Christmas party

monique1017
on 12/8/08 10:44 pm

When you were talking about your upcoming Christmas party at the last support meeting I asked if my kids could come. The response I got? "Are they well behaved?" I was offended, but got over it due to the people asking are old, and have no children. But when I got the email I was more than offended about making it clear that my children were not welcomed at YOUR little party. You said support people could come, but no children. You said infants were okay, but no children. You even put in there that teenagers were welcomed, but no children. And even better you tried to say no children due to space? WOW!!! Could you of been any more rude? So not only will I not be attending your little function that is open to everyone, but little chilren as you kept repeating, but I will no longer be at your meetings. Alot of us have kids, and they are why we live, and why some of us even had the surgery to begin with....we want to be all we can for them. But some of you forgot what Christmas is about. I feel sorry for you not having the joy of children.

susyalba
on 12/9/08 2:09 am - Overland Park, KS

RNY on 04/07/08

Hi Monique, I have never gotten to go to any of the parties because I live way too far away! I would like to say something to you about it.I am sure no one was trying to be rude or insensitive twoards you or your children. I for one have parties (ok rarely) that are for adults, and I have parties for children ...usually the childrens are held someplace other than my house(like chuck e cheese) for the dreaded term of "lack of space", adults are easier to "contain" in a living -dining kitchen area, we can sit down with food or a drink and talk, children do not like to sit in one area, they like to run around all over the place , depending on the age , get into things, break small knick knacks, not becuase they are bad kids but because that is what normal kids do! even the well behaved ones. if you didn't know someone and you had a nice place with expensive breakable items, maybe your older, already raised your kids and earned what nice things you have, would you trust a complete stranger to keep an eagle eye on their kids? The Christmas party is something people look forward too all year, it is hosted by adults for adults. I think if someone wants to set up a party for kids in a kid friendly home that is perfectly wonderful, I don't think that people should get angry if their kids aren't invited. I used to love to have a break from mine ...called "adult time", the party for kids is Christmas morning! I am not trying to offend anybody, but I also don't care for people being rude to the people who give up so much of their time to help out a those of us with sometimes "dumb" qustions. They (the ladies here) (sorry gentleman too) are some of the friendliest people ive never met lol. I live in Kansas but choose to read and post here because of the great support. Try not to judge to harshly, one day you too will be "older" and hopefully a little wiser, that is one nice thing about aging, we do know a lttle more about life that the young in's, we deserve something for the wrinkles dont ya think?

monique1017
on 12/9/08 2:29 am

Did you not get the email invite that was so plainly sinlgeing out those that have children? It said" Come one, come all" For starters. Then it goes on to say that support people are welcomed, infants, and teenagers, but not kids. That is fine to of said the party is for adults, and your support person. But they singled out "children" I have no problems with adult parties, with no children! Go to them all the time. I need my adult time. But to say every age, (infant, teenagers, support person) can come, but not children, was rude to me. Sorry if you don't think so, but I do. And then to say in the email that children could not come due to space? I am glad they are stepping up, and being kind, and doing the extra work to get every one together. That is very nice. I just was very offended, and won't attend any further funtions.

want2luv2bme
on 12/9/08 7:55 am - Diamond, MO

RNY on 11/29/06

Dear Monique,

Im so sorry you were offended. It was not my, NOR anyone who attends COF to offend you OR anyone else who has small children!

I have read, and re-read the email that I WROTE and I SENT JAN to send out to those who attend the meeting-and it was NOT worded rudely, and Im sorry if you felt offended because your children happen to fit into the "tween" age that we could NOT ACCOMODATE! It is NOT because anyone doesnt LIKE CHILDREN, it was NOT because ANYONE thinks YOUR CHILDREN arent well behaved-it is PLAIN AND SIMPLE-A SPACE ISSUE.

Whomever told you that you could bring your children, was more than likely under the assumption we would be hosting the party AT the library. That changed when we switched the location, which IS NOT costing us money for a non refundable deposit and is allowing us the convienence of a kitchen, cooking area to utilize at the church, and was NOT changed due to children! I, myself, have brought my son to the meetings-and for my 5 yr old, HAVING to sit in a chair and play his game boy, ON SILENT....Sitting still, not interrupting and so on and so forth-IS NOT FAIR! So, we based our decision SOLELY on that fact that we had NOTHING FOR THE TWEENS!

Infants and teens ARE a totally different ball game! You should understand that, and Im very sorry IF you dont-but I sure didnt want this post to go by and have people think that our Christmas party is going to be one of drama and dismay-because its NOT!

We did NOT purposely exclude ANYONE BECAUSE THEY HAD CHILDREN, we do NOT dislike children-it IS PLAIN AND SIMPLY-there was a decision we made DUE TO LACK OF SPACE! PERIOD. THATS IT!

Im sorry you cant see that, I am sorry you are angry and I am sorry that you are giving up one of the best support groups there are-BUT....that is NO reason to be rude and hateful to people, who were NOT rude and hateful to you! I think you are a wonderful lady, and I have not had the pleasure of meeting your children, but whether I had or not-the decision was NOT based on Monique and her children, whatsoever! The decision was NOT even made by the person who thought you could bring your children, since we did NOT have the option of any of the childrens rooms OR any extra rooms besides the one we will be in, AND the decision was NOT made by whomever asked if your children were well behaved-the decision was just solely made when we found out we had just one area. Im sorry if you dont understand, but I hope that you know it wasnt and isnt aimed at you, no more than it is aimed at myself-with 4 children of my own! I have to find a sitter too, but Im not offended and didnt take it as kid bashing or anyone having a lack of the Christmas spirit-

Sincerely,

Janet

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