Shiela I felt the same way. However, I did end up telling everyone the week before surgery because I was concerned that if anything happened to me in the hospital, I did not want my husband to be left behind with people hating him for them not knowing. And knowing my family and how they are, they would give him a hard time. But i had refrained because I don't get any support from any family. Marie

Shelia...I think all of us have felt like you at one time or another..AND we all make that decision to tell..........or not...Its yours to make and live with...I see in your profile you are 34 so certainly you are old enough to make those decisions on your own.....I choose to tell others IF they ask........I even had one man recently say to me...( after i told him of the surgery after he commented on my weight loss ) he said...OHHH don't tell me that i wanted to invision you worked out every day...

Obviously, it's your decision to make but i'd like you to think it through. If you are a grown woman who makes her own decisions regarding life then why should this be any different? Do you overeat in a closet, do you eat your snacks in a stall in the bathroom at work? If something happens to you on the table G*D FORBID, they are going to know the truth. May i recommend you get yourself a therapist, this is going to be a long journey for you without the support of your family. ANDI