OT: Personal attack on me & my faith at lunch

I really need to vent about this and figured there would be some of you here who would be able to understand or igve me some advise on what to do about this.    I just left lunch early because I was feeling almost attacked by some of my co-workers who I thought were also my friends. It started out when I told them that Musa was still trying to contact me on Friday and that if he didn’t stop I was going to have Dad call him and tell him to back off. They attacked me telling me that I really should just talk to him and explain everything to him and he probably just wants to know what happened and that he is the one who got hurt here. I was so upset to so I explained to them what I had learned from friends who had been involved with Muslim men, that they are very possessive and when they have their mind set on a woman become possessive and aggressive all of which I was picking up from his messages and when I answered the phone because it came up as a “restricted” number on Friday. They all acted like I was the mean one.     Well that of course led to the topic of religion and the one woman who eats lunch with us and is non-Christian and has voiced her disdain of the Christian religion plenty of other times some how took it to that Chrisitianity and that Catholic religion were oppressive of women that is why priests aren’t allowed to marry because it was too expensive to support a family. I told her no that it was because Jesus wasn’t married and also the Chruch is their family and another family would distract from their duties (this is what I learned in RCIA and from the sisters I worked with last summer). Then, then she takes it another step further and says well according to historians and not theologians Jesus was married. I told her that I needed to leave and she goes that’s alright I know this is a soft spot for you. What the heck?! Then why even bring it up?!? Ugh! I am so frustrated I don’t know what to do. I may just go back to eating lunch at my desk for a while. Sorry, for getting all upset it is just that they know how important my faith is to me and to attack it like that is just mean and disrespectful. Okay, I think I am better now. Thanks for letting me vent.

Religion is often a tough topic - there's the old joke that people should never discuss politics or religion!  And those are usually the most interesting things to talk about!  Bottom line, you get to do what you want to do in  your life, and you're an adult, so you're able to make your own choices.  If you choose not to talk to Musa, that's perfectly acceptable.  You don't need to justify it.  Some people don't get it that we are all allowed to make our own choices and that they're entitled to their opinions, but we don't have to accept their advice.   I wouldn't write these people off totally, but maybe just keep your lunch discussions superficial, and save your more personal discussions with your close friends who share your religious beliefs and support your choices.  Hang in there & remember, you're entitled to think and live the way you choose to! 

Thank you Renee I needed a bit of rational, calmness after getting so upset!  You are right my lunch conversations will remain superficial and no more discussing my dating life with them either.  The thing is we have been down this road before and then they realized how much it upset me so we avoided it which is why I think it upset me so much today that it was brought up again.  I completely understand that each person is allowed and has their own beliefs and I thought that other adults would realize the same, but apparently not.  I will simply continue to live my life and my faith each day. 

Hi hun..  I have to agree... you have a right to lead your life the way you want with WHO you want...

I won't offer any real advice here...  but you have my love and hugs and we will talk later tonight or soon if you still need to vent.

*hugs* my friend!

Lori~Thank you so much I didn't have time to reply when I first read them, but it helped a lot.  I think I was at the point that if I hadn't of left when I did I would have gone off and then there would have been some major drama!  If you are home and online tonight I would love to chat.  Hope you have a good night and thank you for your love and support!

Love & Hugs! Nicole

Nicole,

Yep, We all are entitled to our opinions, So I guess in the future I just wouldn't talk to these people about things that are private or important to you. So sorry this happened to you. You are one of the nicest people I've evr met.......Don't eat at your desk.....Hold your head up HIGH and sit with the ones you want too..........

Good luck, Hugs, Kelly

Thank you Kelly and yes you are right I will go back down to the cafeteria tomorrow and will keep to light, non-personal, work day topics.  I thought that, these people were my friends as well as co-workers, but today proved me wrong.  I talked to Sabrinna tonight and she mentioned that part of it might also be jealousy....that sparked a lightbulb in my brain and I think she may have a good point.  Any ways, people are interesting unpredicatable creatures, part of what makes life so interesting!  Love & Hugs!  Nicole

Money and religion have been hot button topics for many years.  I try to avoid conversations that involve them as someone either gets hurt or angry.  Everyone has their own opinion and belief, but not the right to make others uncomfortable for not thinking or feeling as they do.  I would no longer engage in conversation about your personal life, religion or finances with them.  Stick to the everyday whimsical stuff. 

Yup, definitely no more deep, personal stuff!  Normally religion is avoided because we all know that myself and the one woman clash like oil and water on that topic so when it headded that direction I knew it wasn't going to end pretty.  Next time I may just say something totally random to change the topic before it gets too far.

Nicole.....this is a hard subject to discuss. Some people just think they have all the answers and they are always right. I am sorry you got hurt. I agree with Kelly. Hold you head up and go to lunch with everyone else.
It the subject comes up just nicely say that is not something you do not wish to discuss. Leave it as that. No explaination needed.Go on to another subject.
Good luck...stand firm in your beliefs!!

Prayers and gentle hugs your way.....connie d