Do others take a while to see us as small too?!?

Okay so this weekend when I was at my parents I was trying to figure out what I was going to wear for my uncle's funeral this week and realized all the clothes I had were lighter colored, very summery clothes, not good for a funeral.  Well, my mom was trying to be helpful by offering me a couple of pairs of black pants, the problem was that they were all too big on me.  She kept saying"just don't look at the siz e these run small".  Well I think the problem is, and I am not trying to be mean, but that she has gained weight with all of the stress in her life and since they don't fit her she thinks they will fit me.  One pair had an adjustable waist so she cinched it as tight as it would go so it fit around the waist but then was baggy everywhere else.  The I talked to my mom this morning to tell her about the cute black dress I found at Target while shopping with MJ and Sabrinna last night and her response was "I thougt you were going to get pants?"  I guess I am frustrated, because she has not yet adjusted to the fact that 1. I am now smaller than her by 2-3 sizes and 2. I can now wear cute little dresses and skirts.  I know that I still have a hard time seeing myself as smaller (a HUGE thank you to Sabrinna and MJ last night for helping to see how cute the dress really looked on me) but didn't realize others around me would hold on to that distorted vision as well.  Any thoughts or ideas on this?  I am afraid that this is going to be more of a battle the smaller I get, because for so long (all through high  school and college) I was the same size as my mom so she would just give me her stuff if I needed a pair of pants or shirt.  I wonder if maybe when I am the same size as my sisters if she will finally realize that since she's never done that with them that she can no longer do that with me.  I also think this is stemming from my dissappointment in no compliments from my family recently on my weightloss.  IT was so fun at the beginning and now that the changes are more in my body toning the muscle the compliments have pretty much stopped.  Perhaps if I can kick my weightloss back into high gear I can drop some more sizes and they will pick back up.  I know it must sound vain, but it was motivating to get those compliments everytime I went to visit.
Okay I am done complaining now.  Back to work I go.

Nicole...I think you are looking great!!
As for your mom and family.....it is hard for them to think of you as a smaller person. Especially if you are smaller then they are. Remember when you first realized how big you were?? At first you didn't see yourself quite that large not until you started getting smaller. I think your mom is having the same issue. She isn't seeinmg herself as bigger.
Don't worry so much about your family always saying something about your size. I don't hear it much anymore either. People are just used to seeing us this way now.
Just work on this for you....you are the only one you need to please!!

Hugs.....connie d

Thank you for the advise Connie!  Deep down I am doing this for me, I just sort of got used to all of the compliments in the beginning so now that they have all but stopped it makes me second guess myself and how I am doing. 

I think you are right about my Mom she may not be able to see herself as being bigger than I am especially when she kept saying "just don't look at the size".  Hopefully things will come into focus soon and this won't be a problem any more.

Maybe your mom is in denial of her size and by recognizing your weightloss means she might have to look at her lifestyle choices. I totally understand what you mean by missing some of the compliments. I think some people just aren't sure how to word compliments when it comes to weight; they get nervous they might offend me by inferring how I looked before was so bad.  I think others just don't want to make it the only topic of conversation when ever I see them.  I did have an unexpected recation this weekend when I saw someone who I haven't seen in a year and didn't know I had surgery; I was kind of looking forward to her reacation of me losing nearly 100 lbs but she just asked me if I did something different with my hair. I use to get that a lot after losing the first 40 lbs but I guess I was hoping for something more dramatic. 

Kathy~Yes I believe that is the main reason for  my mom's response as well, that and my older sister pointed out to me that my mom and little sister really only wear pants, hence the response about my buying a dress, but my older sis and I like to be girly and dress up in dresses and skirts, even if it is for a somber occassion like a funeral.  I hid in pants too, too long!  I tried to talk to my mom about WLS because she is always talking about her co-morbidities and the doctor who is encouraging her towards WLS and her not so good attempts to loose the weight but she got really shy when I broached the topic and said only if my dad, who has gained a lot of weight since having limited mobility with bad knees, has it too.  So I told them they could go in together and then I would take some time off and take care of them.  They weren't too keen on that idea.  I know that it will have to come when they are ready, but I fear it will come when my mom has a massive heart attack or something major like that.  Anyways, now I am rambling and sharing more than you probably wanted to know.  Thanks for the support and advice and I am very sad to hear your friend was not very observant! 

I just found out that my dad thinks I'm fudging about how much I've lost.  He told the rest of my family that it doesn't look like I've lost much weight at all :(  I think family is the hardest on us.  If it counts for anything, I think you look TERRIFIC!!!  I admire your dedication - especially to exercise (my weakest point).  You go girl :D

Thank you Lois!  I am so sad to hear that your dad thinks that, if only they knew how much hard work you have put in to get those pounds off.  I agree that families, because they have seen us get bigger and then stay there for sometime sometimes have the least hope for us.  I think part of my family's problem is also I am no longer calling once a week to say hey I lost another 4 or 5 pounds as I have been really slow with the weight loss lately.  I sure do hope your dad comes around that had to really hurt.  And I think you are doing wonderful as well! Love & Hugs! Nicole

I went through the same with my four sibs and their spouses especially that first year.  Thankfully, I still see the psychologist I've been with the past three-plus years, which really, really helped me to not focus so much on 'me' as the body was quickly shrinking.  Actually, at a cousin's wedding last fall, both my sisters were separately complimentary!  And I saw my younger sister at the Hopkins Raspberry parade (seven yr old niece is one of two Shakopee Little Miss ambassadors) and she was pleasantly shocked saying I've sure been losing more weight!  This from the sibs who told my parents at the beginning they didn't think I'd be able to keep it off.  This Friday is my two-year surgiversary, and with now taking Lasix diuretic four times daily, am back down to loose size eights, and even some sixes.  Had been hovering in the 140s for too long, and with water weight, even got up to 156 one morning!  HOWEVER, this morning, I was 134! The 'wows' continue! Am now determined to stay consistent with exercise;  the food/water part has not been problematic!  Yikes, I added so much off-topic here--family members can sure consciously or sub-conciously push our buttons, though go with your best support!  And the majority is found right here!  Hugs, Patti

Thank you Patti!  Well, I have to say my oldest sis has been my biggest support, aside from all of you, in this whole journey and I think she is excited for me to be the same size as here as we are only 2 inches different in height so it will be nice to share clothes once I get down to a size 8.  Congrats on the good reactions (finally) from your sisters and on getting tha****er weight off.  Keep up the great work and hopefully the Lasix will keep on a workin.