This is probably going to sound really strange... (long)

When I paid my $250 application fee to Duke, they sent me a packet of information whi*****luded all of the post operative instructions.  I made the decision a (week or so after the first of the year) that after the Braves Fanfest (weekend of the 12-13th) I would begin the liquid diet per the instructions given.  I had an appointment with my nephrologist on Jan. 10th (where I weighed 293) and he OK'ed it with a modification on how much fluid I should drink.  I started the diet on the morning of 1/15/08 and have lost 28 lbs, so far. OK....now fast forward to yesterday.  I totally fark up what time I'm supposed to meet Annie and Lee leaving Keith and I an hour to talk in the restaurant before they are supposed to arrive.  Keith tells me "You're doing so well on this diet.....  Do you think you ought to have the surgery??  You've gone through so much already.....  I think you ought to call Duke and see if you can put off the surgery for 6 months and see where you are then.  " That's a full blown WOW. (period) To say I'm torn is the understatement of a lifetime.  I've come here, psyched myself up for "the day...." You guys know the routine. On one hand, I am really pleased with my progress (it seems to be right in line with others who have had the surgery-if not better) and am finding it relatively easy to stick to the liquid diet and "just say no." Even when the temptation is staring me in the face less than two feet away.  I think (for the first time in my life) I'm seeing sucess and that I'll be able to reach my goal.  I am also thinking to myself that maybe in the past, i didn't give it my best for long enough to see results.  I am also concerned that if I have the surgery I won't get to fully participate in things like going to the ballpark to take in a game and a Gerogia dog or going to Preggos (my fav Italian dig) for my anniversary and getting some wonderful pasta dish.  Any and all events with my family center around everyone bringing some dish to share and eating.  Can I balance healthy eating/exercise and only splurge on occasions and still keep the weight off? Strangely enough, I'm not at all scared about the surgery itself.  I've been off and on the operating room table so many times that I've stopped keeping count.  I've also been septic and that's no fun!!  I have complete faith in the DUKE staff and that's not a concern. On the other hand, there is a ton of self doubt!! All the failures in the past, haunt me.  Wondering if I did get the weight off, will I keep it off and knowing that it is also possible to eat around the surgery.  I think of WLS surgery as the "permanent solution." But is it really if I can control my eating? As you can see, I am really in a quandry!!  I feel I owe it to myself to give myself six more months and see where I am then. I think I'm going to call DUKE and postpone my first appoinrtment for six months. A not so cosmic Kelly!! (I hate decisions like these!!)

Fantastic job with the liquid diet! I am doing low carb as my presurgery diet. I've lost 16 pounds since January 2nd. Family and friends keep saying, well just stick with that since you are doing so great. It's tempting. However I know that it won't last. I don't have the willpower to do this forever. I need a permanent change. The way my brain operates, knowing that I can not do x, y, or z, I will not do it. Doing low carb on my own, I know I can cheat every once in a while which leads to more frequently, which leads to weight gain. I've done this 100 times. Weigh****chers, calorie counting, low carb, Nutrisystem, exercise. None of it works for me because none of it is a permanent change. The surgery is not an easy decision. I'm extremely excited and I know that this is what is right for me. I'm in countdown mode - 15 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Best of luck to you in figuring out what's right for you. Becky

Kelly, If you are able to lose it on your own, that is WONDERFUL. I personally hated that liquid diet it about killed me( I lost 27 pounds in 2 weeks ) . Remember when you have gastric by pass it is a life time thing no turning back , so you really should be sure it is what you want. It would not hurt if you held off a few months but remember once you start eating solid food again,,, you could gain weight very fast, so be careful.  Truly weight loss is a life style change not just a quick fix. At the start of my journey I did worry about " food loss " ,,, now , I know, I can have a hot dog as a special treat , can't eat but half of one , but it does the trick... cover dish lunches don't have the same effect on me , now I eat a bite or three and watch the others pack themselfs with food and it makes my tummy turn, yuck.   So we all do deal with the " food loss " issue but speaking for me .... I AM SO GLAD I HAD THE RNY SURGERY , I feel like a new woman, food is no longer my enemy , I eat to live NOT live to eat like before.  I have lost so much weight and unlike all the diets before I have a tool for a lifetime. I thank The Lord everyday for allowing  me to have the surgery. Search your heart , read lots about it ,,,, ask questions .  Good Luck

