Best/Worst reaction from friends

I am "dieting" with a large group of friends (brothers in a co-ed fraternity) who have challenged themselves to lose a brother in 2008.  (Meaning collectively the brothers will lose enough weight to equal that of a person!!) It's supposed to be like a support group.   I'm wondering though....How will the brothers who are having trouble losing weight "the old fashioned way" feel about me having this surgery? (And yes, I know about how the surgery is only a tool and about hard the lifestyle change will be.....but, they don't.  They still think I'm cheating!!  Or do they?!?) What has been your best/worst reaction from friends when they see you then find out you've had surgery to achieve the weightloss?

Kelly :)

Everybody who knows about my surgery I told pre-op... there have been only a few people post-op whom Ive told. Random people I see that I dont care about ask how I lost weight I just say I see a nutritionist and a personal trainer. I get the benefit of the doubt because Ive only lived in NC for 5 years... when I first moved up I weighed around 250, dropped to 194, then back up to my 'normal' 288... people here all saw me 'skinny' and 'heavy'... when I go back home and see people I havent seen the amount of weight I lost could be done by a 'normal' person being I was a lightweight when I had the surgery (252)... most of them never saw me at my heaviest of 288 or lightest of 194lbs. Here were some of the reactions from those I told before surgery - dad - are you sure about this? mom - you are going to die!!!!!!! (my mother is VERY dramatic) brother - thats cool, can I eat all your leftovers? best friend - (she had the surgery before me) we are going to be two hot *****es! another good friend - (shes overweight) you are going to get skinny and think are you are all that and be a ***** oh and you wont be able to eat and all your hair will fall out (aww, so sweet!) Anybody I told post-op I had the surgery was because I felt they needed to know.. mostly it was other overweight people who saw me losing and wanted to how I was doing it!

OMG! I think we have the same mother. LMAO "Mama Drama" we call her.

Kelly -

I have been very fortunate. I'm pretty open about how I lost the weight ... I think the only "bad" reaction I had, came from a lady who worked at Catherine's when she made a comment to the effect of "Oh! So you took the easy way out." Needless to say, I don't even have to take my business there anymore.

Before my surgery, my mother, sister and a friend were concerned that I would be okay. That I would survive the surgery and that I not have complications. The friend, who is also morbidly, to super-morbidly obese knows several who had the surgery and had serious complications, so she was worried for me, but has been supportive. My mother and sister felt it was a radical decision and that I could just "suck it up and lose the weight" because I had lost before. I took mom with me to any Dr's appointment she wanted to go to ... and she went to many. I let her ask any questions she had to ease her mind. She was still terrified of my doing it, but she respected my decision and has been supportive. My sister has voiced as much concern to me as she did to my mom. She's heavier than she's ever been in her life and she's wearing a 12/14. The reason that I share that, is that Karen doesn't have a relative perspective of having to lose a massive amount of weight; a massive weight loss for her is 25 - 40 lbs ... mind you, it's massive to anyone, but it's different when you are staring at 100+ lbs. I guess what I'm saying is that her perspective is clouded by her own limited experience. I don't have a relationship with my brothers, so neither of them have talked with me about it. One brother that lives here in Raleigh personally knew of someone who had traveled this road before and had seen the metamorphosis first hand. While Scott weighs more now than he ever has, he too has never been anywhere near obese ... At any rate, according to my Mom, he comforted her re: her concerns. Thx Scott! My youngest brother Jon, is also average sized ... I don't know how he felt/feels about it, but my mom said that she showed Jon a photo of me and he was just blown away.

I guess, in the end, it doesn't matter too much what THEY think. THEY don't have to live in our bodies, haven't tried all the myriad of diets and failed, have the health problems. We do and we need to be comfortable with our own decision since we are the ones that will have to live with it ... or "Get" to live with it ;-) Soooo, don't worry so much about what THEY do or don't think. The only reason I cared about what my mom and sister think, is that I care about them and don't want them to worry. That said, I listened to their concern, mulled it over and moved forward.

Sorry for the rambling answer.

Barb

Kelly, In life you are always going to find people who will agree with what you are doing and then you are going to find those who dont. before my surgery I heard someone make a statement that wls was taking the easy way out. Sorry I hate to tell them there is nothing easy about wls. wls surgery is I feel a very personal choice. I made my choice based on many of my comorbid health issues. Just for me to not have to take 4 injections each day because of diabetes makes me know in my heart and soul I made the right choice. Also to be able to walk without my cane is one more thing that shows me I made the right choice. Before wls things were frustrating with the ins. and I felt like I would never get approved. I even asked my mother to pay for my surgery. My mother's responce was she could not live with herself if something went wrong. Somehow I stuck with it and had the surgery. If I was told to do it all again tomorrow morning I promise you I would be at the front door of the hospital before day break.                                                   Annie

Isn't incredible how many different responses we can get about OUR PERSONAL decision.  I know our "friends" mean well (or honestly some don't....ever), but if they have never suffered from obesity they just can't possibly understand.  God Bless them they try.  I had a friend have the surgery 6 months prior to me and I constantly give her support and compliments.  They are very warranted and I personally know how important that is because now I'm on this side.  It has become very difficult to accept the fact that she hasn't really wanted to know "anything" about my success.  so I have continued my support and just have to realize that everyone isn't me.   The one main reaction I got that shocked me was from my father.  I have to give you a bit more information to make this understandable.  My mother was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 11.  She lived a life of weight gain and loss and everything else that comes along with that horrible disease.  My father and I saw the evil silent killer of diabetes ravage her body.  It did eventually take her life because of the many complications and eventual body shut down that diabetes caused her.  Soon after her death my father looked at me and said... "please take better care of yourself and loose some weight so I don't have to put the other woman that I love in the ground".  BOY....  was that a wakeup call.  I think within weeks I alone made my decision to start researching WLS.  When I told him of my decision earlier this year about my decision to proceed he was beyond thrilled!  He offered me the ultimate compliment/support when he said that my mother would be so proud of me for finally deciding to do something about my health and that now hopefully diabetes wouldn't silently kill me.  He continues to be my best support (even over my DH) and has given me so many compliments each time he sees me.  Even if it is as simple as "boy your eyes sparkle today".  He is so happy with my decision that honestly he has told more people about it than I have.  I see mutual family friends and they start asking me questions all about my WLS.  I just beam with the pride of my father....and mother!   (sorry so long...  having a major memory moment!)   Thanks- Connie