What do you think?

In my effort to get as much information as possible about the different diet and surgery options available to me, I try to talk to any people who will listen and give me their opinion. Today. I finally had someone (other than you guys!!) to tell me that she knew TWO people (a lady and her mother) who had had gastric bypass surgery with success and had been able to keep off the weight!! I guess I shouldn't restate the obvious to you, but it amazes me how much support I'm NOT getting from friends and family. I don't think my Dad will actually tell me "Don't Do It!!" but he says "Have you REALLY THOUGHT about this??" nearly every time I talk to him since mentioning it. If he only knew!! Hehehhe…..

I am thinking that they're (family) worried that this is elective surgery and is me putting myself "at-risk" unnecessarily. Is it realistic to hope that once the surgery happens and I come out OK and am successful at losing my desired excess weight that they will change their perceptions of me and how I lost the weight?

What do you think?

Kelly :)

Hello Kelly, Most of us had the people who did not want us to have the surgery, we have all heard the horror storys about my Mothers, next door neighbor's daughters co-workers husband -- almost died having that surgery... etc.... I had the insurance company telling me " to dangerious" and friends saying " just try Weigh****chers one more time " ..... but for me it can down to ME, what did I want , I decided , one if I don't have the surgery my PC doctor said " you will have a heart attack in 2 years at your weight " my best friend in the world ( also a doctor) tell me " Allison do it "  2) I could have the surgery and do what I could to make it work... I decided to have my RNY and self pay, and although it has cost me a ton of money and many worried looks ,,,, I HAVE BEEN A SUCCESS and I am so glad I made the choice to have the surgery. It comes down to you , are you ready for this life changing are you ready to be a healthy thinner woman????  Do what Kelly wants, don't worry about what others think, read, research the surgery know what you are doing, buy the Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies book.  Good Luck and remember we all support your choice whatever it may be.  Take Care Allison starting weight March 2006  --- 320 pounds today's weight December 2007---- 157 pounds

 

My sister is also my best friend.  She was the ONE person I needed "in my corner" during the whole experience of getting my pre-op stuff done.  I needed to talk to her.  I needed to confide in her.  She was 1000% against me having the surgery.  She would not even discuss it with me.  I was terribly upset.   She finally came around before I had  my surgery.  We have since talked about it all...   Be patient.  Your family may eventually come around.  If they do not, remember that this is about YOU.  It is for YOUR healthy and YOUR life.   Good luck and God bless Kelly!!

Kelly -

I think most of us have had people in our lives who were afraid for us to do this ... and not without reason ... While it is statistically our best shot at living a longer, healthier life, of course it is not without some significant risks. That being said, I decided that the risks were worth taking. My mother was scared silly, so I tried to give her all of the information that I was gathering for myself. On top of that, I offered to take her with me to my medical appointments and let her ask the Dr's any questions she had. She took my up on that offer and while it didn't completely set her at ease, it went a long way towards helping her feel more comfortable with my decision. I'm not sure that's something you will want to do, but I found that it really helped my mom.

Barb

Hey Kelly,      I am getting the exact same reaction from my mom. Although she is happy that I am doing something about my weight, I don't think she really understands much about this surgery and how advanced it is now compared to a few years ago. She keeps saying "Are you sure you can't do this on your own?" Well, it's been a good 20 years of being MO. If I could have done it alone I would have already. I think once they see how much healthier and happier we are, they will come around. Good luck, Mare

Hi Kelly, There really is nothing we can do to change other people's feelings and actions.  The only "control" we have is over ourselves.  As others have expressed here, you need to make this decision for yourself and BY yourself.  I finally just looked at it from an insurance company standpoint:  if insurance is willing to pay for it, then I must need it.  I have a hard time thinking of this surgery as "elective" which to me connotes "cosmetic."  Does that mean cataract surgery is "elective?"  Do people have such a hard time with that?  There is also a lot of judgmental reaction to those of us who have this surgery.  I have even had doctors suggest that I was morally "weak" because I couldn't lose the weight the old fashioned strong willpower way.  That is their issue, not mine.  I have improved, and continue to improve, my life with this decision, both from a health perspective as well as from a self-esteem perspective.  There is a good reason the insurance company paid for it.