Yes the liquid diet is working now - but its not something that you can stay on forever... it may be easier to stick to because you know you only have to do it a short while and you have a huge reason why you are doing it. My problem was never losing weight... or doing a diet, my problem was keeping the weight off. Thats why I decided to have WLS - I needed a tool to help me keep the weight off and help me to keep from regaining the weight. I think its that way for the most of us - we are EXPERT dieters... as well as expert regainers. Think back to previous weightloss attempts, previous diets - wernt the first few weeks easy? You are revved up and ready to go... the scale starts moving putting you on a weight loss high - then BAM the scale stops, you lose motivation, life gets in the way etc etc. I know I could stick to a diet for a few weeks, a few months, heck maybe a year... but I would always end up back where I started - and usually heavier.  One can say - well if you failed before how is WLS any different? I have a tool now. Not only was I given a tool I was taught how to use it. I also was taught about how to properly feed myself and what I should be eating - wow, nobody had done that before! Sure things like weigh****chers gives you points, but there is so much they dont tell you... once you really learn about proper nutrition a whole world opens up. The tool is only 10% of your success, the other 90% is up to you... its your job to work your tool... learn how to eat properly, learn about nutrition, take suppliments and work out.  IMO moderation is key - *warning* this does NOT work for everybody. There isnt ANYTHING I cannot eat - I can enjoy whatever I want. Do I eat pizza? yup, pasta? sure, cookie? heck yah! I just choose to do so in moderation. Many things I have found healthier ways to make so I can enjoy... certain things, like a cookie, I will enjoy on occasion. We all go thru the "I will never eat this again" phase.. but its just not true. There is the possibility of food intolerances but overall as time passes most of us can eat what we choose to eat. The first 6 months will be rough- many rules and regulations but eventually you can just be 'normal'. The key is to really learn your body and learn how to listen to it... over time you will learn what you can and cannot do - you will learn what your body will and will not tolerate.. its all a learning process, a big WLS puzzle if you will... but it can be done. My advice to you is do to a little soul searching - what brought you to decide to have WLS in the first place? Is WLS really truly your last resort? Do you feel in your heart you never really tried to lose weight before and maybe this time will be different? Are you ready to put the work into making the changes in order to make WLS successful? This should help guide you some... we all doubt our decisions...I always found thinking back as to why I took the first steps really helped to remind me of all the struggles Ive had in the past with weight loss.

Hey Kelly!  I think the first thing you should do is ask why you were doing this to begin with.  Weren't you referred by docs?  Was it for a particular medical issue?  It really isn't about weight loss, it's about better health for a life time.  Only you can determine what's best for you, but you need to access your medical professionals for their input.  BTW - did you see the article last week that wls cures some diabetes?  How cool is that!  So anyhoo, before you make a decision to postpone, go back over your entire thought process and redecide.  See if you come up with the same answer as last time.  And let us know what you end up with.  good luck!

Kelly, I don't think anyone can answer your questions or concerns but YOU, as you have done.  You have talked to yourself in your post here and shared your conclusion.  We all have to do what is right for us personally. You might want to spend some time in the main forum (if you haven't already).  I did that as I was researching and found some posts just like this one from you... some who disappeared (I supposed they decided to never have the WLS) and some who came back after their waiting period and were wishing they had gone ahead with their initial decision to have surgery.  That's the great thing about the OH forum, you can find all sides to any situation as food for thought. There's no right or wrong answer here.  There is the one that is what you have to do, in your own heart of hearts.   I would suggest along with all your questions to asks ones like...  How many times in the past you have done so well, only to get it off, but not keep it off? It may be relatively easy now to stick with the liquid diet and "just say no," but how long can you keep that up and be satisfied, and what will you do when you come off the liquids?  Once you go off them and see how you do, that might be your final answer right there. Set some goals for this time period as markers to help you make your decision down the road. You may not be able to do some of those things you're wondering about post-surgery, or you may very well be able to do them.  As you know, it's not only about having the surgery, but it's about making lifestyle changes... healthy ones.  We all got where we are because we didn't make the best choices when it came to lifestyle (healthy) issues, so whether you have the surgery or not, if you want to lose the weight on your own, you are STILL going to have to make those lifestyle changes to be able to do that and keep the weight off.  I can still go to favorite restaurants and have some of my favorite this or that, just not as much of it.  And as someone who has owned a catering company for 20+ years, working in food service most of my life, is currently a personal chef and who adores food and all the socialization that is associated with that, I had some of the same concerns you are having... BIG time.  That was the one thing my friends and family were most concerned about and asked me about most frequently before surgery... "Wendy, your world is food, what will you do about THAT after surgery?"  I honestly didn't know, but what I did know was that I was willing to sacrifice whatever "it" would be to lose the weight. In 3 short months (and -70 lbs) I have come to realize that except for raw fruits and veggies I can have in a couple of months, I can have about anything I desire.  I can still cook (and do a lot of it) and share my passion with friends and family and clients... and not miss a beat!

I, too, have concerns when I see just how many folks regain weight, some or all of it.  THAT is the scariest part of all to me.  But I'm doing everything I can right now, up front, to retrain myself and lose old BAD habits and establish new ones that I hope and pray I have the fortitude to keep.  On top of that list is EXERCISE, because from what I see, most folks who fail think they can be successful with just the surgery.  And that AIN'T the way it is.  I have become dedicated to exercise, in many ways, and know that is THE key to long term success.  I can no longer become complacent about moving my ass. 

We all know, or should, that surgery is just a TOOL in a bag of other tools.  It's like baking a cake.  It has several ingredients.  You can leave out the eggs, but you'll end up with a half ass cake.  You can have the surgery but not exercise or be vigilant about what we put in our mouths, but that half ass we have will become a full one again! If you think you need to take six months and rethink this, DO IT.  You might decide in 3 that you're ready, or you might decide in 6 that it ain't happening.   I know this has put you in a quandary, but better now than at the 11th hour! Do what is in your heart and what your GUT tells you to do.  No matter what, you know we'll all be right here behind you Kelly!

Thanks for your post..... It took me years to decide the surgical choice will be my path.  I really started in late 2003 and got surgery packets from 2 different surgeons...surfed message boards like crazy, and tried several more diets before I believe it was the right time for me...before I knew this is what I wanted and met with the surgeon I wanted to be connected with.  I think you've got to be sure . . . With that said (and semi-contradicting myself), I think there will always be fear and doubt, no matter how sure you are.  Most change brings some sort of processing.  I too have felt worried I won't be able to fully enjoy things after surgery.  For me personally it worries me a little that so much of my pleasure is wrapped up in eating and the fear of emptiness if I won't be able to find happiness the same way after surgery.  I wonder if my experiences will be tainted?    So I think of myself like the alcoholic who has to learn to live without alcohol.  The party is still there.  The people are still there.  The event is still there....I know I just have to live and love and experience differently...and find value in other things besides what I turned to. One "trigger" for me is someone at work who constantly says...."you are doing so good...why you don't even NEED surgery."  It's so hard because it is such a judgement statement on what I've worked so long to decide...and I feel like it is my difficult decision to make, not someone else's. And for me....the path toward surgery, and wanting the safest surgery possible IS WHAT IS giving me the momentum to change habits and prove I can make a life of it.

Now a coworker sharing her unsolicited opinion is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than a loved one talking to you about it and helping you work through what is best for you and your family and being there for you either way. Sometimes it takes someone close to us to say what we need to hear.   Surgery is a big step.  And I think you surely owe it to yourself to make sure it is the right time and right decision. No matter what, please stay on the board.  We'll be here for 6 months or longer to support you and celebrate your successes whatever road you take!!!

Hey Kelly!  You didnt tell me you ok'ed it with your nephrologist now Im not so worried Just the nurse and mom in me I read all the advice you got ..it all sounds good...hears a suggestion.... You  and your husband could go ahead and go to the first appointment and talk to the PA that you will see and just get more information to help you make your decision. talk it all over with the PA and they could always put your case on hold but you will have had that much done incase you do decide to do it..hope this helps.......good luck.. ~Mary~

Kelly I see you are Braves fan!! OMG I am a HUGE Braves fan!!!! we travel to Atlanta probably 4 times during the season so I can watch the boys play!! WOHOOO Go Braves!!!



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I don't really have anything to add...these ladies have given you great advice. I did, however, want to mention that I had my 1st new patient appointment at Duke in July and didn't have my surgery until December, so you might be waiting 6 months anyway before surgery even if your appointment is soon. Just wanted to throw that in there. Good luck